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how can it be harder?
Oh girls im really struggling. made dh sandwiches this morning for his lunch and its the first time that he has gone back to work and it upset me so much, its something i did everyday and now it just seems as if life is carrying on and that Ted is already part of our past and he isnt even buried yet. I dont know if that makes any sense im just so scared he is going to be forgotten. Someone said to me yesterday well at least he was only a baby when he died, how could they say that, is that what people think?
Ive found today at least as hard as the day he went, how can that be? I just dont know how im gonna get through the funeral? Im sorry this is such a self absorbed post, I just dont know what to do, im trying so hard to gain strength from the dignity you all have shown.
Ted mummy misses you so much I love you
Ive found today at least as hard as the day he went, how can that be? I just dont know how im gonna get through the funeral? Im sorry this is such a self absorbed post, I just dont know what to do, im trying so hard to gain strength from the dignity you all have shown.
Ted mummy misses you so much I love you
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You have every right to be self absorbed!! You've lost your son, of course you don't think life should be carrying on as normal. That was insensitive of the person that said at least Teddy was only a baby, people don't always see that thats what makes it more difficult to understand, he should have been starting his life and growing bigger, we shouldn't have to bury our children, they should be burying us.
You will have days where everything seems so much worse, yesterday I was wreck, today I haven't shed a tear, but i'm sure i will later. Where the funeral is concerned you will get through it, you've come this far and you must be such a strong woman to have got this far. I was emotional at Ewan's funeral once i saw the coffin, and then i couldn't stop crying, but thats your right to do that, you're not to worry about everyone else around you. It was just my partner and I at Ewans funeral, although all our family wanted to come I knew I would want go into look after the visitors mode, so i decided it was better that it was just us. We needed to deal with our grief together.
Believe me, i'm sure you are just as dignified as any of us are or were, this is all still very fresh for you and you're entitled to feel the way you do. I know it doesn't feel like it yet, but it will get easier, although Teddy wil never be far from your thoughts, he will always know that he was loved.
I hope you feel a bit better soon, sending you a massive ((((((hug)))))) and lots of love.
Jackie xx
I went to a service at out hospital the year I lost my baby it was for people who had lost babies later in preganancy/during or very shortly after birth, some one read this poem out and I thought it might help you a bit, sending you huge hugs xxxxxxxxx
Are you feeling better now?
People often say
What a silly question
How could I feel that way
Is death simply an illness
From which our hearts will heal
Can your death become a dream
Instead of somenthing real
"at least you didnt have him long"
"No time to grow too fond"
Have they forgotton 9 long months
Enough time to form a bond
I felt your evey movement
I knew your nature too
Now all we have are memories
And they are all too few
You were part of our family
From the time we knew you were there
We picked your name, prepared your room
It's just too much to bear
Our time with you was stolen
Our dreams for you are gone
Now we must live without you
Although it seems so wrong
I sometimes feel you waking
Your hand held tight in mine
I see the way that you'd have looked
If you'd beed given time
But time was not an option
It ran so quickly out
We had to let you go my love
Our minds so full of doubt
We know we did the right thing
You'd had your time on earth
We had to say goodbye to you
So soon after your birth
Maybe our paths will cross again
I hope that is true
So till that time comes round again
We'll never forget you.
Loads of love and hugs to you all and sweet dreams Ted xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I just wanted to say it will get easier. Every day you grown stronger & I promise you will look back in a few weeks & realise how much progress you have made in a short time. It doesn't stop hurting, you just learn to deal with it. People mean well but I think when its a child they really don't know what to say. People say stupid, thoughtless, cruel things but you will find your way of dealing with them in time once you are a bit stronger. We all understand the pain you feel as we feel it too. If you need to let it out we are all here for you. Julie xxxx
It is hard and the funeral is a waiting nightmare, it will be hard and bring every emotion back to the surface but it also means you have put your little boy to rest and with that comes 'some' peace. Noone expects you to get over it, you never will....... But in time you will find you can hold him in your heart and still carry on for everyone else. It is so hard to continue with normality, especially in the first few weeks but we are all much stronger than we would ever think was possible. Take care and talk on here as much as you need to x
hayley that is a beautiful poem
I have had 2 mc's and know how hard that was for me and I will never forget my angels who were not meant to be. All you have been through with Teddys premature birth and bringing him home healthy - only to lose hime so suddenly - I can not begin to imagine how you are feeling. This person was callous in what they say.
I am still thinking of you every day - it must be terrible for you and your dh for him to have to go back to work and your little son not laid to rest.
You are definately not self absorbed - you are grieving and we are all hear to listen to whatever you want to say.
That is a lovely poem hayley xxx
I have had 2 mc's and know how hard that was for me and I will never forget my angels who were not meant to be. All you have been through with Teddys premature birth and bringing him home healthy - only to lose hime so suddenly - I can not begin to imagine how you are feeling. This person was callous in what they say.
I am still thinking of you every day - it must be terrible for you and your dh for him to have to go back to work and your little son not laid to rest.
You are definately not self absorbed - you are grieving and we are all hear to listen to whatever you want to say.
That is a lovely poem hayley xxx
thinking of you
sarah
xx
[Modified by: fall3n-ang3l on December 18, 2009 08:10 AM]
i hope you dont mind me posting, but youve been on my mind alot.
when our babies were in NICU, we longed so much to take them home with us. It seemed like the end of a very long journey. Once they were home, then they would be safe. So it doesnt make sense that Teddy was only home for such a short time. It seems so cruel, when he had fought so hard in NICU. I had followed his story with interest and could empathise as i was going through the same experience. i could understand the emotional roller coaster that you were on.
Isobelle came home just before xmas and has heart problems. I' m not sure if i could ever cope with losing her.
My heart truly goes out to you and your family. I hope you are getting the right support and you can find the strength to come to terms with losing Teddy. I know he will always be in your heart.
take care
maria x
Thinking of you xjx