Unsure about a homebirth any advice please

MummyLintern2Be · Dec 13, 2011 3:54PM

Hi all , Im only 10 weeks pregnant with our second child , my first birth experience wasnt great mainly down to the hospital , i didnt feel comfortable there and after the birth i was left alone with my baby for a couple of hours with no help to shower etc and after having pethidine.. the ward was awful and it was just a bad experience all the way round . so much so i vowed not to go back to hospital next time

so when i went to see my midwife the first thing she asked was where i would like to deliver this baby , when i said i wanted a home birth she suggested i give birth at our local birthing centre .. she showed me pics like it was a sales brochure lol she also told me that it would be much better for me as i may not be able to have a home birth if a midwife was off sick , another lady went into labour on home birth before me or the oncall midwife was called in to support a 3rd birth at the birthing centre .. she said all of these things are likely and in that case i would end up having to go to hospital which i dont want ...

i agreed to the birthing centre however after coming home i still feel its not what i want ... i have my booking in appointment tomorrow and scan in a couple of weeks and if everything is ok i think i need to talk to midwife again about where i give birth as am not satisfied with the birthing centre option .. has anyone got any thoughts or advice or heard of these reasons why i might not be able to have a homebirth xxx

_mummy2grace_ · Nov 8, 2011 8:02AM

Hey hun- I popped in here for similar reasons to you- I had a horrible time at the first hospital birth centre (before being blue lighted to another) and just crappy care all round. I've been thinking home birth cos its more 1-2-1 care and also (I think) the journey from home to the hospital slowed my labour (I was 8cm leaving home at midday but DD wasnt born til nearly 10 pm!!). I would google NICE guidelines but I'm pretty sure if you're low risk you are entitled to ask for a home birth- dont be fobbed off , you also have pleanty of time to decide xxx

MummyLintern2Be · Nov 8, 2011 8:57AM

glad im not the only one who had problems ... im going to see midwife this afternoon so may talk to her more about things , you think you are going to ask for a homebirth? xxxx

_mummy2grace_ · Nov 8, 2011 9:28AM

I'm not sure as I want a birthing pool but not sure my floors are suitable. I know I'm not going where I went last time (if I saw 1st mw I might swing for her lol) x

Jojo31 · Nov 8, 2011 10:21AM

Hi, I had a home birth with my first daughter and am planning one again this time (I'm due end of may so only a week or so ahead of you) TBH it sounds like they're just trying to fob you off. Yes there are occasions when they are short of midwives or someone else is having a homebirth at the same time (although with their attitude to you they probably have very few women having home births anyway) I've been really lucky and both areas that I've been in have quite high home birth rates and the midwives are really keen. I'd say keep pressing if its what you want to do, you have every right to give birth where you want to. I'd recommend a homebirth to anyone, I progressed really quickly and was so so relaxed throughout the whole thing. If you want to know anything feel free to ask, good luck to you both!!

mimimoomin · Nov 14, 2011 11:21AM

if you want a home birth tell them that is what you want, if it comes to the time where you are in labour and you are told that they are busy or under staffed all you have to say is that you have planned a home birth and you are in labour the midwives have a duty of care towards you and cannot leave you at home labouring, they would loose thier job....

it would seem that in some areas midwives are a bit lazy or maybe just have little experience of attending homebirths and therefore try to steer women towards hospitals or birthcentres...

i will be having a home birth my first was a great water birth in the hosp but the 2 after were awful and so quick, they have closed my local birth centre so i have no choice but to have a home birth which works for me as its what i would have had prefered, i attended many homebirths as a student midwife and belive that they are best for low risk women.

MummyLintern2Be · Nov 15, 2011 3:43PM

thanks for that mimimoomin , do you think its too late now to change my mind ? im only 11 weeks but she has put me down as having the birth centre birth now ? may see if i can go look round before hand as i am still unsure .. xx

KimmyS84 · Nov 23, 2011 5:21AM

It's really weird, my MW suggested straight of the bat that I was ideal for a homebirth! Just goes to show differences between trusts

So long as your situation is low risk you should be able to have your homebirth, and even though you are booked for the birth centre now you can change that. They will always find a MW (actually you should get 2) to come out to you so I wouldn't listen to their excuse that they may be short on staff

I wonder if they have targets to reach for the birth centre and so that is why your MW is pushing that for you. It may be worth having a look round anyway, you never know, you may get a really good feeling from the place xx

mimimoomin · Nov 29, 2011 7:36AM

its not too late you change your mind no, they dont bring the bits and do the assesment for a homebirth until 36 weeks anyway but go and have a look around the birth centre too options are good

Amme · Dec 2, 2011 2:49PM

I would say def go for it. I had my second baby at home 7 weeks ago and it was fab, so relaxed an straight forward. midwives in my area not keen on it, only get approx. 9 per yr. u r not 2 late i only requested at 37 weeks as hubby took quite a bit of persuading. i birthed my 9b 7oz boy with no pain relief kneeling on my lounge floor just 4 hours after first twinge and was in my own bed having a nap less than 2 hours later.

rosemary20 · Dec 7, 2011 2:16PM

im hoping to give birth at home, hubby isnt keen but i am not too fond of the trip to hosp, being in a car is hell in labour.

my 1st labour was quick and no pain relief so at home i am hoping it'll be even better.

some MW's dont like home births and dont feel confident giving advice, just do ur research and give them the answer that its what YOU want, and its YOUR body/baby etc. she cant stop you!

good luck hun xxx

MissPud · Dec 8, 2011 9:56AM

I agree wiht everyone else. Stick to your guns if a home birth is what you want then fine.

I had a mw at my booking appointment that was lovely, she was happy with me giving birth at home. She did say that they may advise against it cause I have a high bmi but she said they have to do this. I said look I am not stupid and if I think a home birth is risking my babys or my own health then I will go to hopsital. I now have a different mw as I was referred to the home birth team straight away, which means i now have all my antinatel appointments at home

Yes indeed my mw said look I do have to advise you against a homebirth cause of your high bmi but it is your choice and we will support you in whatever you choose, I stick to my gins and she was fine. Nearer the time they said they will assess me and my home to make sure there is plenty of room to move around and they have to do a risk assessment in case of emergancy. I said again that I am not stupid and my 3rd child was meant to be a home birth but my waters broke and they were green so the first thing I did was ring the hosptial and advised them adn I went straight in..

Rememebr this is your own choice and you will not feel relaxed if you go soemwhere where you are forced. If you like the idea of the brithing center then go and ahve a look around, but you must not feel pressured into making choices. They are not allowed to do this..

Also rememebr if you are not happy with your mw you can get them changed!!

xx

ARG4 · Dec 12, 2011 4:12PM

Hi I have just had my 2nd home water birth (4th baby) which, like my last one was absolutely wonderful(will post my birth story when I get a minute!!)but had to fight for it! Last time I had a wonderful midwife who put herself on call for me and it had originally seemed as if another midwife (the other one moved away) would do the same this time. However, at 38 weeks I had the same discussion as you and was told that if someone else was having a home birth I would be asked to go in to the hospital etc.

I then had an extremely tearful weekend (not ideal at 38 weeks pregnant) worrying about it all before hubby wrote to the head of midwifery and cc the chief executive of the hospital.

To cut a long story short, I ended up with a rota of midwives who had offered to go on call for me every day and their supervisor of midwives to call if necessary.

It all turned out fine but only because we were so determined. I knew that a home birth was right for me and in the end, the midwives (2 straight away) arrived at 23.00,(and kept saying how relaxed I was and I wanted to keep saying that it was because I was at home where I wanted to be!!) I was examined at 23.45 and was 5-6 cm and my baby was born at 00.37 in the pool with no pain relief.

I would also suggest that you speak to AIMS who are very supportive and will help you to fight for your home birth if necesssary.

I also had 2 horrible hospital births with my first 2 and nothing would have stopped me from having the wonderful births that I have had with my last 2.

Don't give up xx

MummyLintern2Be · Dec 12, 2011 5:16PM

thanks for all the advice at my booking in a spoke to another midwife who said it was rubbish about short staffing as there is just as much chance you could be turned away at the birthing centre , she said to stick to my home birth as it sounds perfect for me but book into the birthing centre too so that if i am refused at the last min (highly unlikely she said ) i have kept my options open ,

the only thing she did mention was the size of my baby may stop me which is interesting as you delivered a 9lb 7oz ammeeuk , my first was 8lb 13 so said my second may be too big to deliver at home

the only thing i worried about was stitches did any of you ladies need them i needed a lot with my first xxx

ARG4 · Dec 13, 2011 3:54PM

Hi I know of a 11lb baby that was delivered easily at home!

I was a bit worried about my first home birth as my 2nd son had weighed 10lbs 4 oz but my daughter (3rd baby and first at home), who was my first baby that I was able to push out myself after 2 instrumental deliveries was 9lbs 2oz and face up but came out pretty easily.

My 6 week old was my smallest at 9lbs 1oz and came out with about 5 pushes!

I wouldn't worry about the size, the only thing that is an extremely slight possibilty is a shoulder dystocia where the shoulders get stuck but the midwife should be able to see if that is likely and the best thing to do then is stand up as gravity always helps.

I'd had episiotomies with my first 2 so had quite bad tears with my last 2 and the midwives wanted me to go in to hospital to be stitched which I did both times but was in and out really quickly within an hour. It is quite unusual and most tears can be stitched at home if necessary but even though I had to go in, it didn't spoil my home birth in any way and I always forget about that bit as it is so insignificant after the euphoria of a home birth!! xx

Unsure about a homebirth any advice please

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