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Need help deciding. VBAC or 2nd Elective section???
Hi all,
I really need some help to decide which way to go, so any ladies who had VBAC or a second elective section i really want to hear your stories.
Its not the operation as such thats putting me off, because the staff in theatre were great and my wound was so neat, the stitches were inside so i couldn't even see and they must just dissolve on thier own.
I am more worried about the after care and being restricted from doing things for when i have a 2year old to look after.
I also didnt bond with my daughter which i believe was the effect of never having labour hormones and the week in hospital was like a horrible nightmare. I also couldn't see her being born as it wasn't hospital procedure to lower the screen, and i also didnt get skin to skin contact because she was dressed and wrapped up in loads of blankets and i wasnt allowed to hold her until i was in recovery and i couldnt move enough to hold her or breastfeed her properly. I feel i missed out on so much, although i know that the main thing is that she was healthy but that didnt stop me feeling upset about it all.
The midwives were awful on the maternity ward and i wasn't allowed home untill my baby could breastfeed, but i was having difficulty because she was too small and tired, but i wasn't getting any help from them.
They also decided to give me a bed bath at 1:30 in the morning after i had my daughter at 3:40pm when i had no sleep the night before due to blood pressure checks every hour during the night, but at the time i didnt say anything, which i am furious with myself for looking back.
I was so upset by the experience of being on the maternity ward that after i broke down crying one night i ended up giving up trying to breastfeed my hungry daughter on day 5 and gave her a bottle just so we could go home before we both got really got distressed.
I had all the negative amotional effects from a section like feeling like a failure etc
I am still emotionally scared even after almost two years and councelling sessions, and i am terrified of it happening again, but i am also thinking whether or not i want to risk having a failed attempt of labour, at least with another section i can prepare myself and i might feel more in control if that makes sense.
I really would like to try VBAC but i am worried about the uncertainty of it all. I know uterine rupture is rare but its still a worry, and i dont want to be confined to a bed if i am advised to have constant monitoring. I also have very little faith in midwives after previous experience and cant really change hospitals because the others are much further away.
Hopefully hearing from other womens experiences will help me to prepare myself better
i would really like to hear from anyone who has had this experience.
Thank you for reading
Lyndsey
[Modified by: linzi83 on 23 January 2009 22:04:56 ]
I really need some help to decide which way to go, so any ladies who had VBAC or a second elective section i really want to hear your stories.
Its not the operation as such thats putting me off, because the staff in theatre were great and my wound was so neat, the stitches were inside so i couldn't even see and they must just dissolve on thier own.
I am more worried about the after care and being restricted from doing things for when i have a 2year old to look after.
I also didnt bond with my daughter which i believe was the effect of never having labour hormones and the week in hospital was like a horrible nightmare. I also couldn't see her being born as it wasn't hospital procedure to lower the screen, and i also didnt get skin to skin contact because she was dressed and wrapped up in loads of blankets and i wasnt allowed to hold her until i was in recovery and i couldnt move enough to hold her or breastfeed her properly. I feel i missed out on so much, although i know that the main thing is that she was healthy but that didnt stop me feeling upset about it all.
The midwives were awful on the maternity ward and i wasn't allowed home untill my baby could breastfeed, but i was having difficulty because she was too small and tired, but i wasn't getting any help from them.
They also decided to give me a bed bath at 1:30 in the morning after i had my daughter at 3:40pm when i had no sleep the night before due to blood pressure checks every hour during the night, but at the time i didnt say anything, which i am furious with myself for looking back.
I was so upset by the experience of being on the maternity ward that after i broke down crying one night i ended up giving up trying to breastfeed my hungry daughter on day 5 and gave her a bottle just so we could go home before we both got really got distressed.
I had all the negative amotional effects from a section like feeling like a failure etc
I am still emotionally scared even after almost two years and councelling sessions, and i am terrified of it happening again, but i am also thinking whether or not i want to risk having a failed attempt of labour, at least with another section i can prepare myself and i might feel more in control if that makes sense.
I really would like to try VBAC but i am worried about the uncertainty of it all. I know uterine rupture is rare but its still a worry, and i dont want to be confined to a bed if i am advised to have constant monitoring. I also have very little faith in midwives after previous experience and cant really change hospitals because the others are much further away.
Hopefully hearing from other womens experiences will help me to prepare myself better
i would really like to hear from anyone who has had this experience.
Thank you for reading
Lyndsey
[Modified by: linzi83 on 23 January 2009 22:04:56 ]
0
Replies
However for me my concern was the recovery and not being able to lift my toddler- I was fortunate to have a vbac albeit with ventouse and would highly recommend trying but I guess it depends on the reason for your 1st section too.
Good Luck x
i'm sorry to hear you had a horrid time with your 1st c/s - although the op went well, it was obviously the after care. if you do opt for a c/s this time, then maybe you should write your wishes down, and stick to your guns - many hospitals do keep the screen up to reduce the risk of you / your partner touching anything you shouldnt and increasing the risk of infection. if you want, you could ask the surgeon if possible, could the screen stay down if you promise not to touch, and once you lo is born, that it goes up again. i did with mine, although the screen didnt go back up after anyway!
you cant see too much anyway, as you are flat with a bump until delivery, but you will be able to see your lo come out tho'. then you have no interest in what goes on anyway, as you are just glad to see your lo!
also make it clear that your lo is to stay with you at all times (unless there is a need for resuscitation) - this is your right as a mum, and as soon as you are put back into bed, ask to be put on your side, and have your babe in skin to skin then. i dont know of many women that leave our theatre without this being done. as it is fairly impossible to have skin contact on the op table, due to your position and the table being so narrow, ask could your partner do it instead until you are ready! there is absolutely no reason why you should have your baby dressed until you are ready.
as for post-op bed baths - i have to be honest, you should have told them no, but to be fair, they were right to have offered you one - albeit at a better time. next time, just tell them no as you said you should have.
it would have been irresponsible of the midwife if she had let you go home knowing your baby wasnt feeing properly - you would have run the risk of being readmitted with a dehydrated baby, that could have been very poorly. i can totally sympathise that you were struggling to feed without getting help -that is something that you need to address again, as this could be a problem irrespective of how you deliver your lo! you need to make sure that they know you need the help -all staff are trained to help breast feed - not just midwives. some trusts now also employ girls who are just feeding advisors (not midwives etc) maybe find if your trust does, and maybe ask to speak with them 1st.
as for lifting - as i knew i'd be having another c/s, i taught my 2 yr old to do things that i had usually done for him -for example, he sat on the stairs and "bumped" down them, and he would come and sit with me on the sofa, instead of me picking him up to sit on my knee etc etc. i also involved him in "helping" me with the new baby (running for nappies etc), and told him about the operation to get babies out of tummies - when he came to see me a few hours later, i showed him my dressing so he knew what it was etc - he used to kiss my tummy to make it better!! when i had my 3rd (3yrs later) altho the age gap was bigger, i still did the same things, and didnt have any problems whatsoever. my problem will come when they are bigger, and find out that not all babies come out of the sunroof!!
as for a VBAC - have a look at why you had a c/s last time, and speak with your consultant. you cannot be gauranteed a vaginal delivery anyway, but there may be a very good reason why a VBAC may not be recommended for you. they would be best to advise you.
otherwise, not just because i'm one of them, but dont think all midwives are evil!! unfortunately some of them are, but they are in a minority - this time you may get just get the ones who are nice, and wonder why you dreaded them!! i really do so hope so for you!!
[Modified by: ollier2001 on January 24, 2009 12:46 PM]
Just in answer to your question, i had my first be elective section at 38 weeks exact because i had pre-eclampsia and she was breech.
I really would have been happy to stay in hospital as long as it took to get her breastfeeding but i just didnt see any point when i wasn't getting the help because there were too busy.
They didn't even explain anything which surprised me considering it was my first baby. I know i should have spoken up more, but they were funny with you just for asking them to fill your jug of water up even though you could't walk and get it yourself.
Hopefully this time i will have more confidence to speak up and not get upset because its my second baby and i have the experience of that awful week in hospital as i had never been in hospital prior to that.
Thanks again for your replys,
lyndsey
this is only my experience but every one is different. i had an emergancy c/s with my 1st dd and my recovery was AWFUL i had the worst time. i got an infection and was in hospital for a week. wen at home i relyd on my oh so much, it was about 4/5weeks before i felt even a little bit back to normal!
then i had an elective section with my dd nu 2. my dd1 was only 1 yr 1 wk old wen i had my 2nd so i was worried about picking her up and recovery esp having such a bad time with my 1st.
but im glad to say that my 2nd section was SO much better, the whole experience was great. i was home after 2 days, and back to normal within 2 weeks, i felt so much more able, and i could cope fine my both my dd's. i avoided lifting my eldest for the 1st week or so, just to be safe, but i wouldnt let this put you off having a section.
hope my experience helped if only a little
xxxx
Hun, that sounds like a tough first experience. I just wanted to say I bonded really well with my little man after my section dispite not having any skin to skin till back in the room. Just wanted to let you know in case you're worried about not bonding again that it's not always the case. I can't really advise on the other aspects, as I really am in two minds about what i'm going to do next time. At first I was adament about having a section, now i'm swaying to a vbac but realise that like EmmaLou says you can be unfortunate in these as well and may turn out worse. xxx
Can you tell me if you went over your due date and if so did they recomend anything to try and bring on labour or if any of you were induced?, because i think there is supposibly a safe way to induce following a section that can be stopped at any time but dont know anything else about it, need to ask at next consultant appointment.
Were you advised to have constant monitoring and if so was it possible to move around abit?
Did any of you end up having an emergency section after attempting VBAC?
Did any of you end up having a general anestetic?
Thank you
It really helping me making me weigh uthe pro's and con's as such for both decisions.
I am 22 weeks today and i have been asked to think about it before my next scan which is at 28 weeks, so i still have time to decide.
Thanks again ladies
Lyndsey x
[Modified by: linzi83 on January 24, 2009 08:56 PM]
[Modified by: linzi83 on January 24, 2009 09:00 PM]
I had bad experience at hosp 5 mins away so 2nd time round i chose to deliver at hosp 35/40 mins away. it was a bit of a hassle but so worth it, i had a much better experience,
Good luck with it
xxDBxx
Fingers crossed x
I feel for you in trying to decide.Its almost an impossible one to decide what will be best - because you just don't know how it will turn out.
I had an emergency c-section with my 1st which I found traumatic as my baby was in distress and we were so worried that he would be ok.
I too had a horrible horrible time on the ward after - feeling I couldn't call the midwifes ,the bedbaths the feeling of being trapped on the bed and not being able to reach my baby.
I also remember the feeling after James was born he was taken straight to the oxygen and I didn't see him for a little while(totally understandable) but then when he was ok they handed him to my hubby and he was all wrapped up in towels and I just felt that I couldn't see him.I wanted to hold him and touch and look at every part of him but \I couldnt.I was throwing up constantly which didn't help.I was given him when I was put in recovery -but he just didnt take to the breast at all!!.
I too struggled to feed him but they let me out of hospital any way and I ended up putting him on Formula 3 days later as the breastfeeding just wasn't happening.
So when I was expecting my 2nd I was set on a vbac for the reasons above.I was booked in for a sweep 3 days after my due date as I had problems when I went in to be induced the last time.
Anyway I went into labour naturally on my due date and after 16 hours of labour I had my daughter by forceps with an epiosotemy in theatre.I was rushed up for a c-sect as she was back to back and after almost 2 hours of pushing just didn't want to come out!!!
I have to say that I found the whole thing fairly traumatic and was very very sore after.But the one thing I wanted I got - my baby daughter was placed straight onto my chest and I will never ever forget how soft and warm and just wonderful she felt and I got to hold her first.
Plus she took to the breast straight away and I was alble to breastfeed the 2nd time around.
I have had problems after with my epiosotemy and problems with my pelvic floor and I have to say I was in more pain with my stiches with a vbac than after my c-section.Plus they don't give you pain killers like they do for a c-sect.
Sorry for such a long post - but I have told you how it was for me.
Best of luck in your decision.
I have to say that my friend had planned c-sect for her 2nd baby and she had no problems at all.I often wonder if I made the right decision because I now have a scar from my 1st sect and had problems down below!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Modified by: MLM on January 25, 2009 10:05 PM]
That is the main thing i want from a VBAC, being able to see and hold my baby as soon as he is born. Its something i will never get over from not being able to do that with my daughter. I know that even if i have a succesful VBAC it still might not be possible.
Its reassuring that i am not alone with my experience and feelings, like not being able to see my daughter when my husband was holding her. I wanted to scream at him at the time saying "I can't see her you idiot!" but i didn't because i didnt want to spoil the atmosphere for my newborn and i didnt want to upset my husband, i still havn't told him lol. He was doing his best, bless him!
Think i am going to try VBAC providing labour is spontanious.
Just to have experienced labour would be something.
My worst fear is that i will have a C-section under GA and miss everything, and then regret not just having another elective where at least i would be awake.
I am coming to terms with the fact that i might have to have another section for whatever reason, and hopefully i will cope with it better physically and emotionally if it does come to that.
Its hard not having a clue which way its going to go, with my first baby, c-section never even entered my head, and i just thought i would have a vaginal birth in the end no matter what happened during labour. but it wasn't to be i guess.
I think having faith in my own body is going to be the key to sucess. just hope i get enough faith before my due date.
Thanks again
Lyndsey
I had an epidural when I got to hospitla at 5 cm dialated as the midwife said it was best when having a vbac - not sure why but was glad of the pain relief - just found it very restrictive being monitored so much.!!
xxxxxxxxxxxx
This is exactly how i was after having emergancy c section and i also gave up on breastfeeding. i have decided that i will try for vbac all being well as i will have a 20month old to look after as well and then at least i can say i tried my hardest. at the end of the day its what you will feel most comfortable with. for me i wouldnt be able to live with the fact that i didnt even try for vbac and i would have so many questions going through my mind, like what if everything had gone fine for vbac.xx
Unfortunatley all we can do is wait and see what happens if not deciding on another elective section.
I am already working on my birth plan for both types of birth so hopefully no matter what happens, i will still get some of my wishes granted. xx
[Modified by: linzi83 on January 26, 2009 10:46 AM]
try not to worry about ending up with a GA c/s - this is usually only done for 2 reasons - 1 being that your spinal / epidural fails (usually they can try again anyway), the other that your baby's/your life is at risk that much that there is no other way- if this was the case, you wouldnt care, as you would just want you both to be safe. Anaesthetists much prefer pregnant women to be awake, so it really is only if unavoidable.
if you are worried, then you could consider having an epidural when in labour- if you did, although it would restrict mobility/ have a higher chance of help delivering, should you end up needing a c/s for whatever reason, the anaesthetist could "top-up" the epidural. this may reassure you somewhat.
in view of your history with pre-eclampsia, it is quite possible that you would get it again, so depending on how it goes, your consultant may end up recommending an elective c/s for you anyway. you will need to talk to him to see what he thinks, but even that may not be able to be planned early on. if you are induced / labour, an epidural is often helpful in controlling blood pressure problems, so it may be that it is recommended to you anyway.
have a chat with him /her, and see if they can put your mind at rest!