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devastated, bk to wrk more days than i would have liked


this is my first post on this and its a bit of a moany one, sorry!

firstly abit of background info to explain why i'm upset,
my pregnancy was a complete surprise but unplanned but we can cope we are not really young and have a very stable home life, so a baby is a welcome addition,

our only problem is our financial situtation is shocking, my other half got in alot of trouble when he was younger and untill i stepped into his life and got him organised he was in a sorry state but we are now managing to pay all bills but money is really tight.

so to keep managing to pay all our bills i must return to work 4 full days a week and having to give my baby to my mother in law for childcare, which i'm already hating, my mother in law is a wonderful person but i wanted to be the one with the majority care of my baby,

i feel that i'm going to miss out on so much by not being with my baby

marie x


  • Hi i went back to work full time when my DD was 9 motnhs old and my mum and my mother in law shared child care. I can tell you one thing for sure, I personally found I used my time with my DD so much better than when I was home all the time because I had the money to be able to take her places like swimming to the play area ect. Im pregnant with number 2 and as much as it would be great to not have to go back to work (well im at uni now full time) i know I have to and i feel fine with it as I know it means we will have a better overall life as we wont be struggling with money xx
  • thanks wannababy,

    i know its gonna be good to be able to do all the things for my baby that i never got when i was a kid and i know in a few years time, a few of our commitments will be paid off just in time for extra pennies for really good family holidays.

    i'm a qualified nursery nursery (not working as one at the mo) so i guess i'm just worrying cos its in my nature to look after children and i know some of the worst things that can happen e.g major separation anxiety or even children who have no interest or show happiness when parents come home because they were so used to nursery environment - its so sad,

    i know this will be completely for my baby as it will be with its granny and not strangers and my hours wont be long like the nursery - i'm just a big worrier

    marie x
  • Hi there, I am a working mummy too, and I think what you are describing is natural and just another part of the maternal guilt which will never go away! There is always something to worry about, I think, and I am a worrier too. I work 3 full days a week, and have a 2 hour commute each day. I sometimes work in the evenings, but not often. I have mummy friends who do from 2 and a half days to 5 days a week. None of us thinks that we do a perfect job at home or at work. We just do our best. I think whatever the amount of days you were working, you could feel that you have too little time at home with your child. I miss my lo enormously during the day, but it does get easier when you get into the swing of things, and I am really looking forward to our holidays this year and I really appreciate my time at home too. I hope things work out for you. x
  • Hi again, i just wanted to add, that when i went back to after having my DD i cried, and cried and cried!! its natural but trust me when i say it does get easier, it really does. i know i will be just as sad when i go back after having this baby but i know i am doing the right thing for my family, its not everybodys right thing but its mine. When we win ??200K and have no morgage or other debt (i have a car on finance,ekk!) then I will quit work for good but at the moment, working suits us to have a good comfortable life xx
  • It's great to know that we all feel the same.

    I went back 3.5 days a week when lo was 7 months old, 9 months now. I only agreed 3.5days as a temp measure as they really want me to work 4 days and only take 2 half days. Not ideal and so far they've not pushed me to change so I'm keeping schtum !

    Anyway, I cried and cried for about 2 wks before coming back and at least a week after. lo hated new routine and cried for a week.
    But now, it's fine. It honestly does get easier. Like Rhian2 says I'm not sure I do the best at work or at home that I could do but I'm doing the best I can.
    We have loads of debts to pay, result of living a champagne lifestyle on a shandy wage on the early days of our relationship ! And it's juts not posisb;e for me to not work (redundancy is looming but that's a whole other sob story)

    I hate that my mum and childminder have all this time with him that I don't. But it makes me spend such good quality time with him when I'm not working. I'm his mum and e loves me and that won't change whether I'm working or not.

    Good luck and I'm sure you will work it all out. take care. S x
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