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Things no one told you/ tips for new bfing mothers!
Hello all
As my wee bfing journey is slowly coming to an end I thought it would be nice to have a tips section for those who are new to bfing:
LOL my biggest tip would be once milk is established introduce a bottle, idealy expressed milk but a small amount of formula if you can't will do no harm and give you freedom. As awful as it sounds a big issue with my ds totally refusing a bottle was what if something happened to me?! It is also really important as it allows you a time out as not all babies do the feed then sleep for 3 hours routine, mine slept no more than 20 mins and then fed 20 mins after that
Another tip IMO would be when reducing the feeds get rid of the ones before the naps first as I think these are the hardest, when you eventually stop the other feeds they won't be such a big deal as not associated with sleep.
any comments welcom xx
As my wee bfing journey is slowly coming to an end I thought it would be nice to have a tips section for those who are new to bfing:
LOL my biggest tip would be once milk is established introduce a bottle, idealy expressed milk but a small amount of formula if you can't will do no harm and give you freedom. As awful as it sounds a big issue with my ds totally refusing a bottle was what if something happened to me?! It is also really important as it allows you a time out as not all babies do the feed then sleep for 3 hours routine, mine slept no more than 20 mins and then fed 20 mins after that
Another tip IMO would be when reducing the feeds get rid of the ones before the naps first as I think these are the hardest, when you eventually stop the other feeds they won't be such a big deal as not associated with sleep.
any comments welcom xx
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Replies
Also, I didn't realise that you need to rest and sleep to make milk in the early stages. So, the comment that you should sleep when baby does is really true. I tried to have a nap in the afternoon when I could in the early weeks.
I was pleased that I didn't give up completely at 6 weeks, (had real problems with getting sore, even though latch ok etc), rather that we tried combination feeding, as so far it's working really well for us.
Juliette and Eleanor 8 wks.
Ask the midwives on delivery suite to help you latch as soon as possible. Newborns are awake and alert for a short period of time and then they get very sleepy, so the best time to try and get them to latch is as soon as possible after birth.
If LO can't latch when your milk initially comes in, express some and try again. I got really engorged really quickly and ended up in tears really upset that I couldn't feed my baby, and of course it was the weekend so no one was there to ask.
Get advice as soon as you think there may a be a problem
Don't think your milk has gone when LO suddenly wants to feed all the time - it's usually a growth spurt or they're trying to increase your milk supply and it will pass in a day or two. Although if it doesn't pass, get advice.
If you want to be able to give LO a bottle of expressed milk don't leave it too late to try. And once you've got LO to take a bottle practice regularly. I was really pleased when Sophie took a bottle at 5 weeks old, gave her about one a week but then didn't bother for a while and now she won't take it.
Make sure you take every offer of help, especially in the early days.
Try to find a local breastfeeding group. It will help to know people who are doing the same and will keep you going.
Emily & Sophie 18 + 3
I stopped BFing at 5 day. Nipples were sore beyond beleif and i couldnt cope. In hind sight i wished id called soeone then but i didnt.....
at about 4 wks old i started to BF again. It took about 3 wks to get things going and now at nrly 10 wks (!!!!!) although he still needs a top up (about 2oz atm) im very proud and content and so i sammy.
ALWAYS call the help line if your down/struggling etc
And i totall agree with the bottle comment.
I love that can go out or something and DH can feed samy (sometimes expressed usually formula) and then on return i express so it keeps supply going. Much more freedom just for excersise classes or anything.
Remember that its hard work and esp when you have just given birth. When i started again it seemed so much easier without having to deal with all the pains etc your going thro as well
Jenn and Sammy
9+4
Good luck to all new mums and well done yto all if you who have given your children even just one drop of breast milk - it's magic stuffand you are giving them the best you can!
[Modified by: Ems101 on September 11, 2010 09:38 PM]
- DO NOT GUILT TRIP YOURSELF. If sometimes you feel like you have reached the end of your tether and need a break, give some expressed milk or some formula. It is really important that you maintain your sanity and if that means taking a break then just do it and don't feel bad, it will make no difference to your baby.
- FORMULA IS NOT EVIL!!! It's easy to get evangelical about breast milk but the odd formula feed is not going to harm your baby, it is designed for yur baby, is packed with vitamins and you are not doing your baby a disservice by offering it. (I mix fed for the first 6 weeks because it's what I felt I needed to do at the time to get by, after which we have have EBF and are still doing so at 7 months).
- YOU ALWAYS HAVE MILK! If your baby is putting on weight then don't stress about the cluster feeding it's totally normal and totally temporary, things will tail off as your milk supply increases. Whilst I stand by what I said above about giving yourself a break, I often wonder if I hadn't faffed around with formula and expressing for the first 6 weeks and had just got on with BFing that things would have resolved themselves far quicker.
- YOUR BABY DOES NOT NEED FORMULA TO SLEEP. When I switched to exclusively BFing it made no difference whatsoever to sleep patterns.
- DITTO WEIGHT GAIN - your baby will not necessarily put on less weight because he or she is breast fed, mine started off on 75th percentile and stayed there despite me dropping the formula feeds at 6 weeks.
- EVERYTHING YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IS NORMAL AND MOST OF US HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT BEFORE. The NHS breast feeding DVDs and in fact most of the literature you are given makes it seem like it's so easy and pain free but this is not the truth, it's difficult and it hurts for most women. Some lucky ones get no pain and have a trouble free breast feeding journey, but in my experience they are the exceotion not the rule.
- FINALLY, YOU ARE DOING AN EXCELLENT JOB. Whoever you are and whatever your situation, be nice to yourself and recognise that you are a good Mum and your baby is loved and that's what matters the most.
Rxxx
I didn't have a great experience in the first few days and weeks and we ended up mixed feeding from
1 week. It is possible to do both though!
My milk came in after only 24hrs and ds just wasn't ready for it. Plus, no one warned me about how painful it would be when my milk came in. Cabbage didn't really help, but I did get some gel pads from mothercare that go in the fridge and they were fab, a must for me infact. Do apply lasinoh at every feed as the other ladies have said. I would also buy some nipple shields just in case. When ds was 4 days old I had a kind of blister/sore spot, but between a bit of expressing and nipple shields it was fixed for good in 24 hours.
I think most babies also have a favourite side. Ds and I did not get on with my right and after seeing/speaking to my hv, 3 bf counsellors and my gp at 3 months we dropped to the one side - it is possible.
Ds also had massive weight gain trouble at the start and it took him four weeks to regain his birth weight. There are two things I would do differently if I had my time again. 1. Always offer them both boobs at every feed, my mw's told me not to and by the time I tried at 4-6 weeks it was too late. 2. Don't try and feed by a schedule, after reading way too many hooks I was adamant that ds could go more than 3 hours between feeds and I don't think he could. (I love Gina Ford, but have no idea how she makes those timings work for a bf baby.)
After all our trouble we've only just stopped bfing at six months and a lot if it was down to my sheer determination to keep going.
Good luck and remember it doesn't matter how you feed your baby as long as you're both happy and healthy. Happy Mum = happy baby! X
I would say be prepared to feel like all you do is BF for a good few weeks!
You get so thirsty, i had bottled water to hand at my feeding stations which helped
Lansinoh is an essential as are breast pads but i didn't like Johnsons ones, i find Lansinoh or Tomee Tippee the best ones
I would say invest in an electric breastpump when one is in the sale, i got the avent one when it was reduced and have used it LOADS but they are pricey so keep an eye out
Make sure your baby drains your breast well to avoid getting a blocked duct which can lead to mastitis. If you feel a lumpy area, massage it and you can express to clear the blockage. Hot baths and warm/cold flannels help too
If you do get mastitis it is ok to take ibuprofen alongside paracetamol (and antibiotic if you are prescribed it for m)
And finally something that really impacted on my early BF experience and could help someone else.
If your baby has tongue tie and you've been told it shouldn't effect feeding but think it might be then get advice from a lactation consultant. There is not enough awareness about it and not enough funding so you can be overlooked/dismissed. This happened to us but luckily i followed my own instincts and discovered it was causing our feeding problems. You may have to go private but it could be worth it, i would have given up BF due to the pain and my baby being so unhappy much sooner than i intended if it wasn't corrected. I wish i had read about tongue tie before DD's birth as the first four weeks of her life were not as enjoyable for both of us as they could have been.
HTH
Let down doesn't always feel euphoric (sp?) and lovely! Mine feels like slightly painful pins and needles! It only last for a few seconds tho.
Don't feel that if you are not LOVING BF that you are not doing it right. I know many mums love it and the feeling they get with their LO, but some mums just do it and it's OK, if you get me. Saying that tho, I have had some feeds where I enjoy it.
It takes a while for you and your baby to learn about BF and each other. It took me a long time to realise that when Eleanor was fussing with my nipple and getting fractious that she'd actually had enough from that side, whereas I thought she was still hungry and was trying to force her on poor thing.
Babies don't always come off the boob when full, well, at least mine doesn't! Eleanor will keep faffing with my nipple even tho she's had enough, and will cry when I take her off to wind her. She settles after a minute when she has her dummy or is distracted. I think she just gets cross/upset cos her feed has finished, kinda like me when my pudding or Double Decker has finished!!!
Using a dummy isn't recommended, I know. However, we had to use one from 2.5 weeks cos Eleanor just wouldn't settle and is a comfort sucker. My nipples were too sore for her to use me as a dummy so she has one. I fed her for 6 weeks and now we are combo feeding and it doesn't seem that the dummy has affected things.
I tried too hard to get a 'perfect' latch. Yes, you have to make sure it isn't hurting your nipple, or you will get sore, cracked etc. But, not every baby is 'perfect' in how it looks or sounds. Eleanor is a bit of a noisy, messy feeder - she is slurpy and doesn't always latch brilliantly, but now it doesn't hurt and she feeds fine.
Hope that helps. BUT every baby is different.
I totally agree with what's been said - HAPPY MUM = HAPPY BABY
I have Patrick at home now after giving birth on monday afternoon in hospital and am struggling a little to know if he is latched on properly..... How do you know that they are getting any milk through at all??
Have read lots of the advice on this thread which is helping me and the comment about the NHS bfeeding dvd making it sound painfree and wonderfuljust ends up making me feel like i am doing something/everything wrong because it hurts!
If he has woken crying in the night and i BF for 15 mins or so, when he has come off on his own and then sleeps, is this a good sign that he has at least got some milk from me?
I fed him from both sides for total of 20 mins and he has been asleep for just over an hour now, does that sound ok?
GA and Patrick (nearly 2 days old) x
Tongue tie - we had an awful experience for the first 2 months because of this and so many health professionals wouldn't even look in his mouth saying if he's putting on weight he can't have tongue tie - but that ws only due to my perseverence and the fact I had tonnes of milk which just squirted into his mouth as soon as he came near me!
IT IS HARD WORK and the NHS don't paint a realistic picture. I understand they don't want to frighten people off from trying but it just isn't realistic and makes you feel very alone and unsuccessful if you don't find it easy. I think if I had a more realistic expectation I would have been able to cope better when it was difficult.
xxx
Very helpful! xx
I found it hard to watch the instructions that have a 3 month old baby with its mouth wide open ready to latch on to a lovely sticky out nipple - none of this is what we were like so i couldn't follow them!!
Be prepared for it to hurt, I don't know anyone who had a painless bf experience.
You will have to be determined, its not a case of suck it and see (pardon the pun), its hard work but I do believe that it is worth it (I'm saying that after 5 bouts of mastitis, thrush, and a whole lot more)
At the beginning I didn't feel it was 'bonding' at all, I had a screaming monster that I had to feed every couple of hours. Now it is, I feel proud and he is happy
I sound very negative but I'm not, I just wish I'd known how hard it could be before I started.
My tips are
rotate baby round your nipple like a clock! Best thing i ever heard a midwife say and works a treat for sore nips and def stops getting to the cracked stage!!! (rugby ball one day, sitting up next day, lay down with baby next day and so on)
If struggling with a constant feeding baby, walk away, hand baby to someone else and take yourself for a shower, have a large drink of water/juice and come back down 10 mins later and you will be much more able to cope.
Accept all help offered and if its not offered then ASK. Get mums and mil to shop, wash, iron, cook, but keep the cuddling to yourself if thats what you want. Dont feel bad about taking yourself off to your bedroom to feed baby even if there are visitors in.
Think thats my top tips
Gemm x
Even though I have been feeding from one side only, Ioan has put on approximately 10 oz each week and is now 14 lb 6 oz. My HV says she sees several women who for different reasons can only feed from one side so don't panic if this happens to you. That one side will produce as much milk as your baby requires. xxx