WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM!!!!

karla1984 · Sep 30, 2007 8:02PM

Im so so so pissed off my oh is driving me mad. We had sex about a week ago and since then i have caught a really bad cold which i still have really bad and im trying to look after our daughter who is teething so is waking several times during the night which im having to get up to. I feel like crap and he has the nerve to have a go at me cause i dont want sex!!!!! i have no energy whats so having. he says we should just have a friend relationship cause we r not having sex. WE ONLY DID IT A WEEK AGO for fuck sake and i have a cold and looking after lo 24 7, i just want to screammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Thanks 4 letting me rant.

evab1 · Sep 29, 2007 4:13PM

Poor you. Just ignore his ignorance. He should definitely be more understanding. Hope you feel better soon x

MLT · Sep 29, 2007 4:15PM

Good ranting Karla!!!!
Why can't he just be sympathetic - get you a nice bar of choc, look after LO for a while so you can have a bath and glass of wine, and go and do some man-DIY (if you know what i mean!!) to get rid of his urges??? Would it help if you suggested that? (Somehow i think the answer will be no!)
He'll just have to get over it cos right now you need to look after yourself and LO.
Take care

)

kirst3 · Sep 29, 2007 4:18PM

omg,hun men can be shits sometimes, tell him to sit on his hand for an hour and then use it! or point him in the direction of los cot when she wakes in the night and then c if he fancies swingin from the lights. xx

karla1984 · Sep 29, 2007 4:21PM

If i were to suggest him do some man DIY(if u know what i mean) he will just turn around and say thats why i have a wife. he says he doesnt like doing it himself. GIT!!!!!! He is so selfish but i think that goes for all guys.

Smithya85 · Sep 29, 2007 4:24PM

He's lucky its only been a week!! If he's still got the energy to have sex maybe he should do more of a share of looking after your baby to allow you to recover for cold and be less knackered in general and then you would have more energy to oblige!

MLT · Sep 29, 2007 4:24PM

Hmmmmmm. Don't think i can say anything about his "that's why i have a wife" comment without being very rude and possibly hurting your feelings.
So, i just hope he grows up a bit very soon for your sake. You deserve a medal at the mo x

karla1984 · Sep 29, 2007 4:31PM

Thank u xxxx i hate having a cold so so much but i just think of all the people out there that have it so much worse than i do and really when i think about it i just have a cold and i really shouldnt moan. it just takes it out of u so much. I am going to have a nice mint areo and then a warm milky drink which hopefully will make me sleep x

woodssarah · Sep 29, 2007 4:34PM

Tell him you feel shit and if he made an effort to help with lo and made you feel special then you might feel like sex

karla1984 · Sep 29, 2007 4:37PM

with most men it tends to go in one ear and out the other unless its something they wanna hear!!!

MLT · Sep 29, 2007 4:37PM

Good comment Woodssarah! I was just wondering what century your OH thinks he is living in Karla? Sorry, that's not helping you really. I'm liking the mint aero idea! I've just eaten way too many biscuits...

karla1984 · Sep 29, 2007 4:49PM

i have no idea what century he is living in what i do know is he is living in a fantasy world!!! my poor little irls teeth r taking so long to come through. i just dont know what to do to help her. i love borbon biscuits cant get enough of them

sarahaston29 · Sep 29, 2007 7:12PM

hi ya i so know how you feel my oh is always saying i dont love him cos we dont have sex but as like you im so tired cos my lo is waking 3/4 times a nite and i have two other kids and a house to look after he is doing my nut in help is all i say he had some u know wot from me pleasing him but the following nite he was still saying we never get close any more so i said you try having no sleep at nite and see how much energy you have biut they dont seem to care .

no3bump · Sep 29, 2007 8:46PM

Hi Karla, tell him to get a bloody life and if he gets up to your little girl for 2 or 3 nights in a row and then fancys a run around the bedroom then you will be happy to oblige! I would doubt he would after 3 nights of broken or no sleep! My hubby is moaning cause we havnt had sex in 3 weeks but im 35+2 and so big and uncomfortable i think he done well to get it regular for as long as he did and ive told him so!
Men are insensitive gits when it comes to them not getting what they want!

karla1984 · Sep 30, 2007 5:23AM

This morning Aimee had woken up so i fed her and she was playing on the bed and he kept trying it on and i was like what the hell r u doing? Aimee is wide awake needing attention i cant just drop everything to have sex with u. And he turn around and said what a perfect sunday morning ruined. and then went on to start calling me frigid (sorry cant spell) yeah coz that is really going to get me in the mood. He always picks the wrong moments and wonders why i say no, and the way he goes about it. Its like first thing in the morning we have just woken up and instead of kissing me and saying morning babe how did u sleep...... oh no its straight to the boob groaping me it just makes me feel cheap and when i tell him this he just switches off gets in a bad child like mood and tells me to shut up. I sometimes think to myself how much i would like to just be in my own little house with him not around.

Matthew1978 · Sep 30, 2007 10:54AM

Hi All reading this page. I am Karla's Husband and thought I should put my side of the argument forward. Karla's Version missed out a lot of the background details. I am sure this will add further tension between Karla and myself but I have had enough of people saying that I am selfish. We have had sex approx 7 times since Karla became pregnant. (I am sure Karla will say it is a lot more but it has been very infrequent whatever the amount of times) Aimee our beautiful daughter is now nearly 7 months so that shows who how littLE intamacey there is between us since karla became pregnant. As soon as Karla became prenant she went off sex straight away which was probably dues to some bleeding at 6 weeks into the pregnancy. I think we attempted sex one or twice during her pregnacy. I live in Portsmouth but work in Guildford as a sales manager which means leaving the house at 6.45am and getting home most nights 6.30pm. I travel about 150 miles a day on average and work Saturday mornings so that we have a confortable life style as Karla is no longer employeed full time. I am happy about this because I want Aimee brought up by her mum and dad not someone at a nursery. I do feel pressure now as the main bread winner for the household. Having a child is a lot harder than either of us imagined but very much worth it. Our relationship as husband and wife is virtually non existant. What little time i get with Karla during the evenings during the week is usually having dinner and crashing out once Aimee is asleep. On weekends it is all about me looking after household duties such as cleaning, cutting the garden and usual things. I feel as if all I do is work, tidy up after Karla and Aimee and Sleep. When we do have sex its is great to be close again and all I want to do is repeat the experience before I fall back into the same old routine of work, cleaning and sleep. Karla is a fantastic mum. She is brillant with Aimee but I feel left out now. I feel as though I have been used for my sperm and now I am not needed anymore as a husband. Karla and I met throught the internet and I did state that I have a high sex drive. She tells me to go and sort myself out if I get horny but I ditest wanking and never thought I would have to after getting married unless there were unusual circumstance. I could go on and on but basically I am frustrated and tired. We have a lot of issues to sort out as well - I appreciate any helpful comments please

[Modified by: Matthew1978 on September 30, 2007 04:19 PM]

Matthew1978 · Sep 30, 2007 10:59AM

I did not straight for her boobs either this morning. I rubbed her legs nicely and said good morning!

scubavic · Sep 30, 2007 11:18AM

Matthew i think you need to talk. hubby and i were going through the same thing he said i showed him no affection and that he was feeling unloved..Our little boy took a long time to concieve and yes we had sex a lot of time during this period and i do admit some of the time the sex ment nothing to me it was the need to get pregnant. Hubby has often said that i used him during this period and it bloody hurts to hear that from the man you love..
It sounds like you are working very hard, there is nothing wrong with a child attending nursery i agree in an ideal world a stay at home mum is what most of us would want to be but in todays society this is not always what happens.
Sit and talk to your wife and share your feelings. Can you get a babysitter time out to be a couple and not just mum and dad even though your baby is loved so much do not forget that your relationship needs love and attention too...
If you are too tierd for sex a cuddle and kiss can show affection leave the garden the house and have a lazy day we have one lazy Sunday a month the house is left sometimes we spend the day in our lounge wear the kids do not get dressed we spend the day playing games, watching a film and spending quality time as a family, dinner is whatever we fancy usually a takeaway...
I hope you can sort this out

Karla hope youfeel better soon and that you can sort this out with your oh...

Matthew1978 · Sep 30, 2007 11:27AM

(Karla Now Typing) May i just say that matt has made it sound like he does all the house work which is far from true i do the house work all week but he feels like it is not up to his standard and therefore it means i havent done the house work. He wants to live in a show home which drives me mad. I have also said that i dont want him working saturdays and i would go and work a saturday each week so he can spend time with Aimee, plus i would enjoy it too. He has made it sound like he does everything. And as for the sex he nags me all the time and he has taking the fun out of sex completely.

scubavic · Sep 30, 2007 12:22PM

Karla how about a job that fits around your lo i sell usborne books at home gives me and lo chance to visit loads of playgroups and earns a bit of money to stick in the pot..
I would love to live in a show home it is just not possible with children i am afraid....
He needs to stop nagging and then maybe sex may be more spontanious (sp)...

hayley_l · Sep 30, 2007 12:29PM

Hi i really think you two need to set aside some time for the 2 of you whilst your lo is in bed, talk, cuddle and kiss but matthew you need to realise that it doesnt always have to lead to sex, me and hubby have had much the same probs since i became pregnant (isaac is now almost 6 months) it is difficult because obviously my body has changed and i just dont feel sexy any more, i feel like i cook, clean and look after children all day long day in day out (which i love by the way) but i do feel that sometimes men think we sit in front of daytime tv all day and dont realise just how hard and exhausting (not to mention sometimes monotonous) it can be. My hubby tells me he loves me more now and we are getting there but it will take time and believe me moaning how little you get it does nothing to make your oh feel like doing it any more. Someone once told me that "men need sex to feel loved but women need to feel loved to want sex" i find this very true. Good luck to both of you and try to take time out to appreciate each others point of view. Hayley x

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM!!!!

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