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Hospital fears

Lately I've been getting a bit nervous about the birth. That sounds so silly as I'm only 22+2!

What I'm most nervous about is the hospital. I've heard some awful stories about how pushy the midwives are and I haven't really decided whether I want to breastfeed or not, though I'll probably try it. I've been speaking to my oh's aunt and she says if you don't breastfeed or if you use any products like baby wipes instead of cotton wool and water they will keep you in longer cos they think you can't look after a baby. I'm young as well and I've heard some horror stories about how hospital staff treat young mums really badly.

Since I've been pregnant, I'm so funny about personal space and I hate the thought of people touching me and telling me what to do. What's worse is my oh knows this and he's the same, if anyone tries to patronise me or anything he will go mad and I'm scared we'd be kept in hospital longer because of that.

Has anyone else worried about this? I dunno...I'm being silly...but I just want me and oh to do it our way. I think a home birth would make me feel more relaxed but I can't see myself not having pain relief apart from gas and air! lol!

Replies

  • Best advice I can give you is not to listen to horror stories from other people! Talk to your midwife about the birth plan you want and try and keep it flexible as things can often change at the last minute!
    I'm 39+5 with my first and live abroad so can't give you much advice about the hospital but what I can tell you is that you will be so uncomfortable by the end you will just want the baby out! That's how I am feeling now and to be honest although I know it is probably going to hurt like hell I just want to meet my lo now and get it over and done with.

    From friends I have spoken to in the UK about their births there is a big variation on how they have been treated from hospital to hospital, but I have never heard of anyone being kept in for using baby wipes or not breast feeding!
    Main thing is they want to make sure you are the baby are ok, is your lo feeding ok etc before you go home but they seem to let people go home within hours in the UK.
    Over here (Norway) you are encouraged to stay in for a few days at least so they can show you how to change and bath your baby, breast or bottle feed and are as rested as possible before you get home for all the sleepless nights!

    By the way though you don't need to use any products on a newborn other than cotton wool balls and water as they don't really get dirty (other than the nappy end!), and it can aggrevate their delicate skin. Get a few books and read up so you know your stuff and can make your own decisions, also SMA do a great free DVD for first time mums going through all the newborn know how.

    Try not to worry about it and enjoy this part of your pregnancy as it all goes very quickly!

    Liz xx
  • hi i obviously cant advise on your particular hospital, but i am preg with second and what i would say is please dont listen to other people's stories!!!!you have to just take your experience as it comes... yes, the midwifes will advise that you shouldnt use baby wipes at first, and they will prob make sure the baby is feeding properly and that you can do it basically (bottles etc) but i think they are more relaxed about breastfeeding these days, they will advise that its best, but i never once felt that i was thought less of or anything because i bottle fed.
    i got a chart i had to fill in for the amount of milk my daughter drank at each feed, so they could see how much she was having which is understandable but they didnt watch over me or anything...if i had a problem i asked. they showed me the basics like how to bath and best way to feed/wind etc but after that i was left to it. i dont think you will have a prob with them crowding you etc (unless they are overstaffed which if its nhs i think will be opposite). i dont think they can keep you in for those reasons, but i would think it would be responsible for them to make sure you are confident in what you are doing before you go home, but only for the good of yourself and the baby.hope that helps x
  • I was dreading being examined and "exposed" when i gave birth, i am quite private and have only ever had 1 smear test as i just couldn't bring myself to "get my bits out", but to be honest when you are in labour you don't care, at the end of the day you don't know the people who are there and you are highly unlikely to ever see them again so try not to let it bother you.

    I've even been managing to breastfeed in front of my step children, the son just totally ignores us, although the daughter tries to sneak a look but at 11yrs old she's just had the "talk" at school and is curious!!

    Good luck

    Obi
  • Dont listen to other peoples horror stories coz when I was pregnant with my 1st I started listening to what other peole had said & was really stressed out about it. I was also panicky about staying in hospital for any length of time too & I mentioned it to my GP & she told me about domino births, where basically your community midwife comes to your home to examine you when you go into labour, then accompanies you to hospital/birth unit & delivers your baby. You stay in hospital for around 6 hours & if everything is ok (baby feeding well, wet & dirty nappies etc..) you get home & the community midwife continues your postnatal care at home. The advantage to this type of birth is that you will know the midwife who is delivering your baby & she will be their for you from start to finish so you'll not have to worry about midwife shift changes. The way it works does vary from area to area so it would be worth asking your community midwife to see what way it works in your area but I can totally recommend it as I've had both my girls this way. In our area the pain relief thats available for a domino delivery is gas & air, pethidine, water, tens machine. If it had really got too bad though because the birth unit is attached to a hospital I could have transferred & had an epidural if I really needed it. To me the domino was the best of both worlds & you were in the right place just incase there were any complications

    Good luck & try not to worry too much

    Hilary x
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