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At wits end - please help!!!

Hi everyone, cant rememebr if i posted on here a while ago or not, my son is 3 and a half and has speech and language delay. Although improved in the past year he is still severly behind his peers with the speech and his understanding of language.
Until 3 weeks ago I was feeling great about everything as the speech is mproving and I got to the point where i could take him out and explain safety etc to him (something i was concerened about), he is now potty trained and dry at night, and i got rid of the double buggy (i also have an 8 mnth old) as he was having such few tantrums i didnt need to use it round shops etc.
Now it seems like he has regressed back to his old ways and has been throwing a ridiculous amount of tantrums over nothing!! I really am at a loss as to what to do, its making me so stressed which isnt helping. we have always used the naughty step and it has worked very effectively for us. its the only way with him, he calms down quickly and is always sorry but now it seems like 15 mins later and he has forgotten everything ive said!!! he was with a friends baby earlier playing and went mental when she took a toy from him and i mean mental, he has never been that bad before and it makes me worried for when my daughter gets to that stage. Another thing i wanted to mention was that he has been covering his ears if something is loud, eg the hairdryer, he even started crying earlier. it wasnt like this before and i should also mention he saw the paediatrician about 2 months ago where he was asssesssed for autistic traits etc and we all agreed he was fine as he didnt display at that time anything other than the speech. in the past he had some obsessive behaviour when playing but not alot else.
Im sorry this is so long but really need to talk to someone who may be able to offer some advice and support as im getting really upset about it. he is also stil lawaiting speech therapy which they are hoping will start next month, he will also be starting a special needs playgroup for his speech.
Well done if u got this far!!!
Natalie :cry: xxxx


  • Huge hugs to you, it is so hard, my little boy is 3 years 4 months old and has lots of problems, the temper tantrums he has are explosive he hits and kicks, spits and screams, time out doesnt work at all with him, we still have to use a buggy for him becuase he also has hypermobile joints and low muscle tone, he also has sensory issues such as covering his ears when there are loud noises and he is very sensitive to light, it could be that your son has some sensory issues too, as for the question of autism, I think it depends on your paed, some people I know have had a really early diagnosis whereas we have been seeing the paed for over 2 years now and although he has said Isaac has several autistic traits he is reluctant to diagnose him at his age. A lot of his temper could be down to frustration at not being able to communicate because of his speech delay, Isaac saw a speech therapist for a while but his language is the one thing that he doesnt have a delay in.

    Hopefully when your son starts playgroup you will get some more support and help, PM me if you want a chat or moan xxxxx
  • thanks so much for ur lovely reply. the tantrums are so hard!!! i hate the looks i get, jayden is very tall and looks more 4/5 which makes it ten times worse!!!
    im hoping things will improve soon, if not im going to go back and say that things have changed and see if they can look at him again. the thing is, an hour appt isnt long enough to diagnose anything is it!!
  • Isaac is very big for his age too, he is only slightly shorter than my daughter who is almost 6 and she is tall for her age, I must admit I have got to the point where I dont care what other people think, when I was having a particularly bad day once and Isaac was kicking off, I turned round and asked thos old bag what she was looking at. People dont realise that their stares and comments really dont help a situation.

    An hour is no where near long enough to diagnose, Isaac has been seeing the paed for 2 years now and we still have no answers, he has had several visits at home and nursery but they never seem to catch him at his worst.

    I would go back and see them, keep a diary of his behaviours even if you think they are not significant, you will be surprised how quickly you build up a picture and it gives the drs something to work on.
  • thats a good idea doing a diary, i will def do that, daddy witnessed some of his recent behaviour today which i was glad about as i was struggling to get him to understand the severity of it. and he realises now why im almost at tears everyday!!
    how do u cope with the tantrums out? we recently got rid of our double buggy as he had got really good but now the tantrums etc have returned with avengence i feel like buying another one!!! i find it hard witha baby at the same time.
    i know what u mean about people staring, i almost started crying in sainsburys car park the other day as he was screaming so badly i was mortified.

  • To be honest I think you just get used to the tantrums, I once had to bring him out of a toddler group because he had been aggressive to the other children, by the time I got half way up the high street I was in tears too, I could feel all the stares of the people in the street and could only imagine what I thought some of the other parents were saying about me, I have now got to the point that I not longer worry what other people think, they dont know him and they dont know me, they have no idea what a battle some days can be, although he has now started swearing at me, I have no idea where he heard it but he has the amazing ability to hear a word once, even at a distance and be able to repeat it, I do get embarrased when he does that as people really do stare.

    As for the issue of a buggy, we have just been given a major buggy by the occupational therapists, party becuase of his tantrums but also because he has hypermobility and he is too heavy for his pushchair now, having a buggy does make it easier as at least he is strapped in and screaming rather than throwing himself on the floor refusing to walk.

    It is hard but somehow we learn to live with it.

    Hugs xxxxx
  • Hi. Just wanted to further explain that the autism vs speech and language delay is complicated by the fact that obsessive behaviours are often seen in children who struggle to understand their environment and the obsessive behaviours are an attempt to make an unpredictable environment a predictable one. This may be due to language comprehension difficulties (speech and language delay or specific language impairment) or autism.

    Here are a few websites that can be a source of support:
  • thankyou for that ill have a look at those. xx
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