I need supernanny!

Sorry, this is long but I am getting desperate!!
Joseph is 3 months (just) and generally wakes at 7am and then likes to have a 30 min nap at around 9am and again at 11 then perhaps another one at about 1pm or he will fight it until I take him for a walk during which I can get him to sleep for 30 mins - 1 hour. We do a bath and bed routine every night without exeption and if I don't have him changed and feeding by 6.30 he will kick off so he is regular in that respect too but he has to be helped to sleep and his feeding (I am bf) is all over the place esp since he got a cold which is still lingering on a bit. He has never been a good feeder and has been a snacker since birth, he used to do three sucks and fall asleep for about the first three weeks then he got better but would feed erratically, sometimes for 2 minutes, usually 10 and and very occasionally 30 with intervals of 30 minutes to 2.5 hours day and night (he used to go 3 hours in the evening but this got thrown out when we went out for a birthday meal in mid December!) Since he got his cold he now feeds for only 2 mins at a time during the day but with spaces of up to 3 hours in between. We have used nose drops, an aspirator and snuffle babe which did help a bit. He will only take what he wants and will not feed more often so I can't top him up enough for the night. We have a few bad habits with him I am ashamed to admit, one of the worst is that I often fall asleep with him on me in the night cos he feeds for longer at night and I am too tired to stay awake. He does not scream uncontrollably or anything so I know he is not starving and he is still putting on plenty of weight (though he has dropped from just below the 98th centile to just above the 91st) so I think he is taking most of his calories at night. I am trying to swap the day and night feeding around but it's so hard as he just refuses to feed much now during the day! I therefore have no idea how to break the bad habits and put him into more of a routine so he will sleep more at night.He will go down in his crib but when he goes back down in the middle of the night after sleeping on me he is very restless and often wakes himself back up with his constant writhing which will go on until he gets up at 7am (usually after another feed or two)

He always fights sleep and will usually only drop off if rocked to sleep or fed to sleep at night time.
The baby whisperer 'shush pat' does not work on him (he just gets angry!) and I cannot do controlled crying. I think Gina Ford's routines would suit him but it is so hard to get him to feed and sleep enough and at the 'right' times.

I do not have time to read the books from cover to cover and would rather get some advice from other mums so basically if anyone can offer advice on any of the above I would be sooo grateful!!

xx

Posts

  • Tam,
    that sounds exactly like Ruby!
    We had a nightmare with her sleeping during the night and feeding constantly throughout until a month ago. I am afraid to say, the ONLY thing that kicked the habit (and I DID read ALL the books!) was letting her cry it out.
    With the help of my Mum (I didn't have the guts) one day after i was completely exhausted and run down Mum stayed with me while we just ler her cry. No controlled crying - Mum says this is something they never heard of in their day - and to be fair, every time I went back in the room it would just set her off even worse! She cried for 1 hour and 15 mins (my HV said they will never cry for more than 1 hour and a half!). i was in bits but carried it through for 3 nights and now, wait for it....

    she goes down without a murmur every time and sleeps 7.30pm till her dreamfeed at 11.30pm then till about 6am when i feed her again and put her back down till she wakes at @ 7.30-8am!!!

    This method is not for everybody and you have to be so strong and I couldn't have done it without my Mum.

    i did wait till she was 4 months old though as they are then old enough to learn and i also knew that she had a bigger stomach and could go longer! My HV supported the idea.
    As long as she is fed, winded, burped and not hot or cold then I leave her to it!

    I really hope that others have better options for you but otherwise, ask your HV what she thinks and see what happens.

    Good luck, i know how hard and exhausting it is.

    x
  • Thanks for your reply Mrs E
    I will see how it goes for the next few weeks (and if I get any other tips) then I might ask my mum to come and help us even if it is just to help comfort him at night time to stop him from feeding all night. Well done you on managing to do it and for having such a good sleeper now, bless her. The thought of leaving him to cry breaks my heart but it obviously works so I will keep it as a last resort if I get desperate enough to brave it!
    Tam xx
  • My youngest is now 1 and has only been sleeping through for the past 6 weeks or so. So my first piece of advice is to try to enjoy your baby rather than fretting too much about sleeping through coz some babies just don't.
    We tried EVERYTHING to get Reuben to sleep and I mean EVERYTHING.
    The last resort was to just let him cry- as suggested by Mrs E and this worked for us it is hard and sometimes he would really cry sore but we stuck with it and it has paid off.

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