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Feeling like Poo! :cry:

Hi Girls

I hope u are all feeling better than me today- im having a crappy weekend. Had an argument with the OH today about money (he has recently become self employed so its a worry as he is really struggling to find work at the mo) And she shouted saying "IM THE ONE BRINGING IN ALL THE MONEY AT THE MOMENT"

I know he said it coz he was angry and is feeling under pressure but it makes me feel so invaluable as i end up feeling shit that i cant go out and earn money (im on mat leave still and im already worrying about returning to work as im going to be earning less than i am now with my low wages when it comes to child care costs too)

I just get so upset because im lonly when he goes to work as ive just moved to a new area and finding it hard to meet people and then he comes home in a stress coz hes under pressure and i wish i could earn some extra cash for us but cant because im on mat leave and no body can take care of LO for me anyway. I dont know what to do and feeling seriously low right now i have hardly talked to him today and its not fair on LO with this atmosphere.

I said to him today that he has to remember without me around he wouldnt be able to go out to work either and that im a full time mum so im not useless like i feel right now. I just want to feel like im doing my bit more and feel like i shouldnt feel like this, after all, im at home looking after LO and cleaning and cooking ect for us. Im sorry to moan but i just needed to offload as i have hardly said a word all day to anybody :cry:

Sorry again
Hannah xx


  • aww hun sorry youre feeling so bad. just keep telling yourself what a fantastic job you are doing and your lo must think that youre the best mummy in the world. It is easier said than done i know coz phil used to say things like that all the time and its so hurtful coz you dont get a thankyou for doing all the washing/ironing/cookin/cleaning and childcare and you dont get paid either. What no-one tells you that being a mummy is bloody hard work and being a stay at home mum is definitely not easier than being a working mum.

    Hope you feel better soon and just remember you are doing a good job and whats more your doing it for free.

    Hayley xx
  • Sorry to hear your feeling so low honey. How old is your little one? Some feelings may be intensified if he/she isnt very old. You should really see your doctor if your feeling so desperate. my little one is now 5 months old and i felt the way you did. I went to my doctor and ive now been on anti-depressants for the past 4 weeks (which have really helped me) I REALLY didnt want to take them and didnt feel quite that desperate.. but they arent as bad as everyone makes out. Im feeling so much happier as they collect the happy chemicals in the brain. Perhaps you should seek advise from the doctor anyway.

    Hope you feel better soon sweetie. Your not alone and your certainly not the only person who's gone through it.
    I felt absolutely worthless a couple of months ago. If its early days for you.. your hormones may be causing a big part. Also the confusion of becoming a mother. .. it will pass.

    take care
  • Hi hannah,

    Sorry to see your upset, it sounds like you havent been happy since you moved away from town life into country life! Is there anyway you could move back or are you tied into a contract? I STILL HAVENT MOVED!!!

    My oh is self-employed aswell but has been for nearly 2 years and has a big following as he is a mechanic and also builds race cars but i know how annoying at can be as you just want the security sometimes and them coming home at 5.30 would be nice but in the long run it is better for us. What does your partner do?

    Im sure he was just in a shitty mood and snapped at you as he is probably worried about supporting you both as he thinks thats his duty. I have the same feeling as you i dont want to go back to work but i have to as i would like to earn a little bit of money just for myself as i would hate to rely on oh for money but i do have my mum and sister looking after macey for 1 day each so i dont have to pay childcare costs. Is there anyone that could look after lo for you while you work? Or maybe look at working a couple of nights a week and 1 day at weekend?

    Dont worry about coming on here ranting i love it it really helps sometimes as i would love to say things about certain relatives to my oh but i cant and on here i can just rant away !

    Hope you feel better today and shayla is getting on well x
  • Hi Hannah

    I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish. Please don't let it get you down.
    He shouldn't have said it but sometimes we all say hurtful things in anger, he may even feel a little better now he's got it off his chest. I know this sounds very serious but have you got a mutual & trusted friend who could act as a moderator while you two talk honestly about your feelings? You need to have your say about this situation too, your job is 24 hrs a day.

    Can you arrange a sitter for Shayla and go out for a meal/drink with your partner? Some time on your own may help you to re-connect and clear the air.

    Hope you sort something out

    Liz x
  • Hi Guys,

    Thanks for being so supportive- i feel bad about coming on here when im moody and casty a big cloud over the whole forum. But u all made me feel so much better, Hayley- ur message really made me realise that i am here for a bloody good reason playing my part an doing a good job, so thank you!! Well, i have had a much better day today. He has appologised and We had a long talk yesterday over dinner when Shayla was in bed and i decided to go to my work and ask about my wages. I was told i would be paid more which is good and that i can still earn commission for myself (Thought this would be impossible for me working part time as i would not earn so much for my boss but she said i would have a lower target to reach) so this has made me feel a bit better.

    I just need to find out about Child care cost now and look into nurseries. I did think about working Saturdays but the thing is i never know when OH is working as he is all over the place (he is a kitchen/bathroom fitter) but he does other things also to do with home maintenance. So he sometimes has to work late and weekends so that is why i need to put Shayla into a nursery really. Just not sure if we qualify with any help for it?? Its all so confusing. Im going to ask my Mum or Sister if they can collect Shayla from nursery to help me out abit because i sometimes over run at work and that will help me.

    As for feeling misrible since i moved, i think that may be right Kirsty... but- i went to the Pub today with OH and LO and meet a few people who were really nice and the landlord and landlady actually have their granddaughter there all the time so i met the mum (baby is 2 months old) and we clicked so hopefully, somebody to talk to...finally!!! They all said to go over there anytime and what with the no smoking ban its great and she loved all the attention. So i think (fingers tightly crossed) that this is the start of my new life here being on the up.

    Thanks again for your replies. Shayla is 4 months now muma_love so i dont think its hormones or anything (well apart from that time of the month grrrrr) but thanks for ur advice. And Liz- well, me and OH are planning a night out Clubbing soon (well- not much talking to be done there but planty of letting our hairdown) and Shayla will stay at my mums so that will be something to look forward to.

    Anyway Will speak to u soon i just wanted to come on here and let u know we are all ok and things are looking a bit better

    Hannah xx
  • glad youre feeling better sometimes a good rant helps and thats what were here for. xx
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