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Smoking around our new babies :-/
Afternoon all
This is my first post on the site for aaaaages, as I have had a long and stressful journey on the way to becoming a mummy and so haven't wanted to tempt fait!!!
As the time approaches (4weeks to go), I am getting more and more stressed about the potential for family rifts re smoking habits around our precious little girl!!
My mil has said a few times that she wants the baby to stay at hers and for her to babysit at hers, but she only confines her smoking to one room/out the back door, when one of her grandchildren is actually there and to me- that's just not good enough, as the house still smells strongly of smoke.
I just don't know whether to engineer visits so that they come to us (where smoking only goes on outside) or make a point of saying prior to the birth, that contact will only really take place at our house?!?!
Whilst I don't want to make a big deal about it, it is something we both feel strongly about and Whilst we would prefer to just have it happen naturally that we have them to visit here, mil has made it clear she wants to babysit etc at her house, so I don't think we can ignore it much longer.... :?
Any ideas on a peaceful resolution very welcome!!!
Thanks for reading and I hope we are all nicely settling into maternity leave
Emma x
This is my first post on the site for aaaaages, as I have had a long and stressful journey on the way to becoming a mummy and so haven't wanted to tempt fait!!!
As the time approaches (4weeks to go), I am getting more and more stressed about the potential for family rifts re smoking habits around our precious little girl!!
My mil has said a few times that she wants the baby to stay at hers and for her to babysit at hers, but she only confines her smoking to one room/out the back door, when one of her grandchildren is actually there and to me- that's just not good enough, as the house still smells strongly of smoke.
I just don't know whether to engineer visits so that they come to us (where smoking only goes on outside) or make a point of saying prior to the birth, that contact will only really take place at our house?!?!
Whilst I don't want to make a big deal about it, it is something we both feel strongly about and Whilst we would prefer to just have it happen naturally that we have them to visit here, mil has made it clear she wants to babysit etc at her house, so I don't think we can ignore it much longer.... :?
Any ideas on a peaceful resolution very welcome!!!
Thanks for reading and I hope we are all nicely settling into maternity leave
Emma x
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Replies
This is such an emotive issue isn't it. My best friends mum has always smoked heavily & my friend actually told her that if she still smoked she wouldn't be allowed to look after the baby due to the harm lingering gases etc can do. She has amazingly been quit smoking now for 6 months! Whilst that is quite extreme I can totally understand it. Thankfully none of our family or close friends smoke so it isn't an issue for us but I think it is something that you & your OH need to decide about and stick to your guns with otherwise if your child does develop something like asthma (soooooo common and not at all always linked to smoking), then you will always wonder & question your decision. I would maybe print out information to show your mil why you have an issue with it & just explain as gently (but firmly) as possible what you want. Things like this are too important to not say anything for fear of causing upset.
Good luck....
Might have another chat with dh and get something planned out :-/
Thanks again- ps your baby looks lovely & content there
Emma x
They still insist on smoking in a closed room, with all the windows shut, with my niece and nephew in the room though, but my SIL is a total moron so doesnt surprise me in the slightest. MIL has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and we had to spell out to them why her stopping smoking, and them NOT smoking round her was vitally important in her not dying!!
They did try the "we only smoke out the back door" thing, but I said the house still stank of smoke, so that wasnt good enough. MIL tried to do that at at our house and was most put out to be kicked up the bum by DH out into the garden and the door firmly shut on her!! I also make anyone who smokes wash their hands before they touch the baby...mind you, I've also had to remind MIL and in-laws that it might be a nice idea to wash their hands after changing nappies - they're not the cleanest bunch!!
its a choice they make to harm their bodies, not my childs. Even the smell makes me gag so i avoid anyone that smokes in all honesty.
I raised it with dh last night and he said he will tackle it and just tell it like it is- the baby won't be exposed to smoke in any form, as long as we can help it and that will mean she has to change her ways!
Will see what the fallout is....
Thanks again xx
I was worried too as my MIL and FIL both smoked heavily in the house but decided to give up about a year ago and have stuck with it so that's great! I was worried as she had already said about having a spare room just for the baby but I knew I wasn't going to loet a baby sleep there unless something happenend about the smoking. So now it has I have no need to worry.
It is your baby...sod everyone else! If they can't see where you arfe coming form and will fall out about it then tough luck to them...but I am sure it won't come to that.
Hope it goes ok x
Good luck with the births ladies- I'm not far behind you Sophie
Xx