A wedding and a Newborn....

gazsgirl · Nov 30, 2009 10:16AM

Hello Ladies

I am G/C from pregnancy as I really need the advice of you all please.

Would you take a 6-8 week old newborn to a Wedding, where there is nowhere private to escape to for breastfeeding or for sleeping and where your DH is best man?

I am a first time Mum to be, and my baby is due in April. The Wedding is the end of June and is my DH's sisters big day so obviously a huge family event,.

Here is my dilemma;

1. The venue is purely for weddings, its not a hotel and has no rooms to book and nowhere to escape to to breastfeed or settle baby for a nap.

2. I want to be breastfeeding and working on aome sort of routine for sleep etc and this venue has no other rooms other than the one for the ceremony and the one for the reception,

3. Hubby is best man, which of course means he will have his duties to perform on the day and won't be around to help me much.

4. The wedding us a good 4 hours drive away from us,

I've had a few ideas, like asking my Mum to stay nearby and then take little one from me for a feed and a sleep... I've also wondered if I should just not go.

I am keen not to upset the Bride, and the other brother has 3 kids all under 5 so they will be in a similar position.

Anyone got some advice about what to do? I realise its not the Brides issue its mine, but I am a bit frustrated that the venue is so NOT suitable when you have children!

Thanks everyone in advance.

xx

treacle28 · Nov 29, 2009 1:50PM

We took lo to a wedding at 6 weeks old and it was fine. He just slept in his pram in a corner; they'll sleep pretty much anywhere at that age! I was expressing and so used a small office that they had there, maybe you could use the ceremony room? It would be a shame to miss it, I'm glad we went to the one we went to as it was actually pretty easy in the end. I assume you would stay somewhere local so you could leave a bit earlier if you wanted. I think it's totally do-able, babies are pretty flexible at that age I think.

xCALLEIGHx · Nov 29, 2009 1:52PM

if it's a 4 hour drive away you'll need somewhere to sleep anyway, so can you not book a hotel near by that you can go to it to feed and put baby to sleep, rather than not go at all?

TheHogMama · Nov 29, 2009 1:53PM

I think its a very personal thing hun x

I would go myself with baby - Dex would sleep anywhere and he'd be happy in his pram x

I think its how comfortable you will feel feeding etc is what you need to decide x x - but I wouldnt worry too much about him/her sleeping! they tend to do that regardless!

By that time Dex and I had been out for good long 16 + hour days and it was fine x

I got married last year - and even though my reception was in a hotel we had lots of children asleep across seats and floors in the reception hall! x

breighlin · Nov 29, 2009 3:12PM

We were in the same sort of situation. Invited for a wedding end of june, baby due beginning of june. We told the bride and groom we would like to go if the baby was atleast 2 weeks old. Eventually it ended up a bit different. I had Michael 6 weeks early, so he was almost 8 weeks at the wedding. My oh's parents were invited for the evening, so we left Michael during the day with expressed breastmilk with my pil. They brought him up to us in the evening and we gave him another bottle in the evening, before we went home at about 10. He basicly slept through the disco without problems.
I expressed in the disabled toilet twice in the day. And just flushed the milk down the toilet. (wasn't in a sterile breastpump) Every establishment need to have atleast a couple of toilet, I know it is not the best place to express, but it is doable.

Mind you I missed him terrible during the day andat 7 I was waiting at the door for my pil to come with him. They were late and I was a nervous wreck for a bit. But I did enjoy a couple hours away from Michael at that time as well.

NewUser39232191 · Nov 29, 2009 3:32PM

I agree with the others and its up to you. You could either take baby or if you fancy a couple of hours away from baby your mum could stay nearby and just have him for the evening time and you take him during the day. If not you could just take him and if you had a room in walking distance you could go back there every couple of hours express or feed and retreat there if it got too much. xxx

LadyTottington · Nov 29, 2009 4:03PM

Hon, I think as it's your sil you should go... you'll be surprised, most babies at 6wks old are very portable. And far easier than, say 10mths old, when they want to be on the move the whole time!

You will probably find that:

a. There is no shortage of people wanting to give the baby a cuddle and give you a break. (I went to my grandma's 90th birthday party when ds2 was only 5 days old - I didn't see him all afternoon! I had to wrestle him off my aunt to bf him LOL!)

b. There is bound to be a quiet room/corner to bf. Take a nice big shawl, or invest in one of those bf covers. I have a knack now for immediately searching out quiet corners to bf in!

c. Baby will sleep quite happily in their pram/ or in your arms!

On a personal note, I love to see babies at weddings!

You don't say where you'll be staying - but if I were you I would get a nice hotel or something nearby, then you can always take yourself off if it all gets too much for you or baby. Noone will expect you to make it through to the wee small hours with a 6wk old. When we have gone to weddings with ours, we have always escaped around 10pm.

I would also add, that taking a baby to a wedding is hard work (I have done it) and the day tends to be about 'fitting baby in' rather than 'enjoying yourself' as it would be if just you and dh went as a couple.

Mx

katstar · Nov 29, 2009 4:13PM

We took lo to a wedding in Wales (live in hampshire) when he was just 6 weeks old. The journey there was a nightmare (7 hrs in total due to traffic etc) but lo was amazing. We stopped every 2 hrs to get him out the car seat and to feed.

When we got there we had to go straight to wedding as running so late so didn't get a chance to check in at hotel. The venue was the same as you describe with only one function room but BF'ing was fine. Had a large wrap like someone else suggested. Lo slept fine in his pram through the music and everything. We even took lo onto the dance floor for a slow dance (a lovely memory i have of the 3 of us together) and he loved the lights.

The journey back only took 4 hrs (with one stop) and i would do it again if needed.

PumpkinPatch · Nov 29, 2009 4:25PM

I went to a wedding when my youngest was 7 weeks old. I left my 17month old with my Mum. I brought a rap that matched my outfit (which I made sure was as breastfeeding friendly as possible) so I could breastfeed discreatly as like you there wasn't really anywhere other then the loo's to go to. I took my pram and the only time she woke up was to be fed or a nappy change. She was so good. I sat at the back of the church so if Erin played up I could discreatly leave so I wouldn't interupt the wedding.

Due to having to drop my eldest (she so wouldn't have enjoyed herself) at my Mums the journey took just over 6 hours. South Wales - East Sussex - South London. Only stop was for a quick shower and change in Sussex ready for the wedding.

Kerry, Freya and Erin
X X X

gazsgirl · Nov 29, 2009 6:29PM

Thanks for all the fabulous advice ladies, I really appreciate your ideas and you sharing your experiences.

I think I'll give it a go afterall- you've given me the courage !

Thank you everyone

xx

WoWbabies · Nov 29, 2009 9:17PM

hi we went to a wedding when ds was a little older then ur lo will be (about 5months old) and i was bridesmaid and breastfeeding so was very awkward, but we managed it. also even at 5 months we took his lay down pram and his pjs+sleep bag and altho he was awake an hour later than usual he did sleep and didn't seem to mind the noise or crowds at all (even tho he was very bed time routined by then), also lol, the bride's (my best friend) mum took it pon herself to show austin off, it was quite difficult claiming him back lol, she just didn't wanna put him dow,, think she's anchoring after a grandchild lol. was a good night and it did work out xxx

xkelx · Nov 30, 2009 3:54AM

I think it depends on your lo. Mine has always been a bit fussy, especially when he's tired. So when we went to a friends wedding when he was just under 5 months we found it best to leave him with my parents. He's 8 months now and I still couldn't imagine keeping him entertained during a wedding ceremony. Guess that's just my lo though, every baby's different. x

Blue_xStarx · Nov 30, 2009 6:22AM

Hi hun,

I think you will be fine taking lo. As other ladies have said, lo will sleep in pram and most likely through any loud disco music. One night wont upset any routine you have in place for long. I would recommend the wrap to BF but i would also suggest making you you BF in public a few times before so you are comfortable. If not can you express in advance and freeze? put it in feeze box and by the time you get to venue it will have defrosted. Sure the venue will have fridges and wouldnt mind. That way you could also treat yourself to a glass of champagne for toast. Make sure you enjoy the day and take time out and away when you need it because with a 6 week old you will get a lot of attention and people cooing. Sure it will be fine xx

pbob · Nov 30, 2009 10:16AM

Just wanted to add that you could breastfeed in your car or a family members car-I've done it countless times, take you're feeding pillow with you, pop the radio on and put your feet up xx

A wedding and a Newborn....

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