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Have a massive problem.
I am a regular user of this forum but i have changed my name as i feel so stupid for getting myself in a terrible situation, i had my baby in August so he is just over 4 months old and im pretty sure im pregnant again. We have been using the withdrawal method until my hubby goes for the snip, i know its not a contraceptive method, we only did it a couple of times and it took us a while to conceive all my pregnancys so just never thought it would happen to me,I just cant have another baby! We have 3 already, we could probably just afford another, my oh has a good job im a stay at home mum but i just cannot do it, i dont think i could cope with another, i dont have family to help, my mum died a few years ago and we dont speak to hubbys family. We ar on our own. I wanted to start concentraing and raising my family after number 3. I cant bring myself to test, i know it will be positive, i will just crumple i just dont know what to do. I have`nt had a period yet, i had what im sure was implatation bleeding about 8 weeks ago, im exhautsed and dizzy. I have been putting it to the back of my mind for so long, i know it sounds awful but i just cannot cope with another little one, i love my children dearly but its such hard work every single day, another one wouldnt be fair on the others. Ive been so stupid, i dont know what to do.
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We had this shortly after our daughter was born, we would have had 2 under 1 and my husband went crazy saying we couldn't afford it, it was too soon, blah blah blah and end ended in a massive arguement as we had always planned more children (we were also using withdrawal!!!)
Anyway, I took a test and it was actually negative so the stress and heartache was for nothing.
I would say you should start by doing a test, it could be nothing for you too and then once you have a result pos or neg you can then think about your options.
Take care!
oh hun you didnt need to change your name, this is more common than you think, tbh I was thinking that someone from DIA would be in this position. The last thing on our minds is sex and contraception with a new baby and the moment can sneak up on you.
We had unprotected sex 4 weeks ago - im bf but little one is going through the night now so my protection from that will go down. There is a little voice at the back of my mind but im ignoring it as im not having periods, have no symptoms and it would be seriously bad luck. I was prescibed the mini pill and didnt take it as i figured i had fairly good protection from bf, we would rarely have sex and it took us a while to conceive when ttc.
Just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one to take a slight risk (and it was slight, it will be very bad luck if you are pregnant). Are you BF? as that may well have stopped you ovulating.
My LO is 4 months too - he's my first - and id be initially very scared and upset if i was pregnant again now as it would be so overwhelming, so with 3 already what you say is totally understandable.
Its also true that when you can start to fear something it becomes harder and harder to believe anything else - its easy said but you do need to test as this whole black cloud may well lift!
If you are pregnant, as painful as it is, there are options and you can only start to work through them if you know :roll: i know the reality will be tough but you would not give birth to this baby for some time yet and you may start to feel differently. If not, there are other difficult things you'll need to face but you have your three beautiful children to put first and no one has any right to judge you. Big hugs and please keep in touch to let us know what's happened xx
Also, for people using bf as a method of contraception.....I know 4 mummys who got pg very quickly after a baby while bfing!!
i wasn't encouraging anyone to use bf as contraception, but the hormones do inhibit the hormones that make you ovulate to an extent so was just thinking this might have had some affect for blue 109. bf is 96% effective when bf 4 hourly in the day and 6 hourly at night. but as babies vary their patterns so much this percentage can easily fall so it is easy to see where things go wrong xx
I do agree that it took us a while all the other times but how can you explain no period since baby was born and just a very slightbrown bleed a few months ago and the fact that im absolutly wiped out all the time! We have both been putting it to the back of our minds for ages so im going to test this morning, have just collected first wee but have no tests so going to pop out and get one in a bit. Im terrified, i feel like a naughty teenager whos in trouble, i feel so stupid to be in this situation pregnant or not!
sorry just seen your post really sorry xxxxx
Have you got a guestimate of how many weeks you are? Hopefully you will have lots of time to make an informed decision about what you want to do. I can't imagine what you must be going through - your head must be a complete mixing bowl!
I really dont think i could ever go down a termination route.
Im pretty sure we will be keeping this baby although i have no idea how we will do it.
Totally g/c, but just wanted to wish you all the best. It makes sense that you feel calmer now you know for sure, dealing with the unknown is always worse.
You might not know how you'll do it, but you always do, don't you? You have three already so have a rough idea what you're in for, and the initial costs will be minimal as you'll already have everything.
I hope you get the support you need from your OH, and you will get all the support you need on here as well xx
No one can judge you for any decision you make for the good of your own family, if you do decide to go ahead, you're a strong woman and a fab mummy and like sscn says - theres always a way.
just think of all the terrible situations people bring children into, you are in a marriage with a loving family.
Im sorry it wasnt the news you wanted but if you carry on with the pregnancy im sure, as with all your other babies, life would be unimaginable any other way once LO is here.
Big massive hugs, give yourself time and space to get used to things, no one can swallow this quickly. Get all the right people on board to support you, don't let anyone close who might be judgemental.
The ladies on here will always be here too xxx
Wishing you all the luck with your growing family!!
I have been working out our finanaces and have cut down on alot of the no nessesary things like internet tv and phones, We have to look at 7 seater cars which will be more on petrol and insurance a month. I still dont know how we`re going to do it but we will just have to go month to month and just cope. Im off to the docs tomorrow to get the ball rolling on midwife and scans as i have no idea how far along i am.
Funnily enough the main thing i am concerned about is what people are going to think, i just know people are going to judge us. :?
found out yesterday im pregnant already have a almost 3 yr old and a 4 1/2 mnth old so confused to do whats best for my family me and my husband are discussing it further tonight.
Sounds silly but as the condom split and MAP failed it kinda says to me that this baby is ment to be... Everything happens for a reason i spose....
Hope you have a h&h pregnancy and good luck xxx
One thing I will mention is that DH & I switched our car from a 5seat Ford Focus to a 7seat Ford Grand C-Max last year. The tax is exactly the same & we only paid ??16 more for annual insurance so not as bad as we thought. Cars like the Ford Grand C-Max & Vauxhall Zaffira are 7 seaters but are sold as 'family cars' so the insurance markets cater for exactly that.
On another note, a friend of mine has made the same slip up twice & is due baby no.5 in June.
blue109 and mumma22beauboys what has happened to you both can happen to anyone, you're in stable relationships with children already, it really isnt anyones business to judge you. sending lots of hugs as with only one bubba at 4 and a half months i can only imagine the shock and difficulty you're both facing.
blue 109 glad you are starting to work through things in your own mind - what you are going to do will be hard but not impossible, and you know from having children already that once this bubba is here it will all feel it has played out the way it was meant to. Have you told family, etc?
mumma22beauboys i hope you manage to come to a decision over what to do, im sure you will put your young family first whatever you decide. xx