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Mental health

hi i have a daughter she is 3 this month, I have found it hard since her dad took her and I know and knew he not let me see her at all he would play mind games on seeing my daughter, so I took  him to court I found a solicitor to help me and seen the domestic abuse team and things for what to put me Through to get approval for first aid, as I simply could not afford 7500.00 but I had told them the truth everything but The truth on how my ex treated me, it took seven months to get to court, and it’s breaking my heart I know it’s supposed to be for my daughters best interest to stay where the judge says, it’s been over a year that I’ve been trying to get my daughter to come home, and its really upsetting as she barely knew me after the seven months off him taking her, I do see my daughter twice a week for 6 hours so far, and have a court day on tuesday, I have had mantle health issues since I turned 18 but I also used to hear voices and see things as a child,  I have stayed well medicated since my daughter was born, and been trying to stay well for her but I ended up getting depressed in the end because off the way the relationship was with my daughters dad, the way he treated me, and made me and my daughter cry 😢 him and his women friend was very horrible and used to shout at me

all the time, and I ended up admitting myself to hospital when my ex took me as he repeatedly told me and tried convincing me I was becoming unwell so I did end up believing it as it was entered into

my head so much, so I said to him in the end Ill go hospital for him for my health and for my daughter sake, I’ve never hurt anyone before being ill but my daughter daddy tried convincing me I’ll hurt her which i told him it’s ball shit,

but I am pregnant again with my boyfriends child, we had a rocky road in the start off the relationship I’m in my second trimester and we just got back together, but I do understand his actions his going to be first time dad, and I admit I did love him and I still do now, even though we didn’t talk In my first trimester but I understanf his scared, well I’ve been feeling a little

depressed lately, but I’m trying to remain strong I’m not thinking wrong anymore since getting back with this baby daddy, as my mind was mixed up at first in beginning it took me time to

realise I was pregnant and my mind was over the place I was thinking the worst and also thinking my daughter will hate me for it could I have opinion please, i never thought about abortion though but I thought off adoption which was stupid I don’t believe I’d do it my

mind was over the place, but could someone help me has anyone gone through something similar my daughter is beautiful she’s a mini me when I was little she is three on 26th may, and I wouldn’t treat chloe or baby any differently when baby born and Chloe will always be my baby girl, I just feel so bad as when she was born I swore I’d protect her but I couldn’t I know your probably thinking her dad has her though, but his really not a nice man I can’t explain everything his done to me but it’s shameful and I wish I ran but I was isalated had no one couldn’t even contact my family no friends at all

apart from one which he was funny with me in the end about seeing my best mate It felt like i had no one and as he blammed me for everything as well when I never Done nothing wasn’t nice if I went shop in morning with my daughter To get food and he wakes up he will ask me where am I come home even when he went out I couldn’t leave as I was so scared he would find us and i didn’t realise there was so much help out there I’m just scared about this can the judge tell im

telling the truth about him and spot my ex is lying my sister said they can but I’m scared she will go to him, and his hardly with her now like he wasnt before 

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