scary births still haunts me 10 months later

mummy2-89 · Jun 2, 2010 12:58PM

i no it may sound silly but i need to let this out . . . when i was in labour i was fine right up till the last hour or so, i went from 4cm to to having to push in 45 mins ,i was in so much pain that i could'nt actually control myself i just freaked, the midwife said i was being like it because of the gas and air until m aunt told her that i was having non stop contractions, the midwife then looked at my back and said that i needed to push (she could see where she was) i didnt feel the massive urge 2 push but did anyway as i was told to. everything then went white 'n all i cud hear was a loud beeping in my ears , my baby was in destress so they wanted to put a clip on her head and put a oxygen thing on my finger . . . all i could do was thrash about (as i couldnt conrol it for some reason) all i could hear was my auntie crying and doctors everywhere say about recuss and scbu,i actually thought my baby was dead so i stopped pushing and didnt want to push what i thought was a dead baby out . . . i couldnt see or hardly hear i thought i was dying with my baby i was so scared but ella finally arraved and weighed 9lb 10 'n a half . i ws so happy when i realised she was ok .She was taken off to scbu for a few hours to check her over as i had a worrying prgnancy ( they thought her bowl was coming out into her umbilical cord and thought that could be a sign of downs ect) I tore all inside and out its was not nice but my point is im only just 21 and am to scared to ever have another one im a single mum and will eventually meet some who'll want to settle down . . . .then what ? he may want a child of hia own $:\$ ( it scares me just the thought of it

[Modified by: mummy2-89 on 05 May 2010 11:16:06 ]

[Modified by: mummy2-89 on 05 May 2010 11:22:44 ]

cazzak · May 17, 2010 3:51PM

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a torrid time. I had quite a traumatic labour and birth and was kept in hospital for a few days afterwards for blood transfusions etc. Whilst I was there I asked if there was someone I could talk to about it all and found out that there was a service available for people to talk through any issues. I wonder whether your hospital, mw or hv could recommend something similar? It's confidential and they're specially trained to listen and answer questions. They can also go through your notes and help you understabd what happened and why - which may help you come to terms with it. As far as I know there's no time limit on this type of service post birth.
I hope you manage to find someone who can help.
C x

WoWbabies · Jun 2, 2010 12:58PM

hi, i agree with the otehr ladies, i ahd a traumatic birth and i was diagnosed with pnd because of it. my hv refrred me to a 'birth after thoughts' session (birth conselling), which can be doen anytime after the birth, even years later. it was great, and helped massively, the lady who did that then referred me to further counselling where it became apparant that it wasn't pnd and i was then diagnosed iwth post traumatic stress disorder. i still find it hard to talk about certain parts of the birth, and now i'm expecting no2 i'm beginningt o get flashbacks again so i'm going to arrange another meeting with the birth counsellor, and she's also the vbac specialist at the hospital so thats handy for me. i think u should definately see if this is available in ur area. she even put in an unofficial complaint on my behlaf to the matron of the maternity ward as when she went through my notes she discovered there were a few errors on the hospitals part during my labour. the matron then phoned me and said she would be arranging a meeting with me in due course, but i never heard any more (nrly a year ago) so i'm gonna chase taht up too, as i'm going to the same hospital and don't want the same mistakes to be made. take care xx

scary births still haunts me 10 months later

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