It's all too much - can someone tell me things are ok?

HarryandClare · Sep 17, 2008 5:56PM

Hi ladies. I am hoping for some advice on here as I am very new to this - Harry is my first baby and is now the grand age of 4 days old!

I've had some conflicting advise re winding/not needing to wind him after a feed and wanted to make sure what was right? I try the rubbing/patting his back this when he is sitting on my lap (and it looks like I'm strangling the poor fella!) and also putting him up over my shoulder but very rarley does he do many burps and I don't want to make him uncomfortable - i'm sure I've given him hiccups more than once.

Also, I wasn't in hopsital very long (in and out within 12 hours as I had a very fast labour and nothing medical was wrong with us) and dont really get on with my midwife (only met her once after having alovely one wll through pregnancy who left a week before I gave birth!) but I am finding it difficult to get him to open his mouth wide enough to latch on how the leaflets they give you say he should, resulting in sore cracked nips already! I am determined to do my very best to exclusively bf but finding it a bit overwhelming feeding every few hours all day and night at the moment. Also I feel really swollen as my milk has come in the last couple of days so generally feeling a bit sorry for myself and sore all over!

Sorry for the waffle but I think I'm still in shock of it all and a bit overwhelmed that this poor little man is relying on me for so much - he is so perfect I don;t want anything to hurt him, particularly something I should or shouldn't have done, just need to someone to tell me it is okay really, and I'm not the only one feeling like this.

Thanks for listening / reading if nothing else ladies

Clare & Harry

hollysmumbump · Sep 14, 2008 4:33AM

hi clare congratulations hun on your baby boy!I have always winded grace as she gets very windy and now she has both breasts at every feed i wind in between swopping her over as well as at the end and she almost always bring a burp up.As for the sore nipples its normal even if babys latched on correctly to get sore the 1st few days whilst they toughen up,mine were sore for about 3 days and then cleared up,do you have any cream to pop on between feeds?alot of the ladies on here reccommend lansinoh as it dosent need wiping off for feeding.Grace never opened her mouth as wide as in those leaflets but has done fine and when shes grown shes been able to open wider,if you are worried about his latch can you ask a midwife or do u have a support line to call so somebody can come out to you and check??Its hard in the early days and perfectly normal for baby to feed lots due to their tummies being so small.Growth spurts are also difficult when breatsfeeding but honestly it does get easier and i promise its worth it.I found that grace settled down by the time she was about 6 weeks old and by 9 weeks was sleeping through the night and going 3 hrly between feeds,You are doing your best giving baby the best possible start to life and should be very proud,we are here if you need a chat.Dont know how id have coped in the early days if it wasnt for the lovely ladies on here!!take care hanna n baby grace xxx

karen130770 · Sep 14, 2008 5:34AM

Hi hon

This was like me in the early days with my little man.

Reiss could never open his mouth as wide as the pics either (maybe it's a made up drawing!) and I was really sore for a few weeks.

The best thing I did was to go to a bf cafe - they are really good and get right in there to try and show you a better way to position/latch etc.

The only advice I can give is to use Lansinoh cream every single feed and nipple shields if things get really sore to let them heal a bit. This is waht I did and after a few weeks when he had grown a bit, he was able to latch on so much better.

We are still bfing now at nearly 15 weeks and he's a right little porker so things have worked out really well. Took a lot of perseverance though, but I'm so glad I stuck it out through the hard days.

Good luckxx

dinky_Cath · Sep 14, 2008 6:00AM

I was exactly the same. I fa????led at 2 weeks. Its all so overwhelm????ng and just deal????ng w????th be????ng a new mummy ????s enough. I th????nk I would be much better prepared to bf my next one (????f there ever ????s one) as I know what to expect now. You w????ll probably f????nd that th????ngs w????ll get worse before they get better as he has growth spurts. Just do as much as you can. You are already show????ng that you are a fab mummy because you care enough to want to sort your problems out.

If you cant manage to do ????t - Dont worry, many of us g????ve up

flickaty · Sep 14, 2008 6:16AM

hello and huge congrats on your baby boy!
i deffinatly think that those picks are made up, neither of mine ever opened their mouth that wide. with my first my nipples cracked and they hurt so much but they cleared up by the end of the first week.
also at first it can seem like they are feeding all the time but this soon settles down, remember the first few weeks are the hardest and if you can get through them then you will probably carry on for as long as you both want. good luck. x

karen130770 · Sep 14, 2008 6:16AM

No failure involved hon - just a change of feeding method. I know how you feel tho cos I thought I'd 'failed' with my last ds when I stopped at around 3 weeks.xx

campbellly · Sep 14, 2008 2:44PM

I never needed to wind Ella after feeding her. She just wasn't a windy baby! Join a breast-feeding support group if you can. Mine has been a life-line and all going out for lunch afterwards was always a good incentive!!

Poz · Sep 14, 2008 2:54PM

Congrats on your little man! Just wanted to say that it will get easier, my daughter is coming up to 6 weeks and she is feeding much less frequently, and also each feed doesn't take as long as she is getting more efficient.

All babies are different, but my lo does get a lot of wind, she lets us know by screaming until we get it sorted! I would certainly try winding him after each feed, you won't hurt him. If he doesn't do any burps then don't worry, just put him down- if he's anything like Beth he will let you know if he is still uncomfortable.

About the pictures, I agree with the others, I think the pictures are exaggerated! Try to get someone to check your latching on if you can, but in the meantime just try to make sure he latches on when his mouth is at the widest point.

And finally, do get yourself some lansinoh- it's expensive but well worth it, I used it religously after every single feed for the first 2 or 3 weeks- it really seemed to help!

Good luck- hope bfing works out for you.

HarryandClare · Sep 14, 2008 3:07PM

Thanks ladies for your lovely supporting comments and advice, it makes such a difference to know I'm not doing it all wrong and others are/were in the same position not too long ago.

I feel loads better today, and Harry seems a lot more contented now the real milk is there, like you say I am sure he will let me know if there's anything wrong with him!

Will invest in some of that cream, sounds like magic stuff!

Thanks again

A much happier Clare and Harry x

Loopyloo80UK · Sep 15, 2008 8:48AM

Hey,

firstly - congratulations

secondly - I've just seen this and reading through I dont really have any other advise - it's all been said!

Nipple sheild worked for me - just used them for a few days while the cracked nipples I did get cleared up.

I was told that you don't need to wind a bf baby at my antenatal class but was told by a doctor that babies can take in wind through the side of thier mouth when feeding especially when they are so little. Also, I read somewhere that babies can get wind in other ways too - cant remember how except crying. I wind my baby, sometimes she burps, sometimes she doesn't but I think it's good to try - when my lo does need to burp she will fairly quickly!

SALJ · Sep 17, 2008 5:56PM

Hello there,

Congrats on your little boy, I have a boy too and he wouldn't bf at the hospital which was a nightmare! I had a section and they wouldn't let me out until he'd fed. I was determined not to give up and bottle feed him and was finally rescued by my mother who bought me some nipple shields from boots (and I have used them ever since!)

I noted at the hospital that he had a tongue tie and mentioned it to my bf support worker. She agreed however it wasn't my hospital's policy to snip it. She gave us some info on who does, but the shields are working so well I'm not going to have it snipped.

The bf lady told me that each time my son feeds he will get used to opening his mouth wider. Whatever he's doing at the moment works as he's put a pound on in the last week!!

It is comforting to know that others have struggled too and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh, and beware of growth spurts, my son was feeding every 3-4 hours but the last 2 days he's been feeding every 1 1/2 -2 hours which is a nightmare! But I don't care he's totally worth it.

Hang on in there you're doing a great job and best of all you don't have to make bottles up and it's free!!!

It's all too much - can someone tell me things are ok?

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