Does anyone NOT give their children treats?

Hi all

I'm talking naughty food treats!

I've been overweight since my Dad left at around 10yrs old and I turned to food for comfort. I still eat now for comfort and when I'm stressed or upset or angry.

I am desperate for my child not to go through school being bullied, the opposite sex paying no interest, not enjoying sports, etc...

For me, I can think the only way to avoid this happening is just NOT give my children any treats, no chocolate; no mcdonald's etc. and just ensure as much as I possibly can they have an incredibly healthy diet.

What do you think? Is it totally wrong of a parent to deny these things? Has anyone felt like me and does it work ok for you?

I suppose I think if they don't get a taste for these things, they won't enjoy them and want more!

I would hate my child to 'go without' but I can't bear the thought of my baby girl or boy growing up with the same problems I had :cry:

Nearly 5 weeks til my due date so I am thinking a lot more about being a good Mummy these days!

Joo xxx


  • hi joo ...this is just my opinion but i think if u totally withold nice food e.g crisps chocolate mc donalds then u will set ureself up for a child who will crave and binge on these foods when they are older ....i let jack have treats ...he has some chocolate every day just a little bit e.g a milky bar he has had a macdonalds maybe once a month ,jack is not in the slightest bit chubby and we do an awful lot of excersize he walks everywhere ,i think if u r truly worried about your little one become big then do let him/her have treats BUT when he/she is old enough to understand make sure they do excersize lots but do not make an issue of food or weight from a young age as i feel this sometimes makes things worse in the long wrong and children will become obsessed with food......hope this makes sense xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • IMO it's not about the foods they eat (as long as the majority of their diet is good), it's about how much of it there is...I don't agree with parents forcing kids to clear their plates as it upsets the natural rhythm of when they feel full....Personally im going down the road of letting Gabe have what he wants and not making an issue out of food. I remember once all he ate was biscuits and yogurt and I just thought what the hell, as long as he's eating something. Then once he refused his tea cos he wanted to eat a pear instead. They sure know what they want!!!
    I don't agree with food being 'treats' either, food is food, to sustain you, not to treat you!
  • I think it's all about a healthy balanced lifestyle - a little bit of what you like does you no harm IF you have the lifestyle to carry it off - i was very active and sporty as a child and had little treats of chocolate and puddings etc but was never overweight - it was only once i stopped doing so much sport and discovered socialising at about 16 that i put weight on. I'm more concerned about making sure Oscar has a healthy active lifestyle, not just sat in front of the telly, than how much of what he puts in his mouth. If he does have treats and chocolate i won't be concerned about him gaining the wrong kind of weight that way x
  • aaaw thanks ladies for making me feel a bit better and giving me a little more perspective. You're totally right, its not just about diet, its about the exercise too and with my hubby by my side, he won't allow our kids to NOT do any exercise, fun sport things etc. etc. as he ADORES all sports and can't wait to do those things with our children.

    All of your points totally make sense to me and make things much clearer in my head than they were.

    Thank you again all so very much!

  • I agree with the others, witholding treats completely just makes children crave them.

    However I do make sure that when Neve gets something nice its only when she is in a normal mood and never to make her feel better about anything or as comfort. If she falls over she gets a cuddle not a treat. I also hate the plate clearing rule - we had it as children and I can see no good reason for it.
  • hey,

    I personally think it's better to teach your child about different foods, why we need certain foods, why we should have less of others etc. I do think that you could cause a problem by denying 'junk' foods as children often want things they cant have!

    I agree with Tiger Lily about not making children clear thier plates, I personally know when i'm full so will stop eating and we need to make sure we allow our children to do the same.
  • I agree with the others that treats are fine as long as their diet is healthy overall. For me one thing that will be really important is to teach my lo how tasty healthy things are, like making fruit salads and smoothies, or veg with dips. As a child, I sort of got the impression that chocolate, crisps etc were the only things that really tasted nice, and you just ate the other stuff because you had to. I'm determined to change my own behaviour as much as I can so that for everyday snacks it becomes more automatic to reach for fruit etc.

    And I also agree that exercise is really important, I want my lo to be enthusiastic about sports, I was always the geeky kid who was picked last in PE because I just had no confidence in sports etc. I so don't want lo to experience that as she grows up.
  • Hi Joo, gosh you must be so excited now, not long left at all.

    I personally think it is so important not to make a massive issue about food, like tiger lilly said as long as they are eating something i think that's great. I am really trying to give jack a healthy diet but for example he won't eat home cooked food at the moment (probably my cooking - lol) - to start with i found this a massive issue and thought i was a bad mum for giving him the jars all the time but at least he's eating.

    I have had an issue with my weight for as long as i can remember and really ought to lose about 4/5 stone, my sister on the other hand (who is 10 years younger than me) is now anorexic, and i can honestly say i think that is worse, it is absolutely awful to see someone so scared of eating even the slightest treat. I definitely think a bit of a treat in moderation is absolutely fine and like everyone else said, lots of exercise, running about and playing games. I am definitely never going to go on about dieting and losing weight around Jack because i think people having a constant emphasis on what people weigh is so bad. x x
  • Hi Joo,
    I agree with what everyone else has said, it's all about balance, I really do believe that if you 'deprive' your child of sweets etc then when they have some freedom they will want them all the more! I was friends with a girl when I was about 9/10 who wasn't allowed any sweets at home, or fizzy drinks, so when we went anywhere she went crazy on them! She even used to buy sweets herself and hide them under her pillow....what a terrible way to be!!
    My step daughter is really short, really overweight and really unhappy, unfortunately we don't have her and her sister to stay with us all the time, so her diet is controlled by her mother - they eat junk all the time and find our homemade meals almost inedible. She eats sweets all the time - all the worst fizzy crappy ones. She's always got mouth ulcers, picks up every bug going and is a moody little sh*t......My son is just 11, skinny as a rake, always on the go - he eats everything, loves pasta, cous cous, veg, fruit, chips, burgers, fish; pretty much anything and everything - I only ever deny him the really rubbish sweets, those horrible brain lickers and sour sprays and steer him towards a bag of buttons, or sugar free gum.
    It's always hard work trying to do the best for your children, I think you get on better if you try and see the bigger picture and chill out as much as you can - like Tigerlily!! No phase they go through lasts forever. It sounds like your little one will be very loved and very well cared for and this will go a long way towards a confident and happy child.
    Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xxx
    p.s. are you planning to bf? Apparently this helps prevent childhood obesity as the baby doesn't take in loads of hard to disgest calories they don't need, so they are getting a good start of just having what they need and no more - if that makes sense? Probably a load of rubbish - but looking at my two step daughters compared to my son and daughter there might be some truth in it!! Who knows?? x
  • p.s. are you planning to bf? Apparently this helps prevent childhood obesity as the baby doesn't take in loads of hard to disgest calories they don't need, so they are getting a good start of just having what they need and no more - if that makes sense? Probably a load of rubbish - but looking at my two step daughters compared to my son and daughter there might be some truth in it!! Who knows?? x

    I ff my lo and she's as skinny as anything! Think it's also to do with genetics as well as what you give them. I tried to bf but she would not latch on no matter what we tried.

    I believe everything in moderation. Charlotte may have a biccie as a snack but that doesn't really worry me. However I don't give her much choccie. Like some of the other mums said if you deprive someone of something they might crave it later on.

    When Charlotte is old enough and before she starts school (where most bad habit are picked up I think) I will go through foods with her and hopefully get het to help me cook with fresh foods. Can always remember Jamie Oliver's School Dinners and the kids not knowing what some fruit & veg were!!
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