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SCARED
Hello ladies I'm a 23 yr lady who is 35 weeks pregnant and am SO SCARED about labour I've been to classes whatched information DVDs and still am FREAKING out about birth what should I do??
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oh hun i know how you feel, really hard to take this on board now i know but nature knows what to do - and afterwards you won't even really remember the pain, it disappears when you hold your LO.
in terms of what to do...the fear definately makes it worse im afraid, if you can be as calm as possible nature is going to take its course more easily. It all depends what kind of birth you fancy - are you are water birth person or do you just want drugs? There's no shame in wanting the epidural if you are really frightened, although there are downsides such as needing more intervention often - you will be calmer and your body may well labour better than if you're terrified. thats not to say you can't do it without, gas and air is amazing and the water is lovely but you do need to listen to the midwife and go with it.
knowledge is power really as if you know more of what to expect you wont just freak about the unknown. usually, with a 1st baby you have a long period of irregular pains that take sometimes up to a couple of days to get into a pattern that means you're in labour. this time is tough and tiring, its important to rest (where possible, if they go off or in between), eat and drink or labour doesnt happen. tens machines are fab for this bit (hire one now ready) and mobilising helps things progress as well as helps with pain - bouncing on a birthing ball is good. have warm baths, they do help. dont get obsessed with the clock from the outset and keep ringing the hospital everytime you have a pain. its more than likely to be ages and until they are at least 5 minutely in a good pattern its not labour. if you keep going in veing examined and sent home it feels very demoralising.you will need to go through the pre labour part whatever but once you're established the pain relief options are open to you. theres nothing to stop you trying gas and air and water and progressing to an epidural if you want to, you dont know how it will be yet so dont put yourself under pressure with a plan in advance - but find out as much as you can. Do you have NCT classes you can go to in your area? 35 weeks is a good time but get booked in asap - they spend loads of time discussing everything. the nhs can be a bit rubbish in this area.
lastly, remember this is what you were made to do - you can do it. we dont live in the dark ages anymore and there are lots of options, you and the baby will be safe. xx
Every woman fears the unknown & labour/birth is just that. Nobody can tell you exactly what to expect as each is different (I've had two very different labours).
Essentially, don't panic, once labour starts your body will know what it needs to do & will actually do a lot of the work on it's own. Your mind will be aware of the discomfort but will focus more on the fact that your baby is finally on it's way. Yes, pushing is hard work but is soon forgotten the second baby is placed in your arms.
Don't be afraid to ask for pain relief, there is plenty of it available & nobody expects you to be a martyr in this day & age. Talk to your MW about the birth, if your planning a hospital birth ask if you can visit the delivery suite to see what's there, small things like this can help you feel better prepared. Best wishes & good luck
i think just be open from the start that you'd like an epidural - but also remember there is a good period of time coping with the pains before you're established and you can't have the epidural till then. so think about the time at home, get a birthing ball, hire a TENS and work out what you need to do with it beforehand, get nice bath stuff low lighting etc anything that makes you feel better. during the irregular pain bit, your cervix is softening, coming forward and starting to open but until your 4cm and pains coming regularly, you can't have the epidural. some people see it as they are not going to have any pain if they have the epidural - sadly there is always pain, but keep going as long as you can at home (this has been shown to get you into labour quicker than sitting in hospital as its an alien environment). rest where possible on your side in between pains, eat little bits of high energy food and drink lots of water or your body doesnt have the strength to labour and the last thing you want is to stay in limbo for any longer than you have to be.
It isnt unusual to have a couple of days of this (though hopefully youll be one of the lucky ones) but focus your strength on that time and tell yourself once you're established you will take the pain relief. if they are coming strong, in a pattern and lasting a long time, at least every 5 mins, it might be an idea to call the hospital. Sometimes there is a wait for an epidural if the aneasthetists are busy - can i suggest gas and air if necessary - amazing stuff! no one should go through life without a try lol! also lying on your back is the absolute pits - hurts so much more - i crouched over the end of the bed on the gas and air until i got my epidural and it felt so much better.
a lot of hospitals refuse the tours now due to health and safety but some allow it so worth a go, but please get in touch with nct, they book up quick but cant tell you what amazing and reassuring preparation they give you - both for birth and beyond with caring for baby, feeding etc and you can take someone with you x