Forum home General Chat General chat
🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Options

Were gonna loose it all,

we have been so stupid,

 i automatically assumed andrew re started all our direct debits when he re-started work.

he assumed i was paying rent and ct via the post office

so today we had the bailiffs at the door for council tax and a letter of eviction on the 31st, im in pieces. we are appealing and going to court and hoping and praying if we get as much money together as we can to pay off a lump or arrears theyll let us stay,

the landlord also contacted social services to say we were unfit as we were loosing the house.

i dont know what to do say, my chest hurts and im terrified

I guess everyone was right were too young stupid and irresponsible.

«13

Replies

  • Options

    OMG!

    Think the best thing you can do is go to the Citizens' Advice Bureau.I'm not sure about this but we were told a landlord had to take you to court,a process which could take three months.It was our local council told us that.They can't just kick you out on the street.May also be worth contacting your housing department.The courts can be suprisingly helpful at coming to some sort of arrangement.

    Social services won't see you as unfit,even if you do lose the house.I'm sure your Mum won't see you on the street,or your kids taken away.You do a good job looking after them,the SS will see that.The landlord doesn't know  you.He's just concerned with his money.

    We used to be hugely irresponsible with money,our weakness was credit cards,and we'll be paying for it for a long time yet.It doesn't mean you'll lose everything,it's nothing that can't be fixed.

  • Options

    housing debt were useless saying wed be almost impossible to re-house as wed made ourselves homeless, all we can do is appeal, andrew just does the macho it will be fine and that doesnt help hes at work all the time its me thats gotta deal with it and im scared,

    i rang my mum and told her, shes had it happen to her socials letter etc nd all they did was talk to her hv and i see mine everyother week so hopefully thats the kids protected, thats the most important thing theyre extremely clingy children and that letter absolutley terrified me, the person in charge of arrears has now left a message saying if we make a real effort and pay as much as we can theres a high chance theyll let us stay but still has to go to court, but apparently theres one judge and hes a kind reasonable guy so if i can manage to hold myself together we should muddle through, its just so so scary, i love my house its full of memories, its only the 2nd house ive lived in x but theres still an high chance things could go the other way, i cant think straight

  • Options

    awww hun what a worry for you!

    Its a simple mistake though, and hopefully if you get that lump sum ready to pay off the judge will see that you are trying to make amends.

    As for the social being involved don't worry, it takes alot for a child to be taken away, i assume you would have family or friends to take you in if you do loose the house? If so then they wont seperate you

    x

  • Options

    none of the family has the space, but none of them would think twice about squeezing us in, i was doing ok thinking things through and sorting paperwork ect and the letter from ss jus threw me, were by no means perfect but the children are the centre of everything, everything we do revolves around them and i cant count the times weve struggled and gone without to do or give the best to them, my hv sees me every other week, i choose to go to clinic so hopefully as she knows us quite well ill have her support.

    Oh and to top it off andrews job only has a few weeks left! Hopefully one of friends can get him in somewhere.

  • Options

    Hope it's all sorted soon.Hopefully you'll get the judge will see you made a mistake,you're doing the best you can to fix it.

    If the SS do pay you a visit,they'll see your kids are well cared for,well loved and have everything they need.I'm sure your hv will back you up,she obviously knows you well.

    Hope Andrew gets another job soon,that's the last thing you need in the middle of all this.

    Even bailiffs can be reasonable.You might be able to get some sort of arrangement with that too.

  • Options
    the bloke was fine, he said its a nightmare dealing with people with kids, theres alot more rules, all he could write down was the tv which is andrews mums, wii is locked in a cupboard cuz of jacks so wasnt seen, im going to sell my ds today and the wii might have to go too.
  • Options
    how scary for u- u must be worrying sick-all i can say is i hope u sought something-i dont understand the housing thing tho as i thought they had a duty to house homeless families at least in a b +b if not a house. know its hard but still try to enjoy the kids even if u are worrying as they re only little once-as for the ss thats ridiculous-a lack of moneyis nothin to do with parenting-they shud be dealing with other cases-u ve just been careless thats all.keep ya chin up x
  • Options
    thanks for all the support, im doing my best just to forget as at the moment theres nothin i can do, just have to wait, and hope.
  • Options
    laura i just saw this, you are not young and stupid, you are a great mum and this is just one of those things. im rubbish with money if it wasnt for dylan keeping me on the straight and narrow i would probably be bankrupt. hope everything works out as im sure it will. you just keep being a wonderful mum xxxx
  • Options

    OMG Laura-just bn reading your posts,u ok hun? Christ how scary.

    Firstly don't EVER say your too young and irresponsible-YOUR'E NOT . This coulda happened to anyone,it's a mistake,ur human,we all make them. Explain everything honestly and try and scramble some cash together to show willing. Think Jo is right,they have to take you to court,I'm sure.

    Try and stay calm too,you can do without making yourself ill. I really hope this is sorted asap,once landlord has had some money he'll be off your back. x

  • Options

    well i know i shouldnt but im blaming andrew i put the rent money aside friday and he spent it on an extra driving lesson!!!!!!!!!!!!

    we are screwed, he doenst seem to realise whats happening!!

  • Options
    When this is all sorted can you get separate accounts and take charge of it yourself.In the meantime,confiscate his bankcard and give him an allowance.This is serious stuff,but you can sort it if you both work together.
  • Options

    i had both the cards!!! always do fridays, found out the dd i thought was rent was paying of a huge overdraft he had (didnt know about it as you can tell) he took the money from the dresser it was with the documents to go post office so it was obvious what its for,  so now i have £20 left for the rent and anything we need, i am so cross and upset, i darent go into one and row because atm thats the worst thing we can do. theres no point ringing making excuses because i just look like an idoit, going to have to find a quick sale for the ds and wii this week and if he pisses me of further the metallica cd and dvd collection will join my consoles!

  • Options

    We used to get 50p each video cassette when we were really broke.Complete rip off but instant cash and I had loads of videos.

    Is there somewhere else you can hide cash,so you can keep it away from temptation.You're right,the last thing either of you need is rowing with each other.

    Driving lessons are important,especially if  Andrew needs to look for work,but you've also got to show a judge you're trying to pay what you can towards those arrears.

    Hope you get a couple of quick sales on the ds and wii.You need a bit of luck,and quick

  • Options

    aw laura i've just seen this.  what a stress for you, your not too young and irresponsible though i'm sure most people have done that or something similar.  i know i'm useless with money, doesn't help martin keeps getting paid of from jobs, we get sorted then he looses another job

    i'm sure the judge will see your doing your best to get sorted and that it was an honest mistake.

  • Options

    caroline thats our exact situation we got organised and everything set up and bang goes the job!! so frustrating.

     I sold the ds with 2 games got £55 so managed to pay the court costs so were in court monday 10am, im scared.  theyve told me to go with the children even though i dont have to be there, andrew does, as it looks like we have no support, not lying as such but i dont leave my children ever, and we dont have anywhere we can go our only option if the worst happens is roos mums taking out a tenancy for us and we struggle to afford a private rent (over £200 MORE for a smaller house than we have now)

    Really dont want to part with our wii as we use it so much and as we dont go out thats our fun night in with mates, makes me feel irresponsible knowing  could get £100 from it but really dont want to. is it?

    currently trying to get rid of all jacks old nursery set and equipment and the baby swings etc but people want everything for nothing, i had one person offer me £5 for moses basket, new mattress, 2 cellulars, 3 fitted and flat sheets, co-ordinated blanket, toys and liner hood etc and mamas and papas rocking stand!!!!

    and then one person would only buy the bumbo if i had a highchair tooo, what is wrong with people! 

    I did a huge cookup for the kids this weekend so i can do an extremely tight shop next week and take a lump sum to court, apparently that helps too.

  • Options

    Don't think it's irresponsible to keep the wii.You'll lose loads selling it,it'll be ages till you can replace it.

    Are you selling your stuff on ebay?

    If you rent privately,can you claim housing benefit?

    Hoping it doesn't come to losing the house.If you have your lump sum it looks good.I'm sure the judge will see you're doing your best to sort things

  • Options

    Oh mate,hope you don't have to go to MIL's. Nightmare. Go to court,with the kids so judge can see them,I know that sounds mean,but surely it would help. Don't be scared hun,and yeah,don't row with each other.

    Think Jo's right,if you sell wii,you'll never replace it,and you won't get nearly what you paid for it. Get yourself down to aldi or lidl and do your shop,save you loads.

    And I'd set up everything together,and you keep charge of cash in future. I hope you get this sorted,have you put anything for sale on e-bay?

  • Options

    i havent done ebay yet as doing postage is so difficult as its all big stuff, and then i have to get it to post office or wait in for couriers, its just soo much hassle. im using gumtree, netmums nearly new and rasberry rascals (local buy and sell baby shop)

    cant claim housing benefit as andrews wage is good its just all the over bills and debts we have that makes us skint they arent taken into acount.

    decided not to sell the wii as we brought it when it was new out wed loose ALOT of money and my grams is buying us a wii fit for our annivesary, might tell her just to give me money!!

    we dont have an aldi or lidl!! nearest ones 40mins away and i dont drive, doing asda online, thats usually pretty cheap. and told mum she can expect for tea a few nights lol.

  • Options

    Aye your ma will help. That is such a shame,and these cheaper stores don't have on-line shop either. Is it smart price the value line at asda? I'd get that in for a while,prob save a bit more.

    That is cruel bout his wage,big fella earns 500 quid over annual amount for us to claim benefits,yeah cos 500 a year helps family of 4! Mm e-bay hassle if you can't drive to take larger items toP.O I hope you manage to sort this hun x

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions