emergency c under general anaesthetic

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  Little-Miss-Chatterbox

  Apr 29, 2008 8:29AM

  I had an emergency c sect under a g/a with my first daughter 3 years ago.
  
  I had similar problems in labour, heart rate dropped, mec in waters, i'd had a spinal block in labour to put in my epidural but her heart rate descended and did not pick up before my epidural had chance to kick in so i was knocked out in theatre. My husband was given gowns and then told to change again as he was not allowed to come in.
  
  I was very fortunate that she didn't need to go to special care. Hubby went home to catch up on kip and i spent the whole day in recovery, drifting in and out of sleep, delerious with a screaming baby who was in a cot about 4 feet away and i couldn't get to her!
  
  My initial feelings were that i felt a failure for not being able to push her out even though i was 10cm dilated in labour. I felt guilty that hubby had missed it and that neither of us spent time with her during her first precious moments in the world.
  
  I had trouble bonding with her as i felt like i had just been handed a baby. No one could say they had seen that she came from me, she looked just like us but it felt strange. I did bond but it took longer than i thought it would. Then i felt guilty that i had not bonded with her straight away and these feelings eventually brought on mild PND.
  
  I felt that there was never anyone i could talk to as fortunately an emergency c sect under a g/a is very unlikely and very unlucky.
  
  I was always happy that the decision had been made to get her out when they did as the outcome could have been much worse if she had been left any longer but i still beat myself up about it too.
  
  I've recently had my second daughter by elective c sect and the experience was amazing. It has totally pushed my first experience to the back of mind as until then i would think about it daily. I bonded with her instantly which was wonderful but has also made me realise how much i missed out on with my first daughter in those first precious weeks.
  
  You are kind of grieving for missing the most important event in your life - the birth of your child.
  
  I hope you start to feel better soon. x

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  justmarried

  Apr 29, 2008 12:22PM

  thanks for your replies. i totally agree that i am grieving for the birth of ny baby and i know we are lucky etc but had visions of that skin to skin contact and moment where we find out sex etc. we were luckily treated fantastically (russells hall, dudley) and even had help to stimulate and collect milk to send to the other hosp. i too though felt odd when i first saw him as like you noone had seen him come out of me if that makes sense? one minute you are preg the next empty with a baby you never pushed out. it's also made me scared about child birth as contractions so painful yet never had the euphoria of having pushed baby out. felt oddly possessive and yet detached from son when came home and turned into control freak trying to organise everything. now i know i was suffreing with the blues as didn't feel anything when he cried, except annoyance and frustration. didn't even fel love, which is odd as when he was on life support i was willing him to pull through each day and loved him so much. thankfully things are lots better but i do feel we should be offered a counselling sesion to talk about it. i thhink only moms and dads who've exp it can understand x

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  Little-Miss-Chatterbox

  Apr 29, 2008 4:13PM

  I felt exactly the same. I was breast feeding yet i expressed every feed as i could not face feeding her myself. Eventually my milk dried up and then i felt a failure for not being able to provide her with my own milk. Husband would get up to her all through the night even though he was working full time. I too felt frustrated and tired when she cried. I loved her but felt detatched from her and seeing the bond grow between my daughter and my husband was heart wrenching.
  
  The only consolation i have now is knowing that I truely love her with all my heart and that those initial feelings did not last for long. She will always have a very special bond with her daddy but it's beautiful and now i know that there is room for me too!
  
  I too really think parents should be offered counselling for this. This is the first time i've been able to really talk about it (hence the essay replies!) and it's really helped me so thank you for raising the topic. x
  
  

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  Carol-AnnGurney

  Apr 30, 2008 8:46AM

  oh my goodness, I was literally talking to oh about how women who have traumatic labour/birth should be offered counselling, I'm so glad others agree and it's not just me feeling hard done by.
  
  I also had a emergency c-section under g/a. lo's heartbeat had dropped once through labour, but came back fine, then after being examined as contractions had practically stopped after having an epidural, they completely lost his heartbeat, they tried to put the monitor thing on his head instead but couldn't find the piece to attach to the machine!!! It was awful when they'd pulled the emergency button and it seemed like hundreds of mw's came flying into my room. I just begged them not to let my baby die, they said they'd have to do a c-section and ran down the corridor shouting stuff at me, that I couldn't hear cos I was in such a state about whether my baby was going to be ok. When in the theatre I was surrounded by people doing all sorts (preparation) but without telling me what they were doing, I was so scared. They found the heartbeat again and said oh could come in and g/a wasn't necessary. They kept spraying my tummy with cold stuff to see if I could feel it, check that the spinal block was working, but I could still feel it everytime, so they thought the thing in my back had fallen out, but it hadn't, the cold stuff started to feel less, and cos I just wanted him out I said it was fine, so they started, but I could feel it, I tried to hold out but couldn't take it and told them that I could feel it, so oh was dragged back out and I was put under.
  
  Woke up in recovery with noone around, freaking out, not knowing, eventually told lo was ok and asked them to bring him, they said they weren't allowed, and I'd see him when I was taken back to the ward, fighting against the drowsiness to stay awake so I could finally see him, after about 4hrs I was taken back to the ward and oh went to get him from special care as my mum had noticed his breathing was squeaky. They just thought he was full of mucas, later that night I'd called the doctor cos his breathing didn't seem right, they said he was fine but couldn't explain why his breathing was so loud and squeaky, 7 weeks later I found out by luck that he had a floppy larynx, having asked mw, hv, paedetrician, gp etc during that time. Luckily it's something that will get better/stronger on it's own with time/age & he no longer sounds like a squeaky toy
  
  But I thought their after care was awful, lo didn't sleep at night for the 3 nights I was in hosp and I was knackered, crying (me that is) on the 3rd night, was told I'd prob end up with pnd - after that I ended up leaving lo with another mw and walking out the hosp to call oh to come and get us. It was hard to bond with him as also diff to b/f, not helped by floppy larynx - which we didn't know at the time.
  
  I completely understand that the c-section was necessary and can only praise them for acting so quick and delivering lo safely, but feel totally robbed as a woman that I wasn't able to do it myself, or even see his delivery. Sil and friend both had natural births in Jan, that brought it all back to me and I was so jealous, obviously happy for them that they didn't have to go through anything I did, but so so envious of them.
  
  Can you tell that's the first time I've let it all out )- sorry to go on so much - I couldn't stop once I started! x

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  Team_Blue_aka_doublebubble

  May 9, 2008 6:43AM

  Hey. Had similar experinence with my twins, severe pre-eclampsia set in quickly and spinal didnt work so had GA, Boys whisked to SCBU didnt see them for 12 hours. I felt it hard to bond to begin with but the the m/w at Princess Annes Maternity Unit Southampton were fantastic. within 24 hours they had sent a specially trained m/w to talk to me about how i felt, and to help me to breastfeed. By talking so soon I still felt cheated of a 'birth' but felt much more able to bond with my boys. I managed to breast feed my twins for 8 months and thank the m/w for all their help xxDBxx

  

  
  

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