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Im still bitter about childbirth
37 hour labour and 7 hours of pushing. No epidural. Baby came out dead but thankfully okay now. Im so upset that they kept me going so long. I really wanted to die at the time.
I wish my partner had said enough was enough and pushed for a section. I was begging to be killed. Never felt pain like it. They say you forget. I will never forget. I remember pain, the knife cutting my privates, the instruments being inserting into me. I could never do it again. Im traumitised.
How did you get passed this feeling? Im so angry, upset and bitter.
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I'm so sorry you had such a horrendous birth experience. No woman should have to feel that way, and i'm sorry you went through this.
It sounds to me that you've been left really traumatised. Have you thought about getting some post-birth counselling - talk to someone about your experience, it can really help.
And if you do go on to have another baby, just make sure you get a proper birth plan in place and talk through all your worries and fears with a midwife beforehand - birth doesn't have to be that bad, especially with all the pain relief available.
Good luck x