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advice needed on how to handle visiting mum against bf
I live 300 miles from my family and my mum is visiting 19 day old baby and i for first time.
im dreading her visiting cos already she doesn't accept my decision to bf, as she has told me on the phone, because she thinks i'm tied to the baby and her kids turned out ok who were bottle fed. I know she has got my interests at heart but, Im not sure how to deal with it as she wont listen to me and I dont want my resolve crumbling.
Im sure there will be other things which she will bring up which were different in her day.
anyone got any advice on handling mum so we dont spend the next week resenting each other and what other baby things she can do during her visit as bf and sleepin (which she cant help with) takes up most of the time?
thanks
im dreading her visiting cos already she doesn't accept my decision to bf, as she has told me on the phone, because she thinks i'm tied to the baby and her kids turned out ok who were bottle fed. I know she has got my interests at heart but, Im not sure how to deal with it as she wont listen to me and I dont want my resolve crumbling.
Im sure there will be other things which she will bring up which were different in her day.
anyone got any advice on handling mum so we dont spend the next week resenting each other and what other baby things she can do during her visit as bf and sleepin (which she cant help with) takes up most of the time?
thanks
0
Replies
This might sound a bit of a strange reply, but, it might help.
One of the things I read was that if you give a bf baby a bottle before they are three weeks old, they will always happily switch between breast and bottle. It may be that if you can express a feed to give lo occasionally in a bottle, this will genuinely help you because you won't be so tied to lo and may help mum see that you are being practical and addressing her concerns?
With regard to things that are different and suggestions, i find that replying "that is a good idea, I might try that" seems to work whether you intend ot try it or not.
Things to do, garden centres with cafes make good outings as lo can snooze in buggy and you can ususally find a quiet corner when she needs a feed.
Or maybe you could go with her to your local bf support group!
STAY STRONG YOU ARE GIVING THE BEST START YOU CAN!
xxx
You've made a great decision to bf your baby, just let your mum know of all of the positives of bf, the nutrients and antibodies, the closeness/bond etc and explain to her that your more than happy to be "tied" to your LO to give them the best start you can. Be strong, don't neccesarily feel you need to prove anything, your mum should be supportive. But be strong and don't let her put doubt in your mind XX
take care x
I did push a book under her face to read and she seems to have accepted b/f at the moment. I did say that I have been selfish during my life and this is one of the most unselfish acts I felt I could do for my baby.
My mum has been a big help with winding the baby as the baby seems to settle more in bed as a result. The only other issue I have with the baby is how long feeds can seem to last - like last nite I was up for 3 hrs in one go, then she only slept for 1/2 hr after - so maybe I haven't sussed out the wind problem yet.
Has anyone used gripe water to aid winding?
My advice (and my experience is limited so feel free to take what I say with a pinch of salt!) is try not to get too hung up on routine and establishing what does and doesn't "work" for certain problems. At such a young age lots of things don't need anything except time to sort themselves out and what works one day won't the next. The last thing you want to do at what is already an exhausting and emotional time is to worry about timetables and solving problems (like wind) which will probably just pass on their own. Lily had a windy phase at 2-6 weeks, but it just passed as her digestive system matured.
Hope you're coping ok and enjoying being a mummy