Forum home Talk To Us Expert Q&As

Fertility webchat, Monday 10th October, 12-1pm

Having trouble trying for a baby? Finding the experience stressful and looking for support?

Fertility emotional support expert Sarah Holland will be at hand to answer all your questions in a LIVE WEBCHAT on Monday 10th October between 12-1pm.

Don't worry if you can't make that date. Leave your question below and Sarah will endeavour to answer as many questions as possible on the day...


  • Hello everyone!

    I'll be here from 12-1pm today to answer your questions. If you're trying to conceive through fertility issues and are finding the whole experience emotional and stressful, I'd love to speak to you.

  • We'll be starting in just 5 minutes, so feel free to ask your questions now!

  • Hello

    My name's Sarah Holland and I'm here for the next hour to answer your questions about fertility issues. I support people going through infertility and help them overcome the difficult emotions, using a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

    Feel free to ask questions about this or anything else to do with fertility and I'll do my best to help you!

  • Hi Sarah, do you think EFT can help to improve your chances when having IVF?
  • Hello felinejade

    Yes I do believe that EFT, or any other effective stress managment technique, can help improve the chances of IVF success. It's well recognised that the body functions best when it is not under extreme stress, and everyone who goes through IVF wants to be as relaxed as possible during treatment, especially during the delicate procedure of embryo transfer.

    However it is often easier said that done, and it can feel impossible to 'relax' when going through stressful and often uncomfortable procedures.

    EFT is a fantastic technique because it's very simple to use, and can not only help you become calmer before any part of your IVF treatment, but you can also use it while you're 'on the table' to keep you calm and relaxed.

    So yes, I'd recommend using it before and during IVF treatment.

  • Fertility support tip: Listen to the things you say to yourself about your fertility. Do you say negative words like ???????I don't think I'll ever get pregnant??????? or ???????it's my fault for being too fat/thin/unhealthy???????? If you say things to yourself that you wouldn't accept from a friend, it's time to turn that negative self-talk into positive, encouraging words. image
  • Hi Sarah,

    I've just been through an unsuccessful round of IVF and found the whole experience really hard going - from the tests, injections, to then finding out it didn't work. I know it was only a one in 3 chance but I had really got my hopes up that it would work first time. I'm not sure I can face going through endless cycles. My partner doesn't seem that down about it and keeps saying 'It was only the first time', but he doesn't really know what it's like to be prodded and poked about. I feel he's being a bit insensitive. How can I pick myself up after this?
  • Thanks Sarah, I am keen to try it but I am worried about looking silly image

    I am due to start IVF at the end of this month and I am starting to stress out about it, I will give it a try! Although I think I am too shy to do it in front of other people.


  • Hello tashasbaby and thank you for your question. When you say that you've had two 21 day tests done based on a 30 day cycle, do you mean that they tested on day 21 of 30 days? the "day 21" test is to test progesterone levels to confirm ovulation. However this test needs to be taken at 7 days after ovulation, and day 21 would only be accuarate if you ovulate on day 14.

    It sounds like you are aware of the ovulating signs to look for, so do you feel confident about the actual day YOU ovulate? If so, advise your doctor that you're aware this test needs to be done at 7dpo (not just day 21) and can you be tested on xx day as this will be 7 days after for you.

    If this is what you have already tried and he still won't move from day 21, you may want to consult another doctor or take in some evidence to back up this fact. Toni Weschler's book (and website) Taking Charge Of Your Fertility is a great resource.

    Good luck and I hope you get the results you are looking for.

  • Hi Sarah - Me and my husband have been TTC for three years we have had tests done which showed that my hubby had a sperm head malformation in 80% of his swimmers. Our GP couldn't really give us much information on what that would mean for us. We have been referred on to a specialist but unfortunetly we have to wait 6 months for an appointment. Is there a anything he could take that would increase the amount of healthy swimmers?
  • Hello Carapops17

    I hear you, and understand how you must be feeling right now. It sounds like your partner is being very practical about the treatment whereas you're the one who has to face going through another cycle and all that entails.

    You say that you're not sure you can face going through endless cycles, and that's understandble. Could you and your partner have a chat about how many more cycles, if any, feel right for you? Setting a limit can be helpful, and then you will have a set number to look ahead to rather than an unknown quantity.

    When dealing with the trauma of needles, tests and procedure EFT is a really helpful technique to help you feel less anxious and more calm and in control. If you're not familiar with EFT (also called Tapping) you can find out more on my website at Once you use a technique like this to deal with all the excess emotion attached to IVF, you should then be able to look at your options more clearly and make rational decision.

    Good luck.

  • Hello again felinejade

    Yes you're right, EFT does look a bit silly! But luckily you can do all the hard work at home, preparing yourself for the treatment. And then if you do want to use it during a procedure there are discreet ways you can use it such as holding points rather than tapping or even just imagining tapping the points (and yes this still works)... or just don't worry because it's likely the doctor's focus will be down the 'business end' of things and they won't even notice what you're doing!

  • Hello wanabamama

    Thank you for your question and before I answer I want to point out that I'm neither a doctor nor a nutritionist. However I do know that diet and lifestyle factors seems to have a real impact on sperm health.

    Some practical things he could try are:

    - avoiding hot bath, saunas, laptop on lap, mobile phone in pockets, wearing tight pants - anything really that creates heat. Sperm like a cool environment.

    - cutting out caffeine and alcohol.

    - taking a really good fertility supplement especially for mal fertility, as these contain amino acids which are thought to help build healthy sperm. This brand is recommended by Dr Marilyn Glenville, a top nutritionist for fertility:

    I hope this helps you on your way before you next see a doctor.

  • Fertility support tip: Do you have a good support network around you? Choose friends and family who you know will be able to give practical or emotional support. Choose wisely and I'm sure you'll be pleased you let people into your -secret' of infertility.
  • Hi Sarah,

    We've been trying for our first baby for over 6 months now and are beginning to lose hope of conceiving naturally.

    Would you mind explaining EFT in a bit more detail. We're willing to try anything!!

  • Hi Sarah,

    I have type 1 diabetes with an Hb1ac reading of 8.7. I have been trying for over a year to get the reading to 7.0 in order to start trying for a baby. Although it is shifting in the right direction, I am frustrated it is taking so long - what risks are there to conceiving with slightly raised blood-sugars?
  • Thanks for your help I will get him on the supliments asap, he is terrible for sitting with the laptop on this lap so I will let him know what can effect his swimmers - hopefully we will see at least a slight improvement on his next tests.
  • Hello Sarah

    I/we have been blessed with a child already but we desperately want a sibling for him. We've been TTC for nearly a year now [I'm 36] Conception was practically instant last time, and naturally it's putting strain on my other half to 'perform' and I don't know what to say for the best. Obviously our chances of conceiving increase the more intercourse we have but it's getting to the point where it's difficult for us to even 'do it' without causing a row. Any tips at all?


  • Hello wonderwoman47

    I'd be happy to explain more about EFT, and as you say you are beginning to lose hope this could be an ideal technique for you to give you some support emotionally at this difficult time.

    EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques and is also sometimes just called 'Tapping'. It's based on the same energy system as acupuncture, the meridians, but there are no needles involved (there are more than enough needles already involved in fertility tests and treatment!) Instead EFT utilises a gentle tapping technique, that you do yourself, on stress release points on the face, the upper body and the hands.

    It's a very simple technique to learn and use yourself for on the spot stress release, and can be used with a therapist such as myself to work on more in depth issues such as potential emotional blocks to conception, or dilemas and decisions you are facing.

    The tapping on these points clears us of excess negative emotions - and these are feelings that we don't need and are not helping us in any way - to bring back a sense of calm and a more rational, logical way of looking at things.

    I feel it's invaluable on the fertility journey - I know I wouldn't have wanted to be without it myself, and I've seen it turnaround the emotions of so many people and help them move forward positively on their journey to parenthood.

    I hope that helps give you an overview. If you want to see EFT in action you can view my videos at

  • Hello redruth78 and thank you for your question.

    Well done for taking positive action and getting your blood sugars moving in the right direction. As I'm not a doctor I can't comment on diabetes and pregnancy, and I advise you to go back to your doctor to ask about any potential risks.

    I wish you well,

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions