Feeding outside the house?
How do you feed discreetly? I can be abit clumsy, especially if I'm nervous and can see me dropping the muslin and exposing myself to all and sundry!!
what do you do afterwards when baby has finished and you want to preserve dignity, how do you clip your bra back up, cover yourself up with one hand and continue to support your baby?
Does it all come with practise, is it safer to express milk and bottle feed untill more confident?
When visiting friends and family, does anyone ask if they mind them feeding their baby or is it expected you leave the room?
I've read the debate thread and don't want to start another, but if there is a feeding room am I expected to use it? I can still feed at a cafe table can't I? I walked past the one on my way to the loo at M&S the other day and the smell made me heave, there is no way I'd use it
Does anyone have any hangups about feeding in front of someone you know? Bit nervous about feeding in front of our dads, hubby's dad definitely, not sure why.... he doesn't give me the creeps or anything lol
Thanks, sorry for going on xxx
Replies
I think when you are visiting you need to play it by ear, it can't hurt to ask if people mind, or if they do, where you can sit to feed. I would be supprised if any one expects you to leave the room but I suppose in our own homes we have the right to make our own descisions.
The vast majority of cafe's are perfectly happy for you to feed there. Starbucks, Costa and Cafe Nero for instance are all quite happy to have nursing mothers on the premises. The only time I ever used the feeding rooms was at places like mothercare where it was the only place to sit down! Otherwise I like a big cup of coffee while I'm feeding. Personally I never got any nasty comments while feeding, did get the odd glare but I just glared back lol.
I was happy to feed in front of strangers but like you I did feel a bit funny about feeding in front of people I knew. The ones that worried me most were my male friends and mine/oh brothers. I think you just have to bite the bullet and get on with it.
Hope that helps put your mind at rest, it really does become second nature pretty quickly.
Kerry xx
At first it was tricky to keep covered up while feeding. When we were travelling and in airports I used a bulldog clip to hold the muslin on my shoulder. This worked really well. She couldn't pull it off and I could get myself sorted out underneath the muslin without worrying. I also had extra large muslins from Toys R Us.
I was a bit unsure about feeding in front of my father in law & brother in law. Now I make sure I'm well covered if they're around or go into another room. Charlotte is so nosey now that she struggles to feed if other people are around anyway so I often take her out the room so we can just get it done! I've been feeding her when male friends come round. I've just made sure I'm covered and it hasn't bothered me - I don't know if they even realised what I was doing.
Try practicing feeding covered up at home so you both get used to it. I also found it helped to feed her at baby groups. None of the other mums cared - most of them were doing it too. It made me realise that I'm not the only one who has to do this and helped me feel more confident.
Well done for wanting to breast feed! It is wonderful and really worth the difficulties that can sometimes come at the beginning - you just have to stick with it. When out in public, take your time and relax. Ask someone you're with to help you hold the muslin while you're getting sorted out. Try to sit off to the side in a cafe if you're worried about being the centre of attention.
Good luck! You can do it!
I felt a bit weird bfing in front on my brother, but he was so sweet, he made this big thing about NOT looking and was looking everywhere else, but he got used to it after a few days.
Are there any bfing groups where you are? You can practice covering and feeding LO safe in the knowledge that everyone around you is either doing it too, or just not bothered.
I've never used bfing rooms, Max has been bf in cafes, my mum's car (while parked!!), the council office, the gp's surgery, anywhere, really!
Its a bit of a fumble at first but you'll soon find your own way of doing it.
Try not to worry about what people are going to think - you should be proud that you're bfing your baby! Its a really great decision, and you'll be fine xxxxxxxxx
One of the benefits of bf is obviously not needing bottles and all the hassle of them so don't make things difficult for yourself and give a bottle whilst out - take the easy option and breastfeed!
I have never had any comments from anyone about breastfeeding whilst out so don't hide yourself away - the more people that do it the more normal it will become. You really won't end up showing much if anything and most people don't want to look anyway!
All the best and we are here to support you! xx
Once you've got the hang of feeding you will find it easier to feed discretely, some use something to cover them up, i just lifted my top (And it wasnt a nursing top either) and latched him on. Noone ever noticed.
The only people i was a bit unsure about feeding in from of were my step FIL and my uncle - but i asked them if they minded and they said 'god no, its the best thing you could do'
It did get to a point (about 6/7 months i think) where Ollie was really really nosey so we had to leave the room for that reason, but he soon worked out that he needed to feed, not look around
I've fed everywhere, on a bus, in cafes, at the docs, at hopsital (A&E), an a train, and even at the tarn at the top of a moutain (was great having it at the right temperature then i can tell you! no bottle/accessories to cart up there!) People just dont notice, and the ones that do just look (so glare right back
Yes it all comes with practice, ad it does get easier. The first 6-12 weeks are the toughest they could ever be, and you will need to be determined to succeed, but we will all be here to help you and give you advice if you want it.
(please try not to give lo an expressed bottle as the suckling reflex is different for a bottle than the breast so they *might* get confused -some do some dont.)
Hope everything goes well for you over the coming months.
xxxx
like everyone has said practise covering up at home.It does get easier.
I find wearing layered tops helps and blooming marvellous do some great ones. i wear a strappy vest top and then something over with deep v neck i pull up the vest top and feed baby through the v neck, this way my tummy and back are not exposed and no one has a clue what i am doing.
If i think of any other advice i will let yoy know
d xx