it_must_be_love's first birth story again! x

Hiya Girls! this is my birth story I posted a while back.. sorry re posting as i'm pregnant again and wanted to be able to find it easily for my consultants appt to talk about things! x


It feels like FOREVER since I've been able to get on here! withdrawals! lol
Right here is my birth story.. i'd advice if your about to go into labour it's proberly best not to read this! just to warn!
Right I went to hospital Thursday 10th July at 2 pm to have a sweep done.. was sent home and told to return at 8 pm for a proper induction if that didn't work.. it didn't so went home and OH made me a lovely meal got my stuff ready and we headed back up to the hospital for 8pm.
Was given some of the gel (2mg) at 10pm to which I reacted very strongly to and I had Hyper contractions every 2 mins which were very strong and painful.. they made OH leave me at 1ish because my body was working very hard but nothing was happening.. my OH promised to return at 10am if he didn't get a call before hand. At 3am I was really distressed I lay in my bed crying alone listening to the other women around me screaming which put the fear of god into me.. tears streamed down my face, I looked for a midwife to get some pain relief but I couldn't find one on the ward and where and I got back into bed and I watched the clock waiting for my OH to come back up.. 10am arived & he wasn't there.. well I sobbed.. I was so scared & sore.. my lovely consultant came in just at that point doing her rounds checked the monitor and seen my contractions that had been regestered and asked me if I wanted some proper pain relief.. and I got a shot of pethined (Mmm.. very good stuff!) 10:10am he strolls in with lots lovely things he picked up from the hospital shop for me.. hence being 10mins late.. and I was super chilled and and loved up, but I had been on the phone just before the consultant walked in to him so he'd known I was tearful.
He stayed with me and stroked my face and back untill I fell a sleep.. and kept saying sorry i'm late I just thought you might like some bits.. bless! It was only 10 mins but when you've watched the clock all night it felt like forever!
Had some gas n air and was given more Gel friday night again.. was pretty much a repeat of the night before but More women screaming at 0 - 3 cm's diolated! I'm sure it was just fear.. I was silent as a lamb the whole way though just untill the pushing bit..but they really did scared me.. more than the pain i think.. My OH stayed with me again & tried some of the gas and Air .. it was the funnest thing watching him... Id have some when a contraction came and he'd be watching the monitor and when it was wearing off he'd say 'my turn hand it over' all the women were hooked up to matchines so you could hear all the babies heartbeats really loudly.. at which point my OH started to dance to them.. saying this stuff is GREAT they should sell it in clubs! then wetting him self laughing... I told him if he suck on the pipe any harder and he'd make a lovely friend for someone in prison! and to give it back!!
they sent him home at 3am because the labour ward was 'to busy' so they wouldn't allow me to progress any further.. they gave me another shot of pethindine to help me sleep..
all day sat had the contractions but still wouldn't let me progress because they were 'too busy.. but when a bed came up in labour ward they would transfer me..and I was most defo next'..
A few women came in who had gone into labour naturally and were quite far progressed and screaming so they were que jumped in front as there's couldn't be delayed.. but by this point I really was getting exasuated! and emotionally drained the fear is the worst part I felt!
Sunday - asked for more gas and air and was promised all day that I would be moved over as nearly the whole time I was there I had been getting strong contractions every two mins.. my OH was sooo good such a darling looking after me.. the day shift had told me that they would move me as soon as the rooms had been cleared from the women who where in labour currently in them.. however when the evening shift came on.. the other women who had only been induced that evening were screaming.. me and my OH heared the evening staff saying they couldn't listen to that.. so they would send them over first because i was quite.. I burst into tears.. my OH got really cross as I honestly wasn't able for much more.. he stormed up to the midwife station told them he had heard what they had said that that if I wasn't moved next that he would be taking me private because what they were doing was inhumane and barbarrick. I think they were a bit taken back that he had actually heard what they had said and although he was very cross he was not agressive.. they threaterned sercurity on him.. he said call them if you want.. but if I go she is coming with me and i'll be taking her to another hospital and putting in a formal complain about you.. they shit them selves..
thank goodness.. he also demaned another canister of gas and air as mine had almost run out.. which they were more than obliging because they had been cause out! lol trust him!
I think I was moved an hour later! just goes to show they tell you they are busy and have 'no room' but they managed it when they thought there would be a complaint!
so this was my forth night with labour..
they gave me the drip of sentosis (sp) I had an epidural - I hadn't ruled it out but wasn't my first choice to have one but after being in labour so long already I was just simply not able to bare much more.. I progressed quite quickly and was fully diolated! It was painful and it hurt.. but was managable I think the fear/waitting was the worse part.. so far..
They gave me an hours break and then came the pushing! honeslty I felt like my insides were falling out.. and it was really confusing trying to work out how to push.. for this part I had NO Pain relief!! my god it HURT! I begged for a C-Section but I was too far gone.. my bum had gone num and was starting to get pressure sore but I was paralised so was unable to move myself.. I just begged my OH for water.. as the midwife screamed/shouted at me to push harder.. the sweat!! It's the hardest thing to do ever.. they weren't joking when they called it labour.. I pushed and pushed they kept telling me 'I can see the head' and the midwife dragged my OH down the bissiness end to have a look the baby got stuck so they had to cut me.. the sissors were massive and i had no pain relief so was really scared but you are so glad once it's been done.. NEVER thought i'd hear myself say I was glad someone hacked at my privates with a massive pair of sissors.. but you are trust me!
A few more pushes and he was out! They rushed him off and cleaned him up and tried to give him to me.. but I felt funny I just kept saying him him to his dad i'm not able - at which point I had a MAJOR hemoridge (sp) and lots well over a liter of blood my OH said it was just like a fountain and just kepted coming.. 6 years weve been together and i've NEVER seen him cry but he was sobbing & said it was the hardest thing to watch the person you love the most go through so much.. the crash team were rushed in I think my OH said there was like 13 midwifes doctors ect in the room.. I don't really rmember this bit to well as I was so poorly..
they stopped the bleeding eventually.. and I had to be sticked up down below.. OW!
My OH whom had wanted a football team of children told me he was getting the snip because he could NEVER watch me go through that again.. I looked at my baby across the room.. my eyes filled with tears and I replied saying.. 'i'd do it all again in a heart beat to have him again, ive fallen in love' my OH looked bewilliedered.. but wondered over to the baby.. and he'd his hands... & I watched him fall in love then and there!
I got like waves of love come over me for both of them.. and it's true what they say about forgetting.. the facts about many have had to be retold to me because I simply can't remember.. doctors would ask me about a certain part and i'd like at my OH lost and for the answers.. in someways i think it was far worse for him because he had to watch it all and had no hormones makeing him forget..
I had to have a blood transfusion I was meant to have 3 pints but my vain colasped after two and they couldn't get a vein anywhere else.. believe me it wasn't for the want of trying.. feet, legs, groin, hands, wrists, side arm, inside elbow.. near sholder.. was going to try for the neck next but I asked if they could see if the two pints would help first..
I spent over a week in hospital.. they wanted to keep me another but I begged to go home.. My OH has been a star and really looking after me.. unforunitly the day i went into hospital my mum was rushed into hospital by abulence as well and spent the same about of time there so were couldnt really see each other..
I feel like my body has been tramisted!brusted, battered, cut, sore, swollen, piles, bleeding, saggy tummy.. I was told by doctors/midwifes that I was lucky to be hear at all.. I am a bit tearful after it all..
but do you know what.. I love him so much! it was worth every sec/min/hour/day.. he is beautiful... such a georgous child.. i'm so in love.. i can't stop looking at him, wanting to touch him.. give him kisses and cuddles and i'm sure were both driving those around us mad saying .. 'ahh look how sweet he is he is yawning in his sleep' lol but you just can't help it!
Daddy is off getting his first tattoo done for our baby..
He was 8lbs and 6 ounces but I was induced nearly 3 weeks early! & we have a name!!! we have called him Charlie Daniel Jack... he was born on the 13th July at 9:52pm..
we will be having a break.. lol but I certainly wouldn't let it put me off having more.. but for now there just arn't enought hours in the day lol.. finding it hard just to keep on top of day to day living.. and Charlie is a very good baby.. very placid and easy to passify while waitting for food.. only cry's when he is hungry or naked!
for those of you who are about to have babies and have read this dispite my warning lol you do loose all dignity.. but do you know what you just wont care! xxx
that's it for now.. got LOADS more to tell you all but need to go and have a cuddle!
lol.. MWAH!!! xxxxxxx

4 weeks later..

there are many thing in this that i forgot to add and are only slowly coming back to me over time and as i start to piece things together.. like having a cathitor, not pooing for two and a half weeks then colapsing in pain from pooing what felt like razor blades, veins exploding in my arms and arm swelling like a tennis ball.. at the time in conparation to what I was going thru they felt like little things!

At the time and shortly after I was in an awful state tbh completely, I really wished I had died.. it was how I felt at the time

I couldn't walk across a room without OH having to grab my wrist to stop me/catch me fainting/colapsing..

my body was in such a mess after giving birth if i stood i felt like my insides were going to fall out, and i had no control over the toilet, i was black and blue all over, i couldnt hold my own baby and was so distressed that i was to weak to lift him alone out of his cot, stiches, piles, and so much more... like being spoken to in a cross way by midewife, being forced to push when wasn't ready, been made to feel like a woose for wanting gas and air along side the epidural, not being able to lift my own legs, being SOOO HELPLESS!

Being in labour having strong contractions for 96 hours! being made to use striups! oh god I hated them! Been made to give birth on my back..

luckily I fell in love and am slowly getting over it although sometimes feel upset thinking about it..

what I have learnt!

1. I will NEVER hand that much control over to midwifes again!
2. I will be more insisting 'making a fuss' so I don't get left for 4 days because I don't like to complain so being left as it means they are in for a quiter night with me..
3. my body - my baby - MY WAY!
4. HOW TO PUSH! lol took a while for me to work out because they were forcing me before I was ready...
5. that things do get better and you dont always feel so bad
6. you fall in love & that babies are so worth it!

I had an awful time but I wouldn't let it stop me again..I wouldn't choose to go thru what happened with my first i'd love an easy labour.. all my friends seem to pop them out going to the loo, waiting for the ambulence ect.. and have 'rapid' labours and don't 'believe in messing around' (said with humour) but still a touchy subject for me.. cant really joke or take jokes about it yet.. (bit side tracked) but anyway if this was the only way I could have Charlie knowing what I know now... I'd still do it.. dispite nearly dying he was worth it for me 100 times over! x