Day and nights mixed up

Gail1977 · May 18, 2011 5:44AM

I have a baby girl who is 4 weeks old. I also have a 4 year old and I breast fed her. I am breast feeding this baby too and am so upset with myself and feel guilty as for the last 3 nights I have given her 2 ounces of formula. I don't want her to have it and I really need some advice. Basically my HV says my baby has her days and nights mixed up. She is an angel all day and feeds well but when it gets to about ten at night she begins cluster feeding and feeds till about 4am. She won't go in her cot, moses basket, pram or bouncer. Through the day she settles from awake no trouble. I have tried a water bottle to warm her bes, putting my clothes in so it smells of me and also soothing music. I am surviving on 2 hours sleep in 24 hours. I am forgetting what I am doing and I nearly dropped my baby yesterday which scared me. HV says I need to wake her hourly through the day, take her clothes off to feed so she's not warm and cosy to help her swap her days and nights but all it does is distress her and then she won't feed or she cries so much she's sick and the whole cycle of needing to feed starts again. She is gaining weight well and I know the feeding is effective (I am a breast feeding counsellor) My problem isnt the breast feeding itself, I love it, its the constant feeding all night. I have no one to help with my other child as there is only me and my husband so I get no rest. I have tried expressing to give her that at night but I have tried various pumps but I am no good at pumping, never have been. Basically I want to stop the fromula as I hate it but it has given me 4 hours sleep which I have needed but I am really ashamed and can't tell anyone what I have done. To make it all worse I had massive complications during my section. bled heavily and nearly died. I am now anaemic and tired from that and also have had 2 chest infections since my surgery so feeling ill. I really don't know what to do. HV visiting weekly and being brilliant but her advice is not working. Can anyone please help?

Lambchop80 · May 18, 2011 2:11AM

Oh Hun don't feel guilty. I'm new to this bf malarky but have also supplemented formula here & there just so I can sleep as a tired mummy is not a happy mummy & if it's making you so tired you nearly dropped your lo I think you made the right choice.

Tbh I was going to say the same as your hv, wake her every couple of hours & try to get as many feeds in as possible. Also keep the downstairs nice & loud & active during the day. I can't suggest much more I'm sorry to say, my dd was formula fed so bf my ds now is all new territory for me.

Big hugs though, there is a reason they use sleep deprivation as torture it's bloody hard!! Does your dd1 nap, are you able to grab a quick power nap yourself then??

Socksxx · May 18, 2011 4:16AM

I also gave my daughter formula top ups for the first few weeks it wont do her any harm so dont beat you self up. It is tough and you are doin really well.dont have any advice but just wanted you to know you werent alone. I am sure she will settle it took us 9 weeks I know that doesnt help you in the short term. Hang in there I have said to so many people I would do labour over the first 6 weeks any day! Sorry to hear you had such a bad time after your section xx

Moomin-mama · May 18, 2011 5:44AM

You are going through something very similar to me and as hideous as it is at the moment you will come out ok on the other side. i was up between 3-5am every night cluster feeding, i had to let her fall asleep on me and try to transfer her to the basket without her waking.

Try bringing in a morning routine, opening the curtains fully, making noise, get her changed (even if its just into a different sleep suit) so she knows there is something significant happening. We kept DD close to the patio doors so she got a lot of light in the day as i read that the melatonin(sp?) from the sunlight helps to get your babies body used to day and night time, when you have recovered enough from your section a walk at midday when it's sunniest would help. At night time try and keep everything dingy and quiet - i used to watch the tv but the flickering light would keep her awake so i had to just sit in the dark with her - but it did help and slowly over the course of about 2 weeks her bedtime moved from 3am to 11pm.

Dont ever feel bad about giving formula as a top up, you will both be happier for having some better sleep xx

Day and nights mixed up

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