Very Poignant Mothers Day

x-plumduff-x · Apr 6, 2011 10:40AM

I got a call from my mum this morning saying my grandma died in the night

We knew it would happen soon she's been really ill since christmas but it was still sudden to us because it's not like she deteriorated in the last few days or anything. I feel bad that I haven't cried, i'm very sad obviously but part of me is relieved more than anything. The grandma I knew died at the same time as my grandad 5 years ago. She had dementia which got worse over the last few years and was made even more worse by her anxiety issues so she relied heavily on my mum who was devoting so much of her life to it. Now she isn't suffering anymore and my mum has got her life back - does that sound awful? What i'm finding more upsetting is that i'm having trouble remembering her before the dementia it was just all consuming.

Just wanted to offload, pretty much all my family knows but still didn't want to put it on facebook. No need to reply.

KouklaMoo · Apr 4, 2011 2:36AM

I'm so sorry Plumduff. Don't feel bad for not crying, she was obviously not the same person she was 5 yrs ago and generally when that's the case I think it's only natural to feel somewhat relieved when our loved ones pass away. It doesnt mean you don't care. Thinking of you honey. Xx

angel100 · Apr 4, 2011 3:19AM

So sorry hun. sending hugs, dont feel bad for not crying, it doesnt mean you dont care, its so hard when someone special deteriorates like that, its like you loose them over a number of years. Just remember if you need to offload we are all herexxxxxx

JodiBump · Apr 4, 2011 4:20AM

Sorry sorry for the sad news. Like the others have said you have grieved for this moment over the 5 years so it's nit supprising there are no tears.

It's always hard when someone goes like this I was a mix of emotions when my nab died as it was upsetting but at the same time a relief as it was what she wanted (the pain to go).

Think of you and your family, big hug.

x-plumduff-x · Apr 4, 2011 5:07AM

thanks ladies all I can say really is that i'm glad she got to meet Dexter when she still had some idea of who he was. She got pneumonia and had a stroke at christmas so since then she struggled to know who anyone is including me and my dad.

Dancing_like_a_Muppet · Apr 4, 2011 2:45PM

Oh bless you......

thinking of you but as you say she got to see Dexter.

try and look at some older photos of when she was well and with your grandad - they will be the memories you want to remember.....

My mum also was looking after my nana at the end and my parents didn't go on holiday for years as they couldn't leave her.....She died 10 years ago in June..... My parents now go on at least 3 holidays a year and I don't blame them....

DLAM xxxx

x-plumduff-x · Apr 4, 2011 5:59PM

DLAM my DH's parents are the same they look after their parents still. It's really hard. I think a part of my mum is glad because it means she'll be able to have Dexter more often without feeling guilty that she should be visiting my grandma. I saw my cousins today and we were all of the same mind about how we feel about it so thats a relief to me at least.

This is one of my favourite pics of me and her - I think I was 2 or 3.

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/200750_10150491696460268_589765267_17590419_7393055_n.jpg

sarahl1980 · Apr 5, 2011 5:22AM

So sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with u. Big hugs x

LittleChickpea · Apr 6, 2011 10:40AM

How truely sad.. You sound very strong, big hugs x x x

Very Poignant Mothers Day

Replies