trying to do the right thing
as ray dicthed the kids on friday, and again on sunday and lord knows if he'll turn up today. he wouldn't even say good night to charlie on the phone on friday cos he was with her and then rang me to say never to contact him again unless thekids were in hospital so i never answer his calls all sat and txt him on sun to say c him when he picks kids up, he text bk to say "i thought i couldn't have them any more, why the change of heart" and then he never showed!
so wrote this to solicitor as i can never get him on the phone easy.
You are busy dealing with my divorce at present.
I’m writing to ask if you can possible write to my ex over access to our children. Several times now he hasn’t turned up when he was men’t to and just presumes I’ll cancel all other plans to accommodate him.
In the interest of the children’s mental welfare as well as my own I would like at least some sort of formal writing to him regarding this matter.
I propose that he has the children Sunday 2pm to 6pm, Monday 11:00 pm to 5:30pm with in the future when he has suitable housing he can then have them from the Sunday in to the Monday. Thus giving my self one weekend day and week day free and not upsetting the children’s routine. As he only works on Friday and Saturdays I also feel this is fair for him.
If possible I would also like to state for the safety of the children that he does not have Sam chattaway around them, as a person know to commit violence, use drugs and also send abusive texts and make threats to my children via phone calls, I think it would be bad parenting to have her around my children.
Sadly ray has very little value for our children and put’s them 2nd most of the time. I’m trying to instil a routine and pattern to there life’s so they have structure and can develop mental well and rounded with in the circumstances they’ve found them self’s in.
Could you please take a moment to forward any letters sent to him regarding this matter to myself as well.
what do you think of it? am i doing the right thing here?
Replies
Good luck to you.Hope it's sorted soon
Glad to hear you decided to contact the solicitor to deal with this
Kristy I am so proud of you - this must have been such a hard decision to make.
I think you have set the tone really well emphasising the children's needs and trying to establish a good long time for Ray to have his children.
Good luck with all this, really thinking of you
Cat x
thanks guys, the solictor rang me and said it shoudn't be a problem and he's going to write to him.
now i've got to be even stronger and not contact him at all other than for access the kids. it's really hard, as i know everytime i twig on to something or figure a hurtful thing out he's done i want to say to him xxx but i know there's no point.
it's takin me to long to get over him, i just wish it was all done and dusted now.
You have done the hardest thing now. Not to say that there won't be more difficult choices to make and things to do, but I truly think this is the worst thing over now.
You just have to stay strong and keep telling yourself this is best for the kids, and the best for you too.
Just imagine yourself 1 year down the line with all this behind you and everything sorted - it might help you stay strong and determined.
x
Kristy as already said you have done the right thing by yourself and the kids,ignore all his calls,if you can have them bolcked temp. till something can be arranged or if you have to answer a call to him just say sorry but this has to be done through my solicitor now and i can't discuss it with you and hang up.
Hope that some arrangement can be made and that he sticks to it.
All the best hun.xx
i can't block his calls, i tried to do that before.
tbh i think he's in a huff with me for ignoring him so is not ringing me now, i think thats what he's playing at. he couldn' even tell me about the kids when he dropped them off yesterday so i had to ring his mam to find out if they had there tea and what time summer had her bottle etc
Pauline x