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Those with Velcro babies- when do they grow out of it?

B is 3 months old and still has to be held at all tines or she will cry and scream. I would love to be able to cuddle her all day but I also have a two year old who has definitely hit the terrible twos stage and we've just put our house up for sale so I now need to keep it constantly tidy. 

ive got a baby bjorn carrier but it's not very practical to get housework done as you can't really bend down/lean forward without it feeling like she's not very secure. I think I'm going to have to give in and get a sling. But I'm just wondering how much longer she will be so clingy for. 

If you had a Velcro baby when did they get better with being happy to be put down, and did you have to train them into it or did they just decide one day they felt happy on their own. 

I don't know what to do for best, do I just keep holding her all the time and she will one day feel happy enough to be put down, or do I need to be forcing her to get used to being out down ( I have tried this but she's got a  lot of stamina and can cry constantly for over 40 mins until I give in and pick her up, she will never ever get tired of it and fall asleep)

Please tell me the end is in sight as I'm really finding every day so hard at the moment!


  • JT, I really wish I had the answer for you. I'm absolutely no help as I'm in a very similar situation to you - we've just moved house and everything is still in boxes and needs putting a way I have a Velcro Refluxy 4 !month old who can't be put down for longer than 5 minutes and an 18 month old who if tantrum throwing was an Olympic sport would win gold every time! They've both got colds at the moment and yesterday I was sat on the sofa with one on each knee crying (with me in the middle crying too!) Hopefully someone will be along to give a solution but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and to offer a big hug - I've currently 1 arm free for hugs at the moment as my toddler is napping! x

  • She's only tiny, it's not surprising she wants to be near you and feel your warmth, hear your heartbeat and so on.

    I did loads of cleaning using a proper sling, could Hoover, iron, empty/stack dishwasher etc, I wouldn't have been without it.

    I'm not sure when he outgrew it tbh as I was quite happy to ignore the housework and sit and cuddle him (won't be as easy this time) but it did get easier.

  • Oh and not to put a dampner on things but I can't even go for a wee without my 18 month old coming with me as its just too long for me to be away apparently!!! x

  • Alex is 1 and still pretty Velcro, likes me to carry him around and won't be put down on the floor unless he's in the right mood.

    He got a bit better around 5/6 months when he could sit up, and a bit better again when he learned to crawl. But I still can't really cook or clean as he is so clingy.

  • Oh dear saisi I was hoping when they learnt how to be mobile they would be happy to be put down :(

    MamaD I should count myself lucky as I'm still able to wee in peace ( most of the time)

  • Sorry! It is really hard, especially when I meet mums with more placid babies, I get very jealous.

  • For example he'll cry when I leave a room, although he CAN follow me... sometimes he does (still crying) but sometimes he'll sit there crying and I think "WTF you've been crawling for 5 months just COME WITH ME, FOOL!"

  • Saisi that really made me laugh!!! I have to agree though, E was better at about 6/7 months when she started crawling but when she to about 13 months separation anxiety set in. It's not enough for her to be next to me she wants picking up all the time, even if I've already got A in my arms. And noone else is good enough - if my H goes into her in the night if she wakes or when she wakes in the morning she starts crying and shouting mamamamamama! Sorry jellytot, I'm not really helping much am I?!  

  • You've gotta laugh, or else cry! Big Smile A really SCREAMS if H tries to comfort him in the night!

  • W is the total opposite and learnt to self settle very early, slept through the night, loved sleeping in her cot, basically the perfect baby! And everyone always told me I would pay for it with baby number two and it's true, she is the total opposite, I'm glad she wasn't the first born or she may have been an only child!!!

  • C was like your first and S like your 2nd so i totally empathise. I would advise a decent sling or carrier if you're used to a bb. A better carrier will hold her more securely and i managed to do all sorts with her in it. I still use it now for the school run, although she walks well, as she likes being up high looking around and chatting to me, so you'd get your money's worth! S isn't as clingy now and will happily wander  off to play with other children etc, but only if i'm within eyeshot. She hates being in a different room to me and follows me around, often wanting picking up. She's fine when i'm not there though. X

  • My nine month sometimes is happy to play on the floor but other times wails.  If she crawls into another room that is fine as she left me but the other way round and she loses it!!

    Like Saisi it makes me laugh that she can follow me and now I just speak constantly so she can follow my voice to find me.

    My first was clingy and didn't crawl till she was about a year so that was annoying as she would just sit on the floor crying and couldn't try to follow me.

    I have got good at doing things one handed!!  It does pass eventually!

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