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Only just noticed this topic...Long post!

Hi everyone. Firstly can I say how sorry I am to hear of all your losses. It's not until you suffer from one yourself that you realise how many other people have also suffered a loss.
After 2 m/c's I found out I was pregnant for the 3rd time in Jul 07. I was over the moon but also very nervous. An early scan showed a heartbeat and I was thrilled. My 12 wk scan relieved identical twins!! Quite a shock to me and dh but a very welcome and happy shock. Id made it to 12 wks and had very good news, so I started to relax although no-one was able to buy anything as I just wanted to get to 20 wks. My 20 wk scan showed I was carrying 2 girls, just what I wanted. From then on I was booked to have fortnightly scans to keep an eye on all the risks of carrying id twins. However my world came crashing down when in Dec 07 at 23 wks pregnant I went into labour. I woke in the early hours to pain that was taking my breath away. I called the hospital who laughed(!) and told me not to be so silly, "pop" 2 paracetamol and go back to bed, which is exactly what I tried to do. However a few hours later it hadnt gone and I went to the hospital. There they found I was 7cm dilated and too far gone to stop the labour from progressing. I gave birth to 2 gorgeous girls. Grace was born 1st weighing 1lb 4ozs, she showed signs of life and was whisked to nicu. Lucy came 30 mins later weighing 1lb 1oz. Her heart continued to beat for 45 mins until she passed away. Grace went on to survive 10 wks in nicu, battling against the odds and gaining weight. Even the consultants were sure she was going to be a little miracle. However in Feb 08 she made the decision to join her sister. Her post mortem showed no cause of death, which is still hard to take in. I wouldnt wish this experience on my worse enemy. It was the hardest time of my life and will never ever leave me. After we buried Grace me and dh went on holiday to escape, there we discussed our future and what we were going to do. We both decided that there was never going to be a right time to try again, so if it happened it happened. Well it happened and in April 08 I found out I was pregnant again. An early scan showed no fetal pole and I was told I had m/c'd again, I returned the following week to double check and be booked for a d&c when they found a heartbeat!!!
The next 30 wks were so so so hard. Every twinge, lack of movement etc and my stomach would fall out of my arse. I was attending a breavement group throughout the pregnancy, this was so good at helping me deal with Grace and Lucy's loss but it played havoc with my pregnany as I then heard and found out about everyone elses loss and added their experiences to my never ending list of worries.
It all ended well when on 17 Dec 08 I gave birth to a healthy baby girl called Ruby.
It's still hard and the pain of Grace and Lucy is still there every day. I see so much of my girls in Ruby and again that regulary brings me to tears. Ruby will know all about her big sisters, she comes with us when we visit them every week.
I want to wish you all the best of luck with falling pregnant again. Any q's you have just ask


  • my eyes are filled with so sorry for loss of your baby is so unfair some times and you never ever think its going to happen to you like you said its only when you actually go through it your self that you begin to open your eyes to it all and find out that it has happened to so many others to.
    Congratulations on the birth of baby Ruby you must be so proud of her....i bet each moment is so special!!!
    i lost my baby girl Daisy on christmas 08 and like you me and oh done lots of talking and decided that we would ttc again so fingers crossed it wont take long.
    Thinking of you take care kat xx
  • I remember you on our baby due forum.... we were all willing Grace on. We knew Lucy had grown her wings but we had no update on Grace and beleve me when I say you had all the mums on the forum praying that she pulled through. We so hoped that no news was good news. I noticed your post to say your were pregnant and I was saddened to read that Grace had joined her sister. How you coped with that is beyond me and I can only say that you and your OH must be very strong and loving people.
    I was thrilled when you went on to have Ruby. Her 2 sisters must have been looking over her and protecting you both.
    I wish you all the best and enjoy every seocod with your little girl...

    dee xxx
  • Just to say i think you are so very strong and that i know that Grace and Lucy will be with you and looking over Ruby, the sky has two brighter stars now.

  • Hi this is my 1st time on here , i wanted to tell you about my baby boy charlie , he was my 3rd baby and after having 2 easy births i was going to have charlie ant home.
    i went into labour on the 23rd of aug at 3am and by 644am i was being told by my husband that our darling boy had died i was rushed in for an emergency c section because his heart had stopped beating and they put me to sleep they worked on him for 45 mins but he just coulnt fight it, they said he had got into distress and swalloed maconium and it over powered him, i'm empty, numb deverstated lost so heartbroken i feel like i'm going to brake all that keeps me going is my wonderful husband who wihtout i woulnt cope and my 2 boys, but i feel like half of me has did with my baby boy x
  • Hugs to all you other ladies...we are not alone! xxxx

    Tuppence, your story was similar to my own. Your story gives me hope for the future x

    Charli's Angel, it will get easier with time. My loss was the 6th of August. Its still raw but every day life gets a little better. I'm sorry for your loss x
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