feeling really down...

my 8 month old is in hospital again. the doctors have finally agreed with me that something is wrong. they admitted him thinking he had bronciolitis for the 3rd time this year. back in september he had it but it had turned to pnuemonia. after taking his history and looking at his chest xray from tuesday they quickly realised that it wasn't bronicolitis but likely to be something more serious. he's now being tested for TB and cystic fibrosis, although as he was conceived by donor insemination i'm 100% sure it's not cf as i'm not a carrier and neither was the donor as we were both screened. he's had samples of everything sent for screening. is booked in for an endoscopy later in week, a CT scan tues and a sweat test tomorrow. he's refusing all foods and has done for past 6 weeks so is being tube fed, although my GP was perfectly happy for me to syringe feed him even though i'd been doing it for over a fortnight and his daily fluid intake was just 4oz!!! i'm so mad, but too exausted to complain. at 8 months he's only had a clear chest for 4 weeks of his life, but can i get a GP or A & E doc to believe something is wrong...no.
my two and a half year old has gone back to disliking me. so much so i had to get her grandad to come put her to bed tonight.
it's my first night at home since wednesday so wanted to make sure we had quality time together, but she was only happy when i wasn't in the room.
i just feel i'm abandoning her to look after her brother. she'd only just come round to enjoying time with me from his last hopital stay. she doesn't resent him at all, just me.


  • oh hunny, don't know what to say that will help...didnt want to read and run x
    I'm so sorry to hear about your lo being so poorly, sending lots of hugs for him x It is awful that things have to get so bad before some people in the medical profession will listen. I hope all the tests go ok and u get some answers soon.
    As for ur 2yr old, I have a daughter (5 and a half now) and she has been through many different stages towards me over the yrs, from hatred to total indifference. I wont pretend to be an expert, and I too have ended up with my parents having to step in (esp when I was pg with my son, she got really violent n used to punch me in the bump) but pls have faith that it won't last...she just needs to know that she is still as important to you, it may take time for her to realise that after all the attention her brother has been getting. You are not abandoning her at all, pls don't feel guilty xxx
    I really wish i could be of some help to you, we are all here for u to talk.
    Claudia xxxxx
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