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Twin died at birth
Can anyone help me try to make some sense of this, my best friend went into natural labor the other day, she was expecting twins, has had a text book pregnancy and done everything she was told to do, after a long labour she finally gave birth to the first baby, his heart beat had been strong right up to the moment he was born, unfortunately he just never took a breath, they tried desperately to get him to breath but couldnt manage it, in the mean time she had to carry on pushing to get the other baby out, who was eventually pulled out with forceps but is a fit healthy baby boy.
I went to see her yesterday and she seems to be coping amazingly well and has taken to her surviving son brilliantly, but I cannot hold myself together, we have been best friends for 25 years and we have waited for this day for years when we both marry and have children, I have a 2 year old and am now 14 weeks pregnant.
There was no explaination for his death, how do you deal with it, Im feeling so much pain for my friend, but know I need to keep it together to help her, and I will in her presence
I went to see her yesterday and she seems to be coping amazingly well and has taken to her surviving son brilliantly, but I cannot hold myself together, we have been best friends for 25 years and we have waited for this day for years when we both marry and have children, I have a 2 year old and am now 14 weeks pregnant.
There was no explaination for his death, how do you deal with it, Im feeling so much pain for my friend, but know I need to keep it together to help her, and I will in her presence
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All you can do is be there for her, help her get through each day at a time and talk with her about the baby she lost.
My friends son, Jake, died 3yrs ago at the end of this month and she gets comfort from saying his name and not letting him be forgotton. (they've formed a charity in his name...campaigning for better maternity units etc - www.keephospitalsopen.co.uk / www.jakescharity.co.uk).
You should also have a look on the SANDS website and when your friend is strong enough direct her there too - as it is a fantastic organisation and they have support groups etc (www.sands.co.uk).
But also dont feel like you have to always be strong for your friend...its ok to cry with her.
Its an awful awful thing for everybody effected, it will also be hard for you being pregnant too. Help your friend deal with one day at a time, but dont bottle up your feelings with your friend...grieve with her.
Happy to talk more if I can help in any way.
Best wishes
xx