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Anyone like me?

Hi everyone,

Am gatecrashing from pregnancy. Just wanted to see if there is anyone out there like me!

I'm 26 weeks pg with my first child and have quite a good career and very supportive husband. We tend to share the bread-winning and the chores and hope to do the same once LO is here. To be honest I feel very lucky in this situation but friends and family are making me feel really guilty for me wanting to go back to work after having baby.

I only get smp because I am with a new employer and was self employed previously so we can't afford for me to be a full-time mum however I wouldn't want to be. I've worked really hard to get a good career going and for the first time I feel like I've really got somewhere, why should I give that up just because I am female? Hubby doesn't get asked about his plans all the time!!! Is it not possible to have both? I realise it is going to be hard, it already is just being pregnant as my employers aren't exactly pro kids but I want to be able to give my child the best I can in life and set a good example. Hubby and I both have quite flexible jobs and work only 5 mins from home, my parents live in the same street and the nurseries in the area are really good. My hours are 9-3pm at the office and I do an hour and a half at home every evening too.

I plan to take about 3-4 months off but will be doing a bit of work from home during that time as well. Please could someone reassure me that I'm not a bad mother for wanting to do things this way. I've been having panic attacks all weekend since mother-in-law came round and basically told me how awful it was! My mum worked as was actually the main bread winner and still loved me dearly and I turned out alright!

Sorry for the rant would really appreciate your comments, think I'll go crazy if anyone else looks at me like I've got two heads!


  • your MIL needs a slap, what an awful thing to say!

    going back to work wether it be 6 weeks or 12 months after baby does not make you a bad mum AT ALL!!!

    i have to go back after 9 months as thats all we can afford and i think i will be ready for work by then, i have quite a strong work ethic and couldnt be at home full time.

    really ignore your MIL she sounds like a narrow minded twit, what matters is whats best for your family, MY MIL whats me to go back asap to get her claws in to baby but thats is quite frankly never gonna happen!

  • Your MIL sounds like a right moo! Ignore her!

    I went back to work part time when my lo was 4.5 months old and tbh I didn't want to go back, I didn't really like the job (was only temping) but had no choice as we needed the money. However was we'd settled into a routine I enjoyed it, it was lovely to have some adult time away from lo, and also for lo to have sum time away from me. I think this has helped her confidence a lot, and she is not stuck to me all the time she's quite happy to interact and play with other ppl, which will hopefully be an advantage when playschool comes around.

    I now work full time, And yes it is hard and yes I feel quilty for spending all that time away from lo, but it in no way means I am a bad mother. In fact working mums are fab mummu's and working so hard to provide for their kids so they can have the best. I think working mums get such a bad press and its really not fair, jst cos we're mums doesn't mean we're not individuals as well. I had some1 say to me at work the other day 'i'd never work if i had kids, i think its awful to leave ur kids with sum1 else' I cud've slapped them!!

    Enjoy the rest of ur pg. And ignore ne1 elses stupid ignorant comments xx
  • Thank you ladies! Believe the mood I was in she nearly did get a slap! Hubby was quite quiet about the whole thing until last night when he came home from work. he's obviously been stewing on her comments all day and when he got home he was like "how dare she this" "how dare she say that" so that made me feel better too!

    I do still get annoyed by peoples comments and find it hard to please people at work as well but you can't please everyone. As long as I please my little girl and my hubby then that's enough for me!

    Thanks again for your replies and best of luck with your pgs

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