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Advice needed please **Update**


As some of you know my little girl has been poorly for a while but is now all better (touch wood) so we are now trying to get her bedtime routine back. We have got bedtime and nap time back to normal but our problem is keeping her in bed. When she had croupe and gastrointerightous(sp?) she slept in with us from time to time so we could keep her upright to ease her coughing and sickness. We have done this before and the transition back to cot has never been an issue before now. Now she will wake 2-3 times a night wanting to come in with us. Well I have said no full stop to it now, any time of day or night, (but to be honest she isn't a baby who enjoys a cuddle, she is a fidget so the odd nap time with me was loverly as she would cuddle up. I will miss that). I will use last night as an example.

Went to bed at 7.15 - normal time, no problem at all.
Woke at 11.30 - we were up an hour with her to settle. We gave her calpol incase it is teeth (but showing no other usual signs of teething). Tried her with a bottle and a drink, but refused both. We tried controlled crying but she works herself into a real temper tantrum and that can take anytime between 5-20 mins for her to work herself through that. She usually ends up hurting herself in the prosess. But after all this we are still no further, she will not go back into her cot. Oh managed to get her sorted in the end. By this point it is now 12.45.
4am- awake again, same prosess as before. Oh gave in and put her in bed with us. She went straight off at 5.30.

I have never had to use control crying on her before and its the whole temper thing when we try. She is very stubbon (can blame both parents for that). She is an angel during the day, will play happily and only winges when she is tired or hungary. She also likes to have some 'time out' in her cot. In her own little way she will ask to go in her cot and will just play for up to an hour. I guess she just likes the peace and quiet, LoL.

Things we have tried
Controll crying
Lights on and off
Cuddles in her own room
Staying with her till she dropes off
Medicen (don't like using it just to make her sleep, and doesn't always work)
Changing her nappy.

Is this just a phase and will sort itself out?? I think aswell she knows something is up as I am 25 weeks pg. Is it time to try her in a bed?? She is 15 months old. We need to move her rooms aswell and I think that will upset her even more. I think sooner rather then later will be best. How can something as natural as motherhood be so difficult?? We all need a really good nights sleep, I can handle anything when I have had a good nights kip.

Thanks for any advice

Kerry, Freya and Pink Bump

Well last night was the worst!!

7pm - went to bed, no probelms
7.30 - woke up. Tried CC but a temper tantrum was brewing so gave in and brought her down stairs
9 - 10 - played, winged and cried alot.
10 - went down no problem
11.30 - woke up, Tried CC again
2ish - gave in and put her in with us.
4.30 - finally went back to sleep.
7 - woke up with alarm clock but went back off
8 - woke for the day, refussed breakfast.

I took Freya to clinic today to get her weighed (she hasn't been weighed since she was 7 month, naughty me) and for her 12months top up injections (even tho she is almost 15 months now) I talked to hv about her sleeping and she told be how to do the CC. I was almost right in what I was doing, just need more balls to carry it through. She suggested

Put to bed awake (which I do, as bedtime isn't a problem). When she wakes go in and tell her its bedtime in a low sturn voice. Do not touch her or be in reach of her.
Go back in every 15 mins untill she crys herself to sleep. She said the first couple of nights it could take any when between 3-5 hours, this time will reduce the better we stick to our guns. She also said warn our neighbours and be firm. Also the likely hood of her really hurting herself in her cot is minimal. Its more sound and shock then hurt and pain.
We have given her the upper hand by trying and not sticking to our guns and letting her in our bed. We just need to reclaim the upper hand back.

I'm so not looking forward to it tonight. Its heart breaking watching and leaving her so upset.

Anyone else having probelms, good luck.

Kerry, Freya and Pink Bump

[Modified by: PumpkinPatch on 13 January 2009 14:12:39 ]


  • hi hun i dont have any advice but didnt want to r&r ,just to say motherhood is so not easy my jack has been a dreadful sleeper and nothin worked in the end we just let him sleep in our bed and moved him when he was asleep and eventually he has stayed in his own bed but still comes into our room expecting baby number 2 in 2 weeks and was hoping he would stop comin in with us by now but he still is xxxxxxxxx
  • Hi, glad she is feeling better. Have you thought about using pick up put down to help her get back on track? Its from the Baby Whisperer book (there is a toddler version as well) - we used it when CC didn't work for Neve and it has worked brilliantly - can be quite time consuming but well worth it.

    There is a website too
  • I ment pick up and put down when I said cuddles, but that didn't really work. But to be honest that was the first night we tried it so I will contune with it. She is having her MMR on Tuesday and a check up by HV so I will ask her for any advice.

    Thanks all.

    Kerry, Freya and Pink Bump.
    X X X

    Good luck Chuffedbaby2 for the forthcoming birth and baby,

  • I am sorry to hear you are going through this, Holly is the EXACT same my partner came home from work at 6am this morning to find us cuddled up in bed watching the lion king. I was at the end of my tether with her because all Holly wants is cuddles and if she wakes and doesnt get them she screams the place down and like you I have tried everything but nothing is working.
    I went into the chemist today and explained the situation and they gave me cough mix that they said would help her sleep so I will let you know how it goes. I would never ever normally do it but I have had very little sleep for nearly a week and I cant function properly anymore. My oh works nightshift and this is when she is at her worst.
    Sorry I havent been much help but hey at least you are not on your own!! When Im up 600 times tonight I will think of you and hope you are somehow managing a lovely peaceful sleep xxx
  • Hiya its so difficult becaus eof the age, am having similar problems with Lewis he is 19 month and he climbs out of his cot now so the only advice i can give you is try and get it sorted before she can do that!
  • Well I shouldn't really say this incase I jinx it, but Freya slept 7.45-6 this morning. But I'm sure it is just a one off. I kept her up on purpose, putting her to bed when she was ready to drop. I also gave her 4mls (didn't have 5mls left in the bottle) of Medised as that has always knocked her out. I no its very naughty as that is why they no longer recommend it for under 2 unless its prescribed by a doctor.

    Regards to Freya climbing our of the cot, I can't see it happening. She is far too much of a wimp and she isn't even walking yet and showing no signs of doing it.

    Hollys Mum. I have resorted to medication from time to time. Unless used regulary for this very reason I don't think its a problem. One good nights sleep does us all the power of good.

    Kerry, Freya and Bump
    X X X
  • I have updated on my original post.
  • OMG I dont know what to say other than to give you a cyber hug!! You poor thibng you must be EXHAUSTED! How did it go last night? I hope last night wasnt too stressful for you and really hope cc works for you.
    Holly is getting slightly better well its aking less time to settle her so I think Im on the right track but then tomorrow Im taking her away for 2 weeks and am sooo not looking forward to having her out of routine for that long! Anyway keep us posted on how its goes and I reallllly hope you get some sleep soon xxx
  • Hello Hollys Mum

    Well CC worked really well. OH went round and warned the neighbours and they said they have never heard her and they understand as she had to do it with both her boys, Freya's room backs onto there landing so its not as if we are would be overly disterbing(sp?) anyone.

    She didn't go down well which is highly unusual but I later found out why. The CC only took an hour and 20mins first time round. I went in ever 15 mins only stuck my head over the cot and told her to go to sleep in a low stern voice. I then apoligised and told her I love her under my breath as I felt so guilty. She then had a small blib about 9. I left it 15 mins, got half way up the stairs when it all went quiet so I left it anouther 15 mins before checking her so I didn't disterb her. When I walked in to her there was a very unpleasent smell that hit me like a brick. Bless her, she had had a poo and it had burnt her bottom a little. I believe that is why she wouldn't settle at bedtime coz she needed that poo and at 9 it was uncomfortable for her. I had no choice to change her which put us back to square one. I didn't take her out of the cot tho and I only spoke to her to tell her I was all done and that she needed to go back to sleep. The CC took only 45 mins this time round. She slept till 7.30 this morning. (I was that tired last night that I don't think I would have really heard her anyway)

    I'm not overly hopeful it will work as well tonight as I have just re-read all of the posts and it looks as if it alternate nights she won't sleep. But we will see.

    I makes me feel so guilty and she has been so poorly for long and we spoilt her. Now we are just being mean image. But she forgave me this morning when she saw her bottle, LoL.

    Thanks for all your support, So glad I was introduced to this website.

    Kerry, Freya and Pink Bump (25+5)
    X X X
  • Glad your night wasn't as bad as you were expecting. You are not being mean, you are teaching her how to fall asleep by herself happily, keep telling yourself that!! Good luck for tonight.
  • Hi hun, Im glad Freya is finally sorting herself out!
    We've had a few shit nites with Livs recently. She can scream for well over 2 hours!! Im desperately trying to do the controlled crying thing but I feel like such a cruel mum image I swear the whole of Fletching can here her! Last nite was the first nite I didnt give in and pick her up and put her in bed with us. She cried for just over one hour and eventually she realised I was only going to put the dummy back in and NOT pick her up! Mind you much longer and I prob wouldve given in again, it breaks my heart to here her cry. Lets hope 2nite she does'nt wake! And I hope Freya behaves herself again too! Hope you are all well and catch up soon, Love Sarah and girls x x x
  • Hey Sarah,

    You have to be cruel to be kind. Tonight was simular as last night. She had a poo again but it only took her 10 mins to settle after nappy change. Haven't heard a peep since. But there is still a good 8 hours to go yet, LoL.

    I hope livv's sleeps for you soon. Be strong. My hv told me the more you give in, the more of the upper hand she gets, the harder it is to regain it. I feel like such a bitch doing this to her and it doesn't help that my Mum doesn't agree with CC so in a round about way makes me feel worse about it. But just remember what Bedhead said the post before you, your just teaching them. She will always forgive you. LoL.

    Hope you are all well. I'm hoping to be back home end of Feb begging of March time for a few days, so hopefully we can have a good catch up then. Untill then chatt soon.

    X X X
  • Hi hun, glad you are all well.

    Last nite she went from 7 til 7.30!!!! WOW! She must be learning! At around 12 ish we had a few murmers and winges from her, I was just about to go in to put her dummy in and she went quiet. I got back into bed and nothing! You could tell she had slept for ages by her nappy this morning it was so full Im surprised it did'nt leak! Thats def the best nite she has had so far so I hope it continues!

    Are you coming bk for Josephs bday party on the 31st? And the girls will be having another joint one end ov Feb time, hope you can make it! x x x
  • Sarah

    I'm not coming back for Joseph birthday. I am determined to get the kids rooms sorted this month before I get to big and heavy. Which reminds me I must ring landloard and ask permission to decorate kids room. I'm sure it won't be a prob as long as we put it back when we leave. I hope I make it for your girls birthday party. Maybe I could go into labour at your party this year, Lol.

    Oh my Mum has your arm bands. Sorry I didn't get them back to you. But at least the are now in the same county as you. LoL

    I hope Liv's contunes to sleep well for you. Life is so much easier when you have a good nights sleep.

    UPDATE on last night

    Last night wasn't a bad night at all. Like I said before she had another poo but settled well after nappy change. She woke at 4.45 but settled herself after half and hour. She was only winging so I didn't go into her at all. She woke at 7.20 to start the day.

    Kerry, Freya and Pink Bump 25+6
    X X X
  • Ow hun I forgot to say she did give the arm bands back so thats fine hun. She dropped them round when she told me you were in hospital. Are you def staying up in Wales for the long haul then hun? We want you back home hun image Cry x x x x You better come back for there bdays! You will still have 8 weeks to go by then tho so you might not want to go into labour just then! x x x
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