Loss of a baby at 20 weeks

devaton3 · Nov 4, 2011 2:47PM

I was just told today at my 20 week scan that my much longed for baby no longer had a heartbeat, the heart could possibly have stopped beating at around 18 weeks.

I was shocked to find out that on Saturday I would need to be induced (I suppose I really should have realised, how else was the baby going to be delivered, but I wasnt really thinking ahead like that)

When they mentioned "epidural" it really hit home that this was going to be a "real" birth.. My heads all over the place and I was being naive by thinking that I wouldn't really need pain relief as the baby would be so small.

Can anyone please let me know what kind of experience I am in for..

I have given birth before to a gorgeous little girl so I know what a natural birth feels like, I just want to be prepared for what to expect this time around.

Would I really need an epidural?

Thank you to anyone taking the time to read/answer this.

hopefulfor2nd · Mar 10, 2011 12:01PM

Oh hun, I'm so sorry to hear this ((hugs)). I've only had early miscarriages so not had to go through this but I didn't want to read and run. I've been in the ttc after m/c forums, maybe there might be ladies there who've been through something similar and could help?

xxxxxx

devaton3 · Mar 10, 2011 12:12PM

Thankyou very much, I will take a look at they forums. xxx

macdoona · Mar 13, 2011 6:16AM

Hi hun, So sorry for your loss. I lost Patrick at 18+1 weeks and had to be induced too.

I guess everyone is different but for me i found the physical pain no problem at all.

I had the Tablet on the Saturday morning and was told if nothing happened within 48 hours to go back for more tablets. on the Monday morning i felt a slight pop when i stud up and thought my waters had gone but it wasn't i was bleeding very heavy so ended up having to call an ambulance and about 15 minslater had my first contraction that wasn;t anything big, I then had another 3 or 4 which were very manageable, when i got to hospital they were conderend aabout the amount of blood so were about to canulate me but i had another contraction and could feel Patrick coming, it didn't hurt as he was so small and was born with my membranes in tact. I didn't need pain releif as was all so fast but was told it was there if i needed it.

Afterwards the mw checked him over and took some photos for us to look at before we made a decision as to seeing him. Which we did, we also had him blessed and a little naming service. I would deffinatly get pics even i you can't bring yourself to see him in person. We were also able to have hand and foot prints done.

Just take things slow and i ended up writing a few things down that i wanted to ask.

Please inbox me if you need to talk xxx

redhead85 · Mar 13, 2011 6:27AM

G/C from DIN. My deepest sympathies to both of you ladies. I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling. My thoughts are with you and your beautiful angels.

xxxx

Marty1974 · Nov 4, 2011 2:47PM

Hi ladies

Me and my wife are goin through the same. We were told at 19 weeks that our baby had passed away and were also amazed that we had to give birth to him. Not that we knew the sex at the time. As we had an emergency caesarean the first time it was all new to us, the midwife was brilliant she helped my wife no end. Making sure she was relaxed, the only time it became really destresing was when he was comin out and we were advised not to see him as his body was a little swelled.

But the hosp was brilliant we got some foot and hand prints and had a little cremation yesterday. We also called him Patrick and we are scattering his ashes in the baby garden by were we live. It is an awful thing to go through when there is nothin joyful at the end of it. I'm tryin to make sure my wife looks at the positives and that it has happened for a reason. He has 3 of his grand parents to look after him. Even though we didn't have a chance to play with him, he is always in our thoughts.

Loss of a baby at 20 weeks

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