Worries about breast feeding...Am I alone??

Zoebroadhead · Sep 13, 2008 5:26AM

Hi there, I wonder if there is anyone that can help me.

My partner and I are currently trying for a baby and the conversation of breast feeding has come up with my friend (mostly after watching the channel 4 programme!), and it has made me realise that I have a few hang ups....

Ok, so I know that breast feeding is the best for a baby, but i'm worried about the impact that that will have on me. Ok, so without sounding selfish because i'm truly not, but I wonder how other people cope with this issue...

Ok, so breasts for me and my partner are quite a big thing when it comes to bedroom stuff, (sorry if that TMI!!). I'm worried what sort of an impact it will have on that if I was breast feeding, and were no longer seen as something to 'play' with and became something that was 'functional'. Functional can be very unsexy and I really am just looking for peoples opinions and experiences.

My thought is this. I will express, and so the baby still gets breast milk, but there isn't the actual act of my child feeding from me.

I honestly don't know how I feel about this and really looking for guidance. I'm not selfish at all, but I just hear so often bout people going off bedroom stuff when a baby comes, and I know that that can be for a whole load of reasons, but I want to prevent that happening whereever possible...

Please help,and sorry for the long post!!

Zoe x x x x

Loopyloo80UK · Sep 12, 2008 7:44AM

My dh certainly doesn't see my breasts in a different way than he did before I had lo, infact he prefers thier new size lol!

My lo is only 8 weeks and having her in our room and the birth I had that effects things.

We did laugh though when my dh was stroking my breast and it leaked........

karen130770 · Sep 12, 2008 8:46AM

I think if you can just accept your breasts for what they are - on the one hand (no pun intended!) they are there to feed your baby and on the other to provide sexual pleasure it makes things a lot less complicated.

I know a lot of people have to complete separate the issue to the point that when they are bfing they don't allow their breasts to be touched by their partner. For me though I see them as having a dual purpose although absolutely not at the same time obviously!

I don't get hung up on it frankly and my dh still sees them in a sexual way when the baby isn't munching and says that it makes me more sexual in a way because I'm doing such a natural womanly thing if that makes sense?

Good luck whatever you decide to do - for me bfing has been a really positive experience and having bottle fed my previous children can't understand why I didn't do it before now!xx

30somethin · Sep 12, 2008 5:00PM

my oh still really loves my boobs, you may find that you and your partner find them even more amazing because they are able to provide your baby (who you will love so so much) with the exact amount of lovely milk they will need. my oh loved me feeding the baby although he did admit recently to feeling a bit odd at first but he said it was so amazing it didn't take him long to adjust

mine got loads bigger too which was fab, now i've stopped feeding and they are different to before but my husband still thinks they're great, they're more squishy but he likes that haha

don't get too hung up on things now, see how you feel when you have the baby

good luck

talulah73 · Sep 13, 2008 2:46AM

Hi
Your breasts are actually for feeding your baby not for your boyfriend to play with! That is what they are designed for!

I have breastfed my children and still am (my LO is 6 months) and me and my husband ( of 13 years) joke about how he is lending them to the baby etc as they are off limits until I stop. However, he has the rest of his life to play with them and a baby only needs feeding for 12 months!
My husband is fine with this as it is best for his baby.

Maybe if your main concern is how a baby will impact your sex life you should put off having any yet. A baby will seriously impact your sex life regardless of whether you breastfeed or not, but any solid relationship will survive this and it does not last forever.

Amanda

MLM_and_baby_bump_Digby · Sep 13, 2008 3:24AM

Hi
You are right to feel concerned if these issues are worrying you.

But I am sure that when you actually have the baby the natural instinct to care for your baby will override any of those worrys.You will find you only have eyes for your baby and anything else is completly forgotten about.

I found that the 20 hours of labour,the forceps and episiotomy the jelly belly and a baby feeding constantly at first just about smashed my sexual desire into the ground with a huge sledge hammer.Something like don't ever come near me again was mentioned to my hubby in a number of occasions.

icecreamloverpissedoffwithBE · Sep 13, 2008 5:26AM

Hmm, on one hand i have to agree with the ladies that the actual birth itself will prob put you off sex for a while, especially while you heal and rest.

expressing all the time will take a lot more time and energy than just simply feeding, and also expressing may not work for you (it doesnt work for everyone)
at first baby literally needs about 5ml of colostrum every hour or couple of hours.... so you would be expressing every hour or so... and eventually it will increase to every 3 hours...

but think of all the sterilising you would have to do - you would have to sterilise your breast pump between every expression, and bottles, teats etc... it is hard work and i think that actually would take more time and dedication than simply using your breasts for what they were designed for.

My OH loves my boobs, and loves them just as much now as he did beforehand, but for myself they have changed a little. I'm not so keen on them being 'handled' much. But other than that (and my sex drive decreasing due to sheer exhaustion) we still have fantastic sex, which means more as its now rare to get time together for it

I think maybe having a baby around all the time, and expressing all the time would have a more dampening effect on your sex life than feeding from the breast might....

your breasts will change anyway because of pregnancy, bf keeps them bigger for longer ;\)

xxxx

Worries about breast feeding...Am I alone??

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