Breastfeeding in public - how to be discreet?

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  oscar2

  Oct 24, 2011 4:40PM

  hi! I use a widgey pillow, get henry level with my boob so his head is in front of it and adjust myself then. My boobs are not that big but i do use a nipple shield which is very fiddley to get on. I always said i wouldnt use a shawl etc as why should my baby eat with a bag on his head, however, never banked on having a shield as although the public might cope with subtle bf most people would find the shield very wierd! I found some widgey type pillows on an american website that fold in half for easy transportation and have a privacy curtain on each side that attaches to your bra strap (so the baby feeds in more of a tent and can breathe). Now can't find the website! I looked at the other options - shawls, slings etc but all of them look a bit tricky to use with a nipple shield and im sure id end up abandoning them.
  
  
  
  I think the main thing to do might be to pick your places and who you go with. Out shopping john lewis is very mum and baby friendly, the cafe is full of prams and no one will look twice at you. The right person with you will make you confident too. Theres a BF room in john lewis too but when i saw it it seemed like an extension of the toilet and thought why should my baby eat in a toilet? Went to the cafe where i could have a drink too!
  
  
  
  I decided pretty early on that as henry eats so much, BF would be nigh on impossible if i wasnt brave, and would end up a bit down if i had to stay in all the time. I wouldnt BF in a proper rough pub or on public transport or anything (but i can live without these things) but most places i will do it and tbh no one cares or notices really. Plus as of last year its an offence for anyone to ask you to stop. I think attitudes are changing from in the past. Occasionally someone does look by mistake but then i usually notice they panic and try to look anywhere but! I tend to wear blouses that are in fashion or pull tops up with widgey round me, so my tummy is not on show x

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  WoWbabies

  Oct 24, 2011 7:56PM

  hi, with 40G boobs i totally understand how tricky big boobs and bf can be, especially in public... now the weather is turning colder it works in ur favour... a low v neck jumper (boyfriend style or similsr) with a vest top underneath... pull the v neck down, and the vest top upwards, should allow to just have the essential bit out which baby covers anyway... much like the bf tops from h&m, which i like, not keen on the ones from mothercare though...alternatively debenhams do a nursing bra that has a drop down cup, but then underneath that is another layer with just a hole cut out for the nipple, so workes under most tops and being discreet... they go up to G cup... with a toddler in tow aas well as my 10months old (who i'm bf) it's impossible to stay in, so had to get the nack of it pretty sharpish, with my toddler when he was bf i didn't need to go out as much... try going to baby groups and bf groups and feeding there to build ur confidence... them move onto cafes with a friend for example... i even fed my dd when she was few weeks old walking round asda, couldn't do that now, she's too heavy, and too nosy!!! it comes with practice, but does get surprisngly easy once u get it, and handy clothing helps too... also muslins are great for just chucking over while ur latching and still unconfident xx

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  piggypops

  Oct 26, 2011 3:39PM

  we use a breastfeeding butterfly shawl, i have just got my mum to make me another as they are simple to make but quite expensive to buy! i got my original one off ebay new, they are by faye and lou
  
  
  
  i always have a feeding top under a normal top so my belly is covered

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  PBubs

  Oct 26, 2011 3:54PM

  piggypops how did you know how to make them (or your mum). I've looked on the faye and lou site but not sure where the elastic would go.
  
  
  
  Do you have a pattern at all? I would much rather get my mum to make one than spend ??28 on one

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  baby_bear4

  Oct 26, 2011 4:00PM

  I'm not a mum yet but the breatsfeeding shawls look good.
  
  
  
  http://www.fayeandlou.co.uk/products/breastfeeding-butterfly.html

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  piggypops

  Oct 28, 2011 3:32PM

  as i dont tie it as a top just tuck it under her when feeding we didnt put the elastic is as we didnt feel it was neccesary, basically its two triangles sewn together half way up, i'll try pop a pic on for you x

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  piggypops

  Oct 28, 2011 3:59PM

  here are my butterfly and hand made shawl
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  

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  gemgems13

  Oct 29, 2011 4:35PM

  I sometimes use a pashmina (??4 ebay one, not a 'proper' one). Put it round you, tie a knot, then shift it round so the knot is behind you and you have a nice bit of loose material at the front.
  
  
  
  Sometimes it's just about sitting in the right place. Sit with your back to most of the people, and sometimes I found if I pulled my pram up close to me with the hood up, then sat angled towards it I had a nice little triangle between my back and the pram.

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  emilymoore682

  Mar 21, 2016 12:49PM

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  Kayagh

  Mar 23, 2016 11:13PM

  It's a difficult one we got caught out in Pizza Hut I'd just fed both babies in the van and Kayleigh wanted more waitress came over as most folk do twins attract attn and just said argh your breastfeeding the world is mostly ok but I survived with nursing tops and a hoodie plus blanket loosely draped worst thing was when my little guy got more milk than he bargained for and started choking trying to settle him and cover up quickly was a red face moment.  Sadly both twins are now bottle fed bring back the convenience of breastfeeding.  

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  annafionabecker

  May 16, 2016 2:22PM

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  Katywithak

  Dec 25, 2021 6:31PM

  Tigerlily13 said:

  I am really struggling with this! Until last week i have got away with just feeding at home as we've not been out very far. Last week we went to the trafford centre and had to feed, but copped out and used one of their bf rooms. Went out for lunch today and Ryan decided he was hungry so attempted a feed using a scarf to cover myself, but it was really difficult trying to get him latched on correctly and keep the scarf in position. Ended up with him getting hot and cross so we just whizzed home instead.
  I do have nursing tops and bought some vest tops i can layer up, but my boobs are big, and i find as soon as i undo my nursing bra my whole boob falls out, i can't seem to get just the nipple out, and really don't want to be flashing the world before he gets latched on. I've also tried using my sling to feed him in but that doesn't really work either!
  Any suggestions?
  xxx

  It's so sad that this should be an issue, but despite everything tried for decades, society still sexualises your baby's milk man. Doesn't that sound silly? Because it really is.
  Many establishments provide discreet seating areas for nursing mums if you check in advance. Not in a toilet either.. there's some that think they're making you hide there, is accomodating you.
  A loose top is handy. Something thin that baby will barely notice draped over the top of her head, so unless someone sits beneath you, there's not much to see 
  One thing that does attract attention is a panicky lady looking scared and guilty about her baby. Relax. You're doing nothing wrong. 

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