🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Options
TO YOUNG FOR CONTROLLED CRYING?PLEASE HELP ASAP!
in Baby
hi could someone please help me...
my lo is 20weeks old and at night, he sleeps fine in his cot, he has a big bottle and goes straight to sleep most of the time, but he isnt going down until about 10pm. when he naps during the day, he doesnt go in his cot and i want him to, he will sleep on me or sometimes in the pushchair which is left in the corridor. i want to get him to bed earlier but we tried for a few nights controlled crying, but it was awful, i put him in the cot and said night and left the room, immediatly he cried, so i went back in 10mins later and rubbed his head and shhh'ed, and left the room again, i did this every 10 mins for an hour and on day one he didnt stop crying the whole time, and in the end i fed him and he went down ok after (when i put him to bed, he seemed tired, not hungry) day 2 did the same and he finally fell asleep 55mins after we started. im just not sure if he is too young for controlled crying? he is a very demanding baby, needs constant attention and if he is left on his own for a second he cries and he wont every play alone, i know that if i go and pick him up he will stop crying straight away! so today decided to try getting him used to the cot, so took him up a while ago and played with him in the cot and when he seemed tired i left the room, and am now going up every 10mins to shhhh and rub his head, he is due a nap. please help i hate leaving him crying but i need him to stop being so clingy!!!
ashy
my lo is 20weeks old and at night, he sleeps fine in his cot, he has a big bottle and goes straight to sleep most of the time, but he isnt going down until about 10pm. when he naps during the day, he doesnt go in his cot and i want him to, he will sleep on me or sometimes in the pushchair which is left in the corridor. i want to get him to bed earlier but we tried for a few nights controlled crying, but it was awful, i put him in the cot and said night and left the room, immediatly he cried, so i went back in 10mins later and rubbed his head and shhh'ed, and left the room again, i did this every 10 mins for an hour and on day one he didnt stop crying the whole time, and in the end i fed him and he went down ok after (when i put him to bed, he seemed tired, not hungry) day 2 did the same and he finally fell asleep 55mins after we started. im just not sure if he is too young for controlled crying? he is a very demanding baby, needs constant attention and if he is left on his own for a second he cries and he wont every play alone, i know that if i go and pick him up he will stop crying straight away! so today decided to try getting him used to the cot, so took him up a while ago and played with him in the cot and when he seemed tired i left the room, and am now going up every 10mins to shhhh and rub his head, he is due a nap. please help i hate leaving him crying but i need him to stop being so clingy!!!
ashy
0
Replies
Pat LO gently on their chest whilst saying 'sssh' in a low voice so they get reassurance from you being nearby, and it will calm them down. When they are relaxed, sit near them until they fall asleep. After 2 or 3 days, move a little further away, so they can still see you but do not have direct` contact with you
Every few days, move a little further away, progressing to standing in the doorway and eventually outside the room, so they know you are there, but do not need to see you or feel you there for comfort.
This worked a treat, but does take a while. I found it a lot easier on my nerves than CC though, it upset me too much to leave her to cry at such a young age.
HTH.
Hannah xx
How long is he awake for before a nap? Does he have any toys in his cot that he can play with before he goes to sleep? My lo has a mobile and a few stuffed toys. Sometimes if he's crying when I put him down I give him a dummy which he just plays with for a bit (doesn't suck it would never have one!), this just keeps him occupied for a bit and I tend to find that if he's not crying when I leave the room he doesn't get that worked up.
Does he have a dummy? He might just be wanting a feed for comfort so a dummy might help there. x
We had a nursery nurse come to see us yesterday about trying to get my lo to sleep longer at night times and stay asleep. We had tried literally EVERYTHING. She told us that normally they sugest CC from 6 months but as we'd tried everything else we cud give it a shot. My lo is 20 weeks this weekend. She said becaue he is young to start with 5 mins and increase to a max of 7 mins.
Hope this helps.
Sxx
We didn't do it then but we did do it (sort of) at about 18 weeks.
We wanted our LO off the dummy, so we let him cry and went in and quickly picked him up, then put him down every 5 mins. The first 2 nights took about an hour of crying but after about a week he was settling himself. He has nearly all his naps in his cot, settling himself now. i do occassionally use the hairdryer if he is having a really bad crying fit too but not often!
It worked for us and we are much happier that he can settle himself to sleep now
ashy x
He's now 11 months old, falls asleep at bedtime all by himself without a whimper and naps in his pram during the day (he still fights naps but no-where near as badly, i just have to rock him for a few minutes, this is far less exhausting than listening to him scream and hanging over his cot patting and shhing him).
He's not demanding at all anymore, he will happily play on his own whlst i get on with things around the house.
Im not saying this is the answer for you but just wanted to share my experience. Babies go through these phases, i don't think you can stop him being clingy, he'll become more independant when he's ready and the more confidence you instill in him now, the quicker it will happen-it won't be like this forever xx
Do you swaddle him? I suppose 20 weeks is a bit late to start but I went back to swaddling for a bit so that lo slept longer for his naps and it worked. It just stopped him getting so wound up because he couldn't fling his arms everywhere! For a bit I used to swaddle him, put him down then if he cried I would pat and shh him. Sometimes it did work but in the end I did resort to cc. x
ashy
With my lo when we first wanted her to sleep in her cot we did it just for naps, so then at night time she didnt panic and get herself all worked up as she wouldnt sleep the night then. To get her to sleep in her cot I used to go in with her for her nap, put on a mobile and just stand with her for a bit. Then i'd walk towards the door with my back to her, if she cried I would talk to her without turning to her. I also used to put her in the exact same outfit as she would wear for bed at first (now she just sleeps in her clothes but still goes in her sleeping bag). After about a week she began napping fine in the cot so then we began the cot for bedtime.
The first night we had to put the moses basket in the cot, but the 2nd night she went straight down with no problems. She has a cuddly toy cat and a muslin cloth in bed (she loves to have these and puts them right up against her face) as these are her security, she then has a musical light projector. We'll read a book, have milk and then she goes to sleep with the projector on.
We have seperate routines now for nap and night, and the mobile is just for naps and the projector for night.
I think perserverence is key with most babies if you are trying to settle them into something they are not used to as as soon as you give in they'll learn what they need to do to get you to do what they want not what you want.