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Career and Baby number 2

As you can see I have had recent issued with baby number 2 not going to go on but I was struggling coming to terms with when best to have one.

 After discussion we are trying around Feb next year to try and get our daughter in school just as my maternity runs out.  This is mainly becuase I work full time and childcare is 3 days grandparents 2 days nursery.

 anyway was talkiNG to my mum sounding her out about if she would look after another one baring in mind she is 62 and it would be another 2 years off.  She said something quite hurtful and one i find very upsetting.

"if I were you with your new career (i changed jobs) I would just stick to one child you cant do both"

Is this true? I find it very upsetting as my sister HAS 4  and never once has she said maybe you have enough she can just pop them out for M&S if she likes - becasue she stays at home.

Just when I thought I was straight in mind (apart from still thinking something bad is going to happen and having a unhealthy obssession with bad things) this has just set me back.  My mum did say she would look after another 2 days but still

 WHY CANT I HAVE BOTH!!!

Replies

  • Hi,

    Great news that you've decided to have another. Sorry you feel hurt by what your mum said though.

    I stopped working after having Mia because we had decided to have another and childcare costs way too much for us to afford.

    First, while I might not work, my friend has a 3 year old and a 10 month old. She runs her own business which she is at 6 days a week and really works hard, her husband works all over the UK working crazy hours and I think she is inspirational. She is only young and shows that with planning there is time to do both. I'd have a think as to how you would split work and childcare etc but if you can find a way you've answered your own question.

    Secondly, my mum told me that she would look after our girls anytime we wanted. Since having our 2nd daughter, she has looked after them once with my step-dad and now there is an endless stream of reasons why they can't have them. Don't get me wrong. We chose to have children and we should look after them but a few hours, I don't feel is too much to ask. All I would say is plan for your mum to look after you children, but I'd have a back-up plan in case things change. I wish I had of planned for no help at all then anything else would have been a bonus but help that is promised and then isn't there can be disappointing.

    I really hope you manage to sort things and find a solution that makes you happy. Big hugs to you.

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  • Hi Sym thanks for your help. We have decided one way or another baby number 2 is being made next year!! so as back we are going to save like mad so just in case my mum for one reason cant help with number 2 it will go in full time nursery. My job unfortunately is not a part time job and was made clear when I took the promotion. Its only for 18 months after all as we get help from 2 onwards.

    My little girl is just as happy as any of my sister's 4 who is a stay at home mum so im very happy with sending them to nursery. Of course im not kidding myself if I won the lottery i would carry on working lol.

    I guess I was just hurt my mum thought that I shouldn't have kids and a career which after all I took to make a better life for my family.


    xx
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