very upset (not baby related) UPDATE

God what an hour I've just had. I'll try not to ramble on as I'm crying whilst typing this.

Basically 2 yrs ago my bro (age 43) split up with his oh as she cheated on him. They were engaged and been together about 13 yrs and lived together. Anyway i saw her for 1st time a few weeks back with her new oh and she was pg. I had a few words with her as was still angry with her for what she'd done. Also late last yr my sis (age 41) told me that my bro's ex was pg but would not tell him as she was afraid to in case it really upset him. I said then that she should tell him but she said I could if i wanted to but I said it should be her as she found out.

So yesterday we went out with my dad for his b'day. Whilst me & my bro were alone I told him I'd seen his ex and she was pg. I didn't tell him in front of everyone else. When we were sat at the table he kept asking what was said etc so I told him. He seemed ok about it.

Anyway about an hour ago my sis rang bollocking me for telling my bro "in front of everyone" and I've really upset him, he's been roudn hers crying, it's all my fault etc! WTF - just cos I told him the truth, more than what she ever did. Trust me to come out the bad guy. So I hung up on her and she rung.back Oh answered as he at home working upstairs. Told him didn't want to speak to her as I was upset by what she had said. So he told her then hung up to ask me wot going on. I told him and he said well maybe you shouldn't have told him (after telling me when sis knew to tell him the truth straight away)! So i got angry with him as already upset and he just went absolutely ballistic, slammed the doors, called me a f***ing idiot, f**** off don't come back...!!!! Charlotte got upset as he was shouting. All went downhill from there. Me & oh have had a few problems since lo born. I've been diagnosed with pnd and still on anti-d's so all this was not helping and I felt like I was going to collapse cos I was getting so upset and oh actually scared me at one point. He's not been well lately as well which is making him quite grumpy & bad tempered anyway. Well after a while he calmed down and then we calmed lo down as she was quite upset, mainly cos I am so upset even now.

I've rang my bro who is ok with me just said it was a shock, but think he was a bit mad with my sis for ringing me and bollocking me. My sis has always been there for me since our mum died but sometimes she canhave a very nasty temper and can bully me as she is older than me (by 7 yrs, I'm 33). She treats me like shit sometimes and like a little girl which I hate.

Anyway sorry I've rambled on I'm just so upset that this has happened. Oh working again now but I feel like I could just walk out cos he was so nasty to me. Yes I snapped at him but his rage was awful. Made me really think hard about us now. Tears just wont stop coming and Charlotte knows something is wrong. Everytime I think I'm better with my pnd something shit happends like this. Just pissed off with everything now.
:cry:

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Well family arguement I can deal with but I'm still reeling from my oh's reaction yesterday. I can't believe he was so nasty to me and he made Charlotte cry by slamming doors loads and shouting. How can he change from a very nice person to an almost raging maniac the next?! I know he's got problems as he's ill at the moment with a chronic condition but that doesn't allow him to shout at me like that with such rage and tell me to "F*** off & I hate you" over & over again. We have made up in a way - him being all nice again & attentive but as he drove off to work this morning I found myself saying "Tosser" to him thru the window!! I feel really low today which isn't helping with my pnd. I don't know how I feel about oh either. If he carries on reacting like this to me when I disagree with him etc how can we have a relationship? Plus it affected Charlotte yesterday. She also started crying when I got upset so I can see how sensitive she is at the moment. Just don't know what to do or how to feel. Sorry for going on, don't have anyone else I can talk to (seeing as fallen out with sis too):roll:

[Modified by: ccbmommy on 10 February 2009 11:18:13 ]

Posts

  • aww hunny..BIG hugs, i think you did right to tell your brother,i would of done the same.. your sis was out of order!, dont really know what to say. hugs again lol takecare xxxx
  • Oh dear- sounds like everyone needs to take a breath before they dump it all on you. People do say things in the heat of the moment and don't always mean it but that doesn't make it ok...
    You are doing really well with the pnd- it will get better soon xxxxxxxxxx
  • thanks guys. Think my oh is mortified with how he acted but I just feel numb to him at the moment if that makes sense.
    Next time I'll keep my mouth shut but knowing me still get it in the neck. You can't rdo ight for wrong can you?!
  • i feel for you reading your situation, it sounds like a lot to be dealing with whilst having charlotte to care for, work and pnd as well. i've never done it myself but maybe some councilling would be good for you both or some sort of reationship therapy to get things out in the open and hopefully get you back on track? XX
  • This makes me a bit cross on your behalf to be honest. I think you should tell the lot of them to sod off until they can be civil to you. Its one thing being unhappy with someone but it shouldn't escalate into this! Tell your oh that he owes you an BIG apology, tell your sister to try and see it from your point of view and if she can't then she can talk to you when she has got over her big strop.

    Keep your chin up, carry on being the lovely mummy you are to your daughter and tonight run yourself a great big bath and have some time on your own.

    Sorry if I have spoken out of turn - hormones have made me a bit blunt of late!
  • HUN i not bin posting her because some problems i just wont send big hugs i to suffer PND with ollie i still very bad and he 18months i was 2 diffrent of tablet to help hope you feel better soon
  • I do know how you feel hun, men are SO insensitive sometimes and also families can be annoying! I'm also annoyed on your behalf, you were just doing what you thought is right! I bet if your brother found out about his ex by himself, and then found out that you & your sister knew, he would be angry so you did the right thing IMO.
    Hugs. I don't think men can possibly understand PND, and the pressure mothers come under sometimes...I often feel very pressured to be a 'good mother' and do the 'right thing' but OH doesn't understand this at all, he doesn't get why I dont just do what I think and bugger what everyone else thinks. Yes, some people are like that but others aren't and ever since I was 3 I can remember trying to please people and worrying what people thought of me! It's a big burden! xxxx
  • thanks everyone. No-one spoken out of turn. I appreciate all your comments/advice xxx
    Things still frosty between me & oh. He's on his laptop working so I've come on here seeing as we are ignoring each other.....
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