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Feeling fed up and ready to quit
My lo is 3 weeks and 2 days. He has been breastfed from birth. At the start I was getting lots of pain at night so decided to express and give bottles at night so hubby could also help and do a feed. He also seems to be having a growth spurt a nd as I haven't been able to express enough, he has been given a couple of bottles of formula over the last few days. At the moment all lo wants to do is eat. I'll put him on my breast, he'll eat for 10min then fall asleep. When he falls off he wakes up and screams for food-this goes on all day. I really wanted to give breast feeding a go so tonight after hubby gave the midnight bottle, I had lo in bed with me so I could feed him when needed and get some sleep. Well, it's now 6am and I have had no sleep. Lo keeps crying he's hungry, latches on for a few sucks, falls asleep, then wakes up crying. I'm exhausted. I can't carry on like this. When he's had a bottle (expressed milk or formula), he settles after. But he never really settles after being on the breast. It's probably my own fault for giving a bottle early, but I didn't know what else to do as I was in agony trying to feed him. I know there's nothing wrong with bottle feeding and formula (I was only bottle fed), but I still feel like if I give up now I'm a failure. I always thought if I needed to bottle feed then that would be fine, but I guess I have been influenced by all the 'breast is best' campaigning. Sorry for the long garbled message! This is what lack of sleep does to me!
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Do you think LO is latching on properly? My DD had a rubbish latch and would feed for an hour every other hour as it took her so long to get a decent feed. Also have you ruled out thrush? Both me and DD had that and it caused me lots of pain and made feeding more difficult for her.
To be honest for me it really only became easy around 12 weeks when she finally perfected her latch and got into a better routine. I am still doing 2 feeds a day at nearly 17 months!!
If your pain is just sore nipples that will pass very soon. Have you got lansinoh cream? If you think its more than that again could be thrush so might be worth getting checked out?
BF is so hard because nobody can help you with it and its easy to put so much pressure on yourself. I know lots of people have given up and not regretted it at all as it was making them miserable but I can promise you that for most people once you're passed these 1st few weeks it becomes so much easier.
good luck
Latching on wrong can cause them to give up easily. Ask your health visitor to put you in touch with your local breast feeding group, peer counsellor or feeding co ordinator. You should have one in your area.
I thought I was dying the first 6-8 weeks. I was so exhausted it was unreal but all of a sudden a routine formed and that was it. Easy as pie. It does get better but the early days are so so hard.
Take care and good luck whatever you decide to do x
Now this goes against all the professional advice but here is my experience, which might give you some comfort and hope for continuing with BF if that's what you want:
I wanted to breast feed but like you found sitting up all night with a baby intolerable. So, right from day one, I mix fed. At night I would give baby formula so she would sleep, and OH would help with feeds at night too. And i would express to avoid becoming engorged. Then I'd use the expressed stuff the next day if I was out and about and didn't fancy whipping my boobies out or if I wanted a break.
This went on for 6 weeks. Then, suddenly, things got loads easier. And the night feeds became far more spaced out so it didn't seem like such a chore to feed her myself any more. And 12 months laster we're still BFing - she hasn't had formula since nor have I expressed an ounce.
So, basically, be aware of the risks re supply but don't be scared of going down this route if it gets you through the early days, it worked for me so it is possible.
And don't be pressured by anyone I am massively massively in support of BFing but miserable Mummies do not a happy babay make so do what you need to do to get by.
Loads of love
Rxxx
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/growth-spurt.html
Also, if he's falling asleep when feeding have you tried stripping him? DS wouldn't feed properly to start, so we would change nappy and feed in just nappy, then dress him after. He was over a week old before he had his first fully clothed fee. If you take your top off too the skin to skin will help boost supply.
After 6 weeks things got a lot easier for me. The first month I had to cover my nipples in the shower as it hurt if the water touched them. The first few minutes of feeds hurt and made my toes curl. We had our latch checked and it was fine. With time it just got easier. He's 4 months old now
I am a first time Mum I am due in 2 1/2 weeks and really really want to breastfeed. However, I am really aware of how difficult it can be.
Reenyree - can you tell me more about when you formula fed as this sounds like it would really work for me initially? I was planning to express so my husband could do the evening feed so they had a chance to be together? but also think mix feeding maybe better throughout the night?
Any advice would be very much appreciated!
PP+oscar (30 days)
I commend anyone that manages to successfully bf but it just really isn't for every baby xxx
We had to strip LO down to keep him awake during the evening/night feeds and even used a little cold water on his face to keep him awake - what a bad MUM! But it did work and he did get used to filling up before nodding off...Sometimes you have to be a little cruel to be kind.
Ultimately though you need to do what you feel is right for both you and the baby - don't guilt trip yourself.
HJS