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For those of you who don't have a "routine".
And by that I mean a routine as prescribed by some baby "expert" like Gina Ford or Tracey Hogg.
They really get you where it hurts, just when you are at your most vulnerable. I have spent hours worrying that I will break my baby because she won't fit into the Hoggster's three hourly plan - she doesn't do EASY, more sort of AEASY, or EAEASY or even EEEAEESY. For ages I fretted that this would have the knock on effect of making her a fretful aggitated baby, and would spend days looking at the clock and worrying that we weren't doing what we "should" be at that point.
Then I realised that we DO have a "routine" - it's a bespoke routine that I have fashioned myself based on MY baby's needs. Just because I haven't written a number of best selling books extolling the virtues of my routine over everybody else's doesn't mean its not a valid routine!
So I would love to hear about your "routines" - I might nick them and turn them into a book to torment other first time mums with!
They really get you where it hurts, just when you are at your most vulnerable. I have spent hours worrying that I will break my baby because she won't fit into the Hoggster's three hourly plan - she doesn't do EASY, more sort of AEASY, or EAEASY or even EEEAEESY. For ages I fretted that this would have the knock on effect of making her a fretful aggitated baby, and would spend days looking at the clock and worrying that we weren't doing what we "should" be at that point.
Then I realised that we DO have a "routine" - it's a bespoke routine that I have fashioned myself based on MY baby's needs. Just because I haven't written a number of best selling books extolling the virtues of my routine over everybody else's doesn't mean its not a valid routine!
So I would love to hear about your "routines" - I might nick them and turn them into a book to torment other first time mums with!
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BethBeanie I know just what you mean - we just sort of fell into our own pattern despite me constantly trying to get us to fit into someone else's routine. Silly me.
ILOVEMYGEEK your day sounds lovely can I come to your house for tea? As my mum rightly pointed out to me one day - a too rigid routine means you can't go with the flow - I think it's nice to be able to say to your kiddie "So, what do you fancy doing today?"
I did say I want to meet my baby and work out a routine that is best for them and not what someone else thinks is right for my baby.
I think I have a uphill struggle on my hands! xx
No way would I be dictated to by a random who had met my baby, I'm certainly not going to follow instructions from someone who has never even met my son!
I'm going to write the shortest book on baby routine ever, one of these days. It's going to go like this.
Chapter one - feeding.
Feed your baby when it is hungry. Let it eat as much as it wants. Don't stress over how much your baby is eating, if itis having frequent wet and dirty nappies it is eating enough. Some babies need to eat through the night. Despite the efforts of lauded parenting philosophers, you should not view this as aberrant. Feed your baby when it wants fed.
Chapter two - sleeping.
Let your baby sleep when it wants. Some babies sleep more than others. Observe your baby's preferred sleeping patterns, the pattern your baby prefers is what is 'normal.
Ignore anyone who smugly says their baby slept through from birth. Their next child will probably be up three times a night until it's four.
That's it. What do you think? Will I sell gazillions?
we dont have a routine in any way shape or form, we just go with the flow and so far (touch wood) its working great!!
we are lucky at the moment to get 7 hours at night (although my mum got 9 last time he stayed over.....!!) but my mil keeps telling me we should be getting 12 hours and he should be in a routine by now....aaaargh she drives me nuts, there is only so many times you can agree with her to keep the peace, can see me snapping at her one of these days lol.
(I have 2 boys, 22 months and 16 weeks.)
Then I have a quick shower and get dressed. In this time, hubs feeds the boys breakfast.
Then hubby goes to work and routine ends!!
From this point, we watch some TV, do some colouring, maybe one or both boys take a snooze.
Lunch is around 11:30am to 1:30pm... depends where we are, who we're with and what we are doing!
Then more play - maybe go out... walks, friend's house to play, friends come here... whatever.
Maybe a sleep if ds1 didn't in the morning he will after lunch and ds2 has his afternoon nap.
When hubby gets home we have our tea (about 5:30pm)
The boys have their baths at 6:30pm-7pm and then bed. Dreamfeed ds2 if he needs it.
The days work for us, we have fun and the boys sleep, eat and play well so I have given up tormenting myself over the books that insist I have a routine. My boys are different... they don't want to sleep at the same time. Or eat at the same time. And I have accepted it and got on with it xx
I read the Baby Whisperer and Gina Ford, and whilst I picked up a few bits of advice here and there, they made me feel like a bad Mummy. Hannah was certainly not an EASY baby, eating made her sleep, and activity made her eat. And as for the You part, pfffft! Gina Ford was far too rigid for me. Waking the baby at 7am I have never woken Hannah in all her life, when she is asleep, I get to rest/do ironing/eat sweets in peace.
So I just let her eat when she wanted, and sleep when she wanted. I found quickly that she had a pattern, and would follow that and her cues as my routine. Plus, babies change every few weeks, and I would get stressed if things changed from the "routine".
Sometime in the morning (before it's light usually!) Erin will wake up and shout at me to come and get her, so I stumble out of bed and bring her into bed with me where she'll have a feed and then drift off to sleep again, sometime later she'll wake up and I then spend about ten mins trying to do my best to ignore her in the vain hope she might go off to sleep again. After she's whacked me round the head a couple of times, pulled my hair and tried to latch onto my forehead I eventually concede and our day starts... we then do all sorts of fun crap until she goes to bed that evening, during the day she eats when she's hungry and sleeps when she's tired... and it works beautifully for us... Gina Ford would probably have a fit if she came to our house!
I did however, read both CLB and BW when I was pregnant and thought that each had some sensible ideas but when Erin came along I just did what felt right and haven't picked up either book since!
I am a great believer of routine for older babies but think it is a load of faff for newborns, feed them when they are hungry hug them when they want as they are only tiny for a wee while. Our routine works for us and our wee family whereas ohter mummy friends have different ones that work for them, I think every one when they look at it does have some sort of loose routine but it has to fit around you and your family not a woman in a book xx
edited to say loving my non use of punctuation enjoy reading!