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Devastated and need advice

Well, I haven't been on here for a while because I wanted to spend xmas relaxing and enjoying time with my hubby and family without thinking constantly about babies, ttc etc. Anyway, last week I had my laparoscopy to see if they could find a cause for our lack of baby, and the findings have knocked the wind out of my sails.

They found:

1) A cyst on my ovary (easily drained and not an issue in my mind)

2) A lot of old, brown blood in my uterus that my body isn't expelling during each af. I was told that it will most likely turn into endometriosis.

3) I have one blocked fallopian tube.

I feel absolutely devastated. I just feel like everything is against us and I have been crying on and off ever since. If it was just the blocked tube then I could cope knowing that it would probably take a while, but we would probably conceive naturally in the end. However, if my uterus is covered in old blood, then how is anything going to implant healthily in that kind of stagnant environment. Is it possible for me to still get pregnant naturally with old blood in me or have I got to accept that our only chance is IVF? Does anyone have any experience with this or got any suggections about how to improve the condition of my uterus and its lining. I spoke to my accupuncturist and she is going to do some work on cleaning it out of me but I just feel so down and I can't get out of this slump where I honestly don't believe I will ever be able to have a child, IVF or not. To make matters worse, my follow up appt isn't until the end of March. I have so many questions and no answers until then.

I hate this whole wretched experience. I thought TTC was supposed to be fun :cry:


  • Hi Bibby,

    Sorry to hear that the outcome of your lap wasnt as positive as you'd hoped.

    I know it must feel like there is no hope right now, but the problems they found can be rectified cant they? I know its hard, but just try stay positive, easier said than done I know. I have to say it to myself everyday. Try take your mind off it by concentrating on other things and looking on the bright side of life. I have started decorating my house and have signed up to do a 100km walk in may, as my way of distracting myself from the ttc. With each month that goes on that we are unsuccessful it takes me longer to get over the disappointment. Somedays i just cant cope with it all. It just helps knowing that there are others that are going through the same thing and talking and venting really helps.

    Sorry I cannot offer any real advice to you, but I didnt want to just read and run and just wanted you to know that we are here. Hope you fell better soon x
  • Thanks for the message of support, kelbel. It does help. I think I am just feeling so frustrated because I need to speak to someone about ways to improve my chances now, not in 10 weeks! They have already said that even if they did unblock my tube, I had less chance of having a baby this way than through IVF. Maybe to do with ectopic pregnancy risk??? I think I am going to try and contact the consultant before I drive myself round the bend!

    Thanks again x
  • Bibby, I'm sorry to hear your so down about everything. Its a lot to take in at once. Have you had a hsg as well as a lap & dye to check your tubes? I only say because I had a hsg first, which was clear, but during my lap and dye they couldn't get dye through one of my tubes, but said it was ok, as it was clear on hsg.

    Also, I'm sure they can do a D&C at a later date to clear out your uterus- probably can't do it alongside a Laparoscopy. I had that done 10 years ago when I had period problems and its like a spring clean!

    I hope you manage to speak to your consultant.

    T x
  • I just wanted to say that I am sorry you are going through this. I don't know if this will help but I have only one ovary due to the other one being clubbed and the fallopian tube blocked and I did manage to conceive. My mum has endrometiosis too and she had an op to remove the scarred tissue and she went on to conceive my brothers. It sounds like you have a lot going on at once, but don't give up hope just yet, there will be an answer, athough im sorry you have to wait 10 weeks to get it xxx
  • Thanks to both of you, WindyMiller and Glitterbug, for your helpful and reassuring advice. You have both made me feel a lot better about the whole situation. I think I was just so shocked when they told me about the blocked tube and brown blood, and then they suggested IVF as the next option, that I kind of felt defeated and like my body didn't stand a chance. I guess I just need to arm myself with information ready for the next appt...I've got a whole 10 weeks to prepare myself!
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