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My baby boy
Hi all
I don't really know what to say apart from my love to you all.
I lost my baby by 8 weeks ago.
He was born 13 weeks premature weighing 1lb 15oz but he fought through. He came home after been in hospital for 13 weeks. I was absolutely over the moon.
He came home on oxygen but was a strong little fighter.
After been home for 6 weeks I had to take him back to the hospital after he wasn't feeding and he was vomiting blood. After taking him to the hospital, they said it was an early start to a viral infection and to keep an eye on him.
They discharged him the same day and when the health visitor visited him 2 days later she re-admitted him after he had lost 6oz. Only weighing 6lbs at this point it was vital that he didn't lose any more weight.
After being back in hospital for a week I was informed that he wasn't strong enough to fight it and that we would have to turn his life support off.
He managed to fight through for 48 hours but then he said goodbye!
As you all know, it doesn't feel any easier. I have not slept for weeks and as much as I'm trying to stop myself going down this path, I have started to turn to drink.
I just feel so angry at the hospital for not doing more!!
I don't really know what to say apart from my love to you all.
I lost my baby by 8 weeks ago.
He was born 13 weeks premature weighing 1lb 15oz but he fought through. He came home after been in hospital for 13 weeks. I was absolutely over the moon.
He came home on oxygen but was a strong little fighter.
After been home for 6 weeks I had to take him back to the hospital after he wasn't feeding and he was vomiting blood. After taking him to the hospital, they said it was an early start to a viral infection and to keep an eye on him.
They discharged him the same day and when the health visitor visited him 2 days later she re-admitted him after he had lost 6oz. Only weighing 6lbs at this point it was vital that he didn't lose any more weight.
After being back in hospital for a week I was informed that he wasn't strong enough to fight it and that we would have to turn his life support off.
He managed to fight through for 48 hours but then he said goodbye!
As you all know, it doesn't feel any easier. I have not slept for weeks and as much as I'm trying to stop myself going down this path, I have started to turn to drink.
I just feel so angry at the hospital for not doing more!!
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Replies
I lost my baby girl at 20weeks in the womb, she was born sleeping in sep '09. I can only imagine how it must be for you to have brought your baby home and then to go through such pain.
Give yourself time, there is no way you would be back to full strength in such a short space of time. I found being on here and talking with others who really understood helped me a lot and I really hope it can help you too.
Please try to stay away from the drinking, the hospital should have a grievance counsellor and maybe you could speak with them to help ease the pain and also maybe they could help you with your issues with the hospital to get some answers for any questions you have about their dealings with you and your son.
I know it doesn't feel like it now but one day you will be able to breathe again, not as easily and not without a hint of sadness but you will be able to control it and find things to smile at. There have been a lot of awful stories on this board and a lot of hope too. Take care of yourself and please give yourself time x
if u need to talk please do, there are lots of wonderful ladies on here, all who have lost their perfect babies at various stages, they have been such a strength to me.
xxx
We had a glimmer of hope whilst i was in hospital and that destroyed us when we couldnt help her in the end - it must be so difficult to have gone through what you did, have the joy of bringing your baby home only to have him taken from you so cruelly.
i am begining to find talking to people that you dont know helps - its been too difficult for me to deal with my friends and families grief as well as my own. my husband has been the only one i can share our loss with fully .... the day of the funeral i sat on the floor just screaming - all the hurt and anger came out (no wonder our neighbours havent spoken to us since!)and i have to sleep with a light on at night and take sleeping tablets (my husband makes sure i fall asleep first which helps - otherwise i replay everything over and over in my mind until i am in such a state.
I did drink one night after leaving hospital. i hoped it would have a calming effect but it did the opposite - the things in my mind scared me and he decided not to have alcohol in the house - it only makes the suffering worse.
i must say i am still in a terrible state - very up and down but hoping that things will get easier.
So so sorry for your loss x