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fed up with breastfeeding!
Hi Ladies,
I have a little boy, Zachary, who will be 4 weeks on Monday and I'm really struggling with the breastfeeding. Consequently I'm feeding Zach with a mixture of b/f, ebm and formula. I naively thought that b/f would be easy, you just stick the baby to the breast and away we go! I've seen a b/f specialist and attended 2 b/f clinics but it's not getting any easier and it's getting me down. In fact it's spoilt the first four weeks of my son's life!
I think part of the problem is that I don't seem to be producing much milk. Does anyone know the average amount produced when expressing? I get about 120ml from 20 minutes of expressing, but read on one of the forums that one lady was producing that in 5 minutes. Zach also seems hungry at the end of every feed, even though I can be b/f him for 1 hour, 1 hour and a quarter, 1 hour and a half, so been topping him up with a bottle afterwards! The midwife at one of the b/f clinics said I shouldn't be feeding for longer than 1 hour, 30 minutes each side, and that he was just doing it for comfort. But I'm not sure, as he really does seem to be feeding for most of that time, yet he's still hungry!
I want to give it up, but firstly I'm worried that I'm depriving my baby of my breastmilk, and secondly I'm worried what the health visitor will say, stupid I know. I've tried talking to her on two occasions about how hard I'm finding it, but when I told her that I was giving Zach bottles she pulled a face! It really upset me, what would she prefer I let him go hungry? I explained to her that I was always giving him breast milk first, just topping him up with formula but she didn't seem to approve!
The last couple of days I've been expressing three times a day and getting enough for two feeds, b/f at night and the rest of the time giving him aptamil. He seems really grizzly at the moment, and I'm worried it might be because of the feeding.
Has anyone else struggled with feeding? Do you think it's a good idea to keep at it, doing it the way I'm doing it now, or should I just switch to bottles? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Cas
I have a little boy, Zachary, who will be 4 weeks on Monday and I'm really struggling with the breastfeeding. Consequently I'm feeding Zach with a mixture of b/f, ebm and formula. I naively thought that b/f would be easy, you just stick the baby to the breast and away we go! I've seen a b/f specialist and attended 2 b/f clinics but it's not getting any easier and it's getting me down. In fact it's spoilt the first four weeks of my son's life!
I think part of the problem is that I don't seem to be producing much milk. Does anyone know the average amount produced when expressing? I get about 120ml from 20 minutes of expressing, but read on one of the forums that one lady was producing that in 5 minutes. Zach also seems hungry at the end of every feed, even though I can be b/f him for 1 hour, 1 hour and a quarter, 1 hour and a half, so been topping him up with a bottle afterwards! The midwife at one of the b/f clinics said I shouldn't be feeding for longer than 1 hour, 30 minutes each side, and that he was just doing it for comfort. But I'm not sure, as he really does seem to be feeding for most of that time, yet he's still hungry!
I want to give it up, but firstly I'm worried that I'm depriving my baby of my breastmilk, and secondly I'm worried what the health visitor will say, stupid I know. I've tried talking to her on two occasions about how hard I'm finding it, but when I told her that I was giving Zach bottles she pulled a face! It really upset me, what would she prefer I let him go hungry? I explained to her that I was always giving him breast milk first, just topping him up with formula but she didn't seem to approve!
The last couple of days I've been expressing three times a day and getting enough for two feeds, b/f at night and the rest of the time giving him aptamil. He seems really grizzly at the moment, and I'm worried it might be because of the feeding.
Has anyone else struggled with feeding? Do you think it's a good idea to keep at it, doing it the way I'm doing it now, or should I just switch to bottles? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Cas
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Replies
With some questions, I phoned the NCT breastfeeding helpline. The first woman I talked to was really unhelpful. The second time I called, I talked to somebody who was lovely. She made me feel so much better and me feeling better made a massive difference to how I felt about the breastfeeding. It had been really stressing me (and consequently my baby) out before.
In terms of your situation, trust your instincts.
Also, remember that there are growth spurts (one at 3 weeks I think), and then your baby will seem totally starving no matter what you do. I am hoping my baby is in the same place because at the moment she seems to feed more frequently than I can produce milk. I have worried all along that she wasn't getting enough, but the weigh-ins have alwyays been reassuring that she is doing okay.
Anyway, I think that what is most important for your baby is that his mum is happy. I'm not an expert, but based on breast milk being good for your baby, I'd think it will be better for you to express for as long as you can, and so mix breast milk and formula. That way, hopefully he will get the benefits, and you will feel a bit less stressed!
What ever you decide, take care
xx
As far as expressing goes, 120 ml after 20 min sounds pretty good to me! I can express for an hour and not get more than 100 ml - usually I get 90 mil off of both breasts which is why I am only using EBM as a fall back when Peter's constant need for food gets too much. So I would say you are producing plenty. As ally says, it may be a growth spurt or he may be cluster feeding - exhausting, but if you do get a good four hours in between it is worth it, particularly at night!
As for comfort feeding, have you thought of seeing if he will take a dummy? This would at least give you an idea of whether he is genuinely hungry or just looking for something to suck. We haven't actually done this yet, but have a dummy on standby in case it all gets too much for me (we came very close last night when he refused to sleep from 1:30 onwards!)
I am sorry to hear your hv is being difficult. Honestly, she has no right to judge you. In the end, you need to go with your instincts and remember that a happy mummy makes for a happy baby. You do what works for you and to h*ll with anyone else's opinion, mine included!
Good luck. x
Yes, history girl ,we do have a dummy. Although I was adamant I wasn't going to use one, we lasted only a day or two after birth. He seemed to just cry for no reason and the only thing that would comfort him would be sucking on our finger, and it would be just after feeding so we knew he wasn't hungry. So we bought a dummy but trying hard not to let him become too reliant on it, only giving it if nothing else seems to work!
I think I'm going to keep trying the bf, and expressing too (as its much easier at night). Yesterday and today I've bf in the morning and at bedtime, expressed the rest of the time, and topped him up with formula. Maybe he is going through a growth spurt as he seems to be eating loads at the moment!
And glad to hear it gets easier!
Thanks, Cas. X
Yes, history girl ,we do have a dummy. Although I was adamant I wasn't going to use one, we lasted only a day or two after birth. He seemed to just cry for no reason and the only thing that would comfort him would be sucking on our finger, and it would be just after feeding so we knew he wasn't hungry. So we bought a dummy but trying hard not to let him become too reliant on it, only giving it if nothing else seems to work!
I think I'm going to keep trying the bf, and expressing too (as its much easier at night). Yesterday and today I've bf in the morning and at bedtime, expressed the rest of the time, and topped him up with formula. Maybe he is going through a growth spurt as he seems to be eating loads at the moment!
And glad to hear it gets easier!
Thanks, Cas. X
Holly is a very grizzly baby too, and we have now worked out that a lot of the time she has trapped wind (I am going to try going dairy free for a week to see if that has any impact) and she is wanting to suck and be rocked to help move the wind along, this might be something affecting Zachary? I'm sure that as long as he is putting on weight then he is getting enough milk.
It's totally up to you whether to carry on or not I just wanted to reassure you that all you are feeling is the same as I experienced and I have found the light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck!
xxxxx
We also said we werent going to use a dummy then gave in on the second day! Like you at first i thought i wasnt producing enough milk but as long as lo is putting on weight then your body is making the right amount of milk. He did settle down at about 3 or 4 weeks and would feed for 20 mins and go about 3 hours between feeds and sleep longer at night and im still breast feeding 5 months on. It really does get easier.
Dont feel bad though about bottle feeding theres lots of advantages of bottle feeding, like you know exactly how much there getting and it keeps them fuller for longer. Dont let hv make you feel bad cos at the end of the day you know whats best for you and your baby The main thing is that your happy cos then baby will be happy.
I had a bit of a tough time to start with as my baby was early and I had to express and feed him that (it may have been my post you saw with me getting 120ml in 5mins?) but my mw actually said this wasnt particularly a good thing and encouraged me not to express so much as she said I would overstimulate breasts and make it harder for Ollie to feed. If you get the 120ml in 20mins I think thats fab! My mw also said not to swap breasts as then the baby will get 2 lots of fore milk and no hind milk which may be why he seems hungry still after a feed. Might be worth just keeping him on 1 breast at each feed, I do this and Ollie is satisfied. MW said to look at it like a 3course meal- baby needs to keep going back to same breast for starter, main and pudding!
Hope that helps.