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Is it wrong to feel jealous of my partner?
Hi!
I'm feeling low and also quite jealous of my partner because his life is still relatively normal after the birth of our son. I used to feel as if we were equals with a joint income and separate interests. I didn't qualify for maternity pay from my firm so am receiving maternity allowance from the government but this is nothing like my normal monthly wage. I guess I feel that I'm not contributing to the household any more and then I feel bad when I tell him what we can or cannot afford because its his money that he earnt and should be able to do what he wants with it. Also his other interests and activities have been able to continue, he's a safety officer for a local football team and also plays in brass bands, so I hardly see him in the evenings and weekends because of concerts, matches etc. When I do see him he's so bloody tired he just falls asleep on the sofa! We share one car between us so I hardly get out of the house to see family and friends.
I just feel like everythings getting on top of me but don't want to say anything to him because he gets paid for all his football matches and concerts which is money that we desperately need.
What do I do?
![:\](https://forum.madeformums.com/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
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I'm feeling low and also quite jealous of my partner because his life is still relatively normal after the birth of our son. I used to feel as if we were equals with a joint income and separate interests. I didn't qualify for maternity pay from my firm so am receiving maternity allowance from the government but this is nothing like my normal monthly wage. I guess I feel that I'm not contributing to the household any more and then I feel bad when I tell him what we can or cannot afford because its his money that he earnt and should be able to do what he wants with it. Also his other interests and activities have been able to continue, he's a safety officer for a local football team and also plays in brass bands, so I hardly see him in the evenings and weekends because of concerts, matches etc. When I do see him he's so bloody tired he just falls asleep on the sofa! We share one car between us so I hardly get out of the house to see family and friends.
I just feel like everythings getting on top of me but don't want to say anything to him because he gets paid for all his football matches and concerts which is money that we desperately need.
What do I do?
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Replies
Mens lifes as you say dont really change that much!maybe the first week or so but then they quickly go back to how it all was before baby!In their defense I dont think they can understand how it is for us!unless we tell them!
Sit your oh down and explain how you are feeling,make sure you plan to do things together at least afew times a month,I know his nights out playing in the band are important to him,and they bring money in,but so is having a family life,you need to all do things together also,maybe if he could miss one or two concerts,matches,I'm sure the others in the band would understand as hes a father now and things will change.
One thing though,its still early days for you and once things settle down you probably wont feel so bad like you do now!Though I still feel it is very important for not only your oh but for you on your own and the both of you together do make time to do things you all enjoy.take care x
[Modified by: Benjismummy on January 24, 2009 01:05 PM]