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Personal question...
Hi everyone,
I know this is probably gunna sound a bit well, nosey of me but i have to ask- How often do u and ur Hubbies/OH's argue? i feel like im totally blowing it all out of proportion but lately im constantly finding myself anyalising our relationship. I know that we r strong on so many levels but we keep arguing over so many stupid things lately like for instance last night "washing up" he said he would do it whilst i watched my programme then had a go at me when i wouldnt jump out of my seat to dry up for him so i said to him "who do u think dries up for me in the week?!" and then he went into a right one telling me to just shut up and watch telly- then when he finished he was nice as pie and im to just forget he snapped at me. Then the same thing happened again this morning over who was gonna put petrol in the bloody car!!
Thing is - we are so strong in so many areas, we have a very loving relationship and have a good understanding of each other plus we trust each other which is something i have never had in any of my past relationships. Im just sick of missing him all the time and then arguing over silly things when we r together! why does this keep happening? it happens every weekend and im wondering whether this is normal and just the fact that we dont see each other a lot and pressure of our finacial debt/having a baby to cope with and everything. Are we supposed to just carry on like this brushing it under the carpet as its always petty arguements or do we have a break? i dont know what to do coz its really getting to me now.
I love him so much and know he loves me and i cant even contemplate splitting up with him coz we r so right for each other in so many ways but tired of bickering with him. Do u all have this problem? is it natural to carry on like this ... its confusing because we cant seem to ever sort it out. Hve tried saying to him "can we have an arguement free weekend" NEVER WORKS!!
Please help- is it just me?![:\](https://forum.madeformums.com/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
?
Hannah xx
I know this is probably gunna sound a bit well, nosey of me but i have to ask- How often do u and ur Hubbies/OH's argue? i feel like im totally blowing it all out of proportion but lately im constantly finding myself anyalising our relationship. I know that we r strong on so many levels but we keep arguing over so many stupid things lately like for instance last night "washing up" he said he would do it whilst i watched my programme then had a go at me when i wouldnt jump out of my seat to dry up for him so i said to him "who do u think dries up for me in the week?!" and then he went into a right one telling me to just shut up and watch telly- then when he finished he was nice as pie and im to just forget he snapped at me. Then the same thing happened again this morning over who was gonna put petrol in the bloody car!!
Thing is - we are so strong in so many areas, we have a very loving relationship and have a good understanding of each other plus we trust each other which is something i have never had in any of my past relationships. Im just sick of missing him all the time and then arguing over silly things when we r together! why does this keep happening? it happens every weekend and im wondering whether this is normal and just the fact that we dont see each other a lot and pressure of our finacial debt/having a baby to cope with and everything. Are we supposed to just carry on like this brushing it under the carpet as its always petty arguements or do we have a break? i dont know what to do coz its really getting to me now.
I love him so much and know he loves me and i cant even contemplate splitting up with him coz we r so right for each other in so many ways but tired of bickering with him. Do u all have this problem? is it natural to carry on like this ... its confusing because we cant seem to ever sort it out. Hve tried saying to him "can we have an arguement free weekend" NEVER WORKS!!
Please help- is it just me?
?Hannah xx
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Replies
i think the problem is that men just fundamentally don't understand how difficult it is looking after a baby full time. My husband (great as he is) sometimes makes me scream, we don't argue but I do get annoyed/upset sometimes. We have quite a busy life and I know he works hard, we have a working farm and are busy building a new farm shop and cafe - and before I got pregnant I used to lecture and help him with the project - I was even staining windows when I was 8 months pregnant! However, now the lo is here he still thinks I can do the same and doesn't see why its a little harder. She is totally breastfed so he has never done a night feed since she was born 15 wks ago and she has just started to sleep for about 6 hour stretch during the night. He actually asked the other day what I did with my day - as to look after a baby 'you just have to feed her and put her down to sleep again'. Yeah its that easy isn't it.
Oh god I sound like I'm ranting now, but I don't mean too - like I said they just don't get it fully. We manage to talk things through without argueing, but I have gotten tearful a few times because i was a bit down in the last month or so due to little one being ill.
I would say keep trying, your relationship sounds worth it, but maybe try letting him have the baby on his own for some length of time to let him see what it's like (oh and ask him to do the washing and have your tea ready when you get back!!!!) LOL!!
Take care and hope you get an argument free weekend soon!
Rachael
i say - an argument a day keeps the divorce away!!!!
so it must be healthy. and i heard recently that the more a couple argue the longer they will be together. hope it is true.
take care.xxxx
Your not alone! Me and my oh have been togther for 7yrs, childhood sweethearts! We had our first snog @13 haha but didnt get together till i was 16.
I love him to death, and trust him 110% i could not imagine my life without him ever.......but bicker isn't the word! We never has a single argument when i was pregnant but since Ruby was born in Sept last yr we seem to be arguing over the smallest things in the world! Washing up, going out, picking up the dog poo haha!!
We have got a few financial niggles at the moment, so thats probably not helping. I think its just one of them things!
Like you said i miss my oh when he @ work etc then end up getting into a stupid row when we r together, its annoying!
We do try to laugh it off afterwards and making up is good!
You sound like a really strong couple, i wouldn't worry yourself (hard said than done, i know!) Have u spoken to ur oh about it?
xxx
Anyway- i have talked to him about this on a number of occasions and he says he really doesnt mean to snap at me over silly things but he just gets wound up easily so i think it is a combination of things.
That is a great saying "an argument a day keeps the divorce away!!!" I love it!
I just hope that we r going though a patch and it passes when our money/car situation gets sorted out. Its a good idea to leave him with LO for a while too as he may realise then that is a nice treat to leave the washing AND drying up to somebody else after doing it 24/bloody 7!!
Hannah xx
in the end i said if you can say anythging nice then dont speak to me so he started txting i ignored it as much as pos but then he txt and said when dinner ewot ya cooking and is that the same minging top you wore for bed last nite he goes around slamming doors and last night he took his mood out on our 4 year old she wouldnt go to bed so he dragged her by her arm up stairs she was screaming her head off any way enough about my sad existence of a life i think you can pull through if you both want to they reckon arguing is healthy good luck xx
Maybe its just Male PMT? Im sure it exists- and if im right- men will get it once a week because well, men always get a lot things worse dont they??!!!! The poor sods (they have it so hard!)
Hannah xx
The other big thing is getting married. I realy want to set a date and he says he cant wait to marry me, but typical man unless its happening tomorrow he doesnt want to think about it- he'd lov to marry me tomorrow but weddings take planning. Im so upset now so i wont write anymore...thanks for listening girls xxx
it is good to know im not the only one going through the stresses of a HUGE change in a relationship (i could have written ur post Vicky- and widge, there were a lot of similarities there too )and not seeing my partner because i think it makes u feel like that- i sit at home wondering when im gunna see him again and feel so lonlel and then i get so excited when i see him and we have a right laugh and then suddenly BOOM- We are arguing before i know it over something so ridiculous.
Im feeling really shit right now coz after our arguement this morning i havn't heard from him and dont really want to which makes me even sadder plus im avoiding my mum after she pissed me off at the weekend so i just want to cry and cry. I actually didnt want to put Shayla to bed tonight because i was scared of feeling so alone.
I hate that he is away all the time and the worst part of it is that he works 40miles away all week with my Dad (he is a kitchen/bathroom fitter) so he sees my Dad every week day and i only see him once/twice every couple of months.
Im sorry to keep moaning but im feeling so depressed and just want somebody to talk to. It would be so nice right now if all my friends weren't too busy with their Full time jobs/OH's to awknowledge me and maybe come round for a chat its not askin for much is it?
Does anybody else feel like people forget about u when u have a baby? All ur single friends or those who dont have kids i mean
I should have called this thread "come and be dpressed with me!" oh dear i better go coz im gunna cry big stylee if i dont
Hannah xx
Nowadays 80% of women have decided against marriage. They have realised that for the sake of 4oz of sausage its just not worth marrying the whole fucking pig!!!!
How funny!?
Anyway- if he asks for Sex tell him that when he treats u with more respect u will give him some but until then he can go without. Us Girlies deserve more respect for all we do and and we shouldn't have to put up with their crap all the time we have enough of our own and they co created the baby too so they should do more to help and stop gettin shitty about it! excuse my mouth....
Hannah xx
I have been with oh for 9 years and married for 3, we work together aswell, so the arguments are great and as i am so down at the mo i take it all out on him (not that he doesn't sometimes deserve it).
Xmas Eve nearly saw us split up with an argument that spiraled out of control started by me asking him to look after lo so i could have a lie in, why are the biggest arguments over such crappy little things?
We have good days and bad days and he feels very hard done by on the sex front at the moment but as i am working weekday mornings and trying to cope with a 25 week old (i have given up on housework for now) when i go to bed i just want to relax and go to sleep plus after a c section i am still waiting for the wobbly overhang to receed!
Well, me an OH did have a chat last night but still not sure how much of it went it in. Anyway- feeling a bit more positive about rest of the week as im going out today with LO. Hopefully this weekend will be arguement free xx
how are you feeling? i went out last night to my friends house and i talked to her about the wedding and how ian just doesnt seem interested and she said her and her oh always argue about that and their getting married in june so that made me feel better. i hate arguing so much and really its just bickering but it does my head in. we never used to argue at all ever so i suppose now cos its happening i feel more like its all the time. ive decided to book a meal for valentines weekend to show him that i love him so hopefully he'll realise. i dont want to be in an unhappy relationship- and its not like this all the time- but this bickering is getting me down. this may sound gay but i miss him so much when he's at wk- even though i dont stay at home all the time i see friends occasionally or go over to my mum and dads i actually miss my oh, he's so funny and absolutely gorgrous and such a good dad i miss being a family. OMG just as im typing this he just text me saying 'hello my special poorly sick boo boo, i hope your haveing a rest and know how much i miss you when im at work...i love you all the world xxx xxx xxx' im bloody crying now, ah thats made my day, sad isnt it that a text can make you feel like this x