hate being asked when im stopping!
does anyone else have to answer this question all the time?! i have been lucky enough to breast feed my LO exclusively for 6 months,then alongside food and water for another six months. he's now 12.5 months and i am being constantly asked when im drawing a line on it all. Why would i?! he loves it, i love it, he only has it morning and night. people seem to fear he will become this crazed little boy who is always trying to get my top up inappropriately in public! since he dropped his day feeds by himself he has never tried to do this. I feed him in the privacy of our home as part of his bedtime routine and when he wakes up as his first cuddle of the day.
He's a BABY after all - and im his mummy!! Its the best stuff for him and the health benefits dont suddenly vanish because he's hit 12 months. I dont intend to feed him until some crazy age or anything, and i dont think he will do it forever (if he was one of those babies i think he'd be demanding it way more at this stage).
Why can't people just say well done? Im not stopping until he stops, and im confident from other people's accounts that he will x
Replies
thanks nimmy. i think its so rare in this country to manage to follow government advice and breast feed to a year - let alone further - that people forget its actually what is good and natural and won't do them any harm! lol!
im not anxious for lo to stop, in fact i think i will be sad when he does, but i hate the external pressure that im somehow forming him into a clingy person by doing it. its keeping him well and its a loving thing between mummy and baby!
i don't see any signs of him stopping yet, he still has a good 20-30 min feed morning and night or though occasionally this will be 5-10 mins, but most of the time longer. did you start giving cows milk once your lo's stopped?
Ive always fed with a nipple shield due to soreness initially and then lo getting hooked on it. ive never had any problems with supply and lo has gained weight and never needed supplementation so im happy with the way things have gone. however, on the rare occasion it comes off by mistake and lo sucks with four teeth it makes me jump through the roof! So big respect for feeding a baby with teeth ha ha x
Hi Alfie, I've not been asked about stopping yet, but think we are both ready now, so will probably stop when he turns one in a couple of weeks.
Ryan has dropped his feeds by himself, and now has maybe 10 mins in the morning, and 5 towards the evening, and sometimes he doesn't even ask for his evening feed. I'm very glad I stuck it out for the year, and pretty proud of myself, especially as we had such problems getting started, and then I had to go dairy free because Ryan has an intolerance.
Feeding with teeth has never been a problem for us either! He knows to keep them out the way!
I'd just ignore what anyone says, you and baby are happy and that's the main thing. I did consider carrying on, but it will be nice to have a bit of a break before number 2 arrives, and half of me worries i'm just not getting enough nutrients for the 3 of us now!
xxx
She naturally dropped day feeds at 8/9 months ish then just had first morning and bedtime, she dropped one (can't remember which but I think it was night) at about 12 months then dropped the other at 12.5 months.....on my first day returning to work!! I was devastated, emotional from leaving her with no feed and returning to work....worse day ever! But looking back very grateful that she choose to stop because I wasn't going to try stop her but I was about ready to stop. I loved feeding her, made our bond strong and made me feel special coz only I could give her this.
In my opinion more ppl should feed this way and not enough ppl make enough effort to try! I'm not a crazy breastfeeding lady who preachs about it but I do have strong feelings about it. But nor am I anti formula....if that's what ppl choose.
No-one would ask a formula feed babies mum when she was gonna stop them feeding!
Baby boom, I think half the problem is that people aren't prepared for how difficult it can be. I went to a bf class while pregnant, and the midwife's main message was the benefits, and that everyone is physically able to do it. That's the stuff I already knew. What I didn't know is that babies need training, not all just latch on and are away. It can bloody hurt if you don't get it right at first, and in those early days you can spend a whole evening feeding. I'm so lucky I have a supportive husband who helped me through, and I was so determined to get it right, but it would have been very easy to throw in the towel and give him a bottle.
You defo need to be 100% determined and 100% sure this is what you want to do and really push through them bad times to succeed. But this is what women and babies are made to do.....African families, pre war English families and many others only ever breastfeed.
Not everyones cup of tea but certainly worked for us.
i agree with everything you've all said! BF is very challenging and needs to be a commitment - but it really pays off once off the ground. There isnt enough done to make people aware of how it will be and give people support in the intitial postnatal period. but there are also lots of people who dont want to do it, or want to do it enough for the effort and sacrifice you have to make in the beginning. I know that's their choice but there is a difference between people who don't try and those who try desperately hard and are heartbroken when they can't due to lack of knowledge and support.
Im also very proud of myself and my LO we've gone with the rough and the smooth and made a good team
but i agree tigerlilly if i was pg again i would want to wind it down. I think its probably better to wrap it up in pregnancy when your Lo is slowing down his feeds than make him feel rejected when you start feeding his brother or sister. we are in the early stages of considering another...probably ttc when lo is 2 or so so at 2 years i know i would like to stop feeding, tbh i think lo will self wean long before then.
My daughter is 16 months and has 3 feeds a day now. She likes her morning and bed time feeds but still loves a snuggle on the sofa and a feed after I drop my other daughter at school. She then has her morning nap. I fed my other daughter till she was almost 3. She is not a cligy child. We have a fantastic relationship. She is bright, independant and happy. My baby is the same. She happily plays with other kids, goes to others for cuddles etc. I havent made her clingy. People ask all the time. I dont understand it. No one asks bottle feeding mums if they are going to stop using follow on milk! My health visitor asked if I had thought about using follow on milk so I could stop feeding! I hadnt even asked for this advice! Was totally shocked. My answer was "Why would I move onto artifical milk, or cows milk, when we are both happy for her to have my milk. Human milk?" She didnt know what to say. I am not anti formula at all. each to their own, but I do wonder why breast feeding mothers have to explain their choices!
gail1977, can i ask you whether you think you have much milk now, or do you think its mainly about the cuddles?
I work over one or two bedtimes a week so i have to pump for those, for some time now i havent been able to get enough so have made it up with frozen ebm. my freezer supply ran out when LO was one year one week old so we've been able to skip formula, but have had to mix what breast milk ive had with cows milk. I still bf morning and night but have started to introduce a beaker of cows milk in the afternoon (to replace water rather than a breast feed) i find he doesnt drink much water and he loves the milk so i feel better he's getting more fluid and calcium. i dont think either of us are ready to stop but when i pump at work i only get 2oz now and he takes a good 6oz - so 4 of cows milk.
I feel a bit sad about my supply going down, but i still hear swallows, although my breasts never feel full anymore. is this normal after a year or so when they're eating lots? Or has the pumping once or twice a week diminished my supply? I want to keep it going as long as possible but i dont want LO to miss out on what he needs. You're a good person to ask as i dont know many other people who've BF to this age x
Yes my milk has gone right down too. I never feel full anymore. The same happened with my other child when she turned one. I do think her midday feed is all about comfort and going to sleep but she does feed for about ten minutes morning and night and seems happy with that. I dont pump anymore as I struggled too once she started feeding less. She wont drink cows milk either so has to have water when I am at work. This last week though she has been in lots of pain with her teething and not eating and has been increasing her feeds and I notice I feel fuller. If your little one is only feeding twice a day your breasts wont feel full but there will be sufficient there to feed him for those two feeds. Babies are always better than breast pumps.
Keep up the feeding until you both feel ready to stop. You are really doing a great job! I think at this age most babies are feeding a lot less and thats normal with all the proper food they eat x
thanks gail. i only pump when i have to as i miss a feed (even though i dont get much im scared to stop this, i dont want my supply going down too much) ive long since given up trying to pump at times other than the times he feeds, as nothing comes off now.
you've made me feel much better, people are so quick to be scathing about it, telling me its all coming to an end and milk supply is trailing off, its good to know its normal and just stick with it. Breast feeding has served us well so i wont loose faith now! x
if you feed them as long as they want it, you can't do much more nimmy, sounds like you've done an amazing job with your lo's. how long did they feed for? x
Your milk supply isnt trailing off really though. Try to look at it that you are now making just the right amount for his needs and that can still change. My baby was ill and fed like mad and my milk went tright up after 48 hours to the way it was when she was much younger. Thats the amazing thing about breast feeding, it changes to suit you and your baby!
thanks gail, that makes me feel much better. I guess i was just worried that in the end our babies self wean because there isnt much there - but then i suppose there isnt much there because they've made it that way! Ive never stopped my LO feeding and hes dropped feeds by himself so he is demanding what he needs. The only unnatural element is have to pump once or twice a week but i really cant help that - and at least i do pump. I try and tell myself a little cows milk is part of weaning and growing up, and that ill still feed him wherever i can. x