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why hasnt it got any better??????
Hi all i havent been on for a few weeks, i know it may sound silly but i just couldnt bring myself to log on. I had a mc about 3 weeks ago and it still hurts soooo bad, everyone keeps saying to me that it will get better and easier, but when does this happen? I feel just as bas now as i did when it happened, im crying all the time and i think about my lost baby all the time. I have a 23 mths old daughter and although she does put a smile on my face and make me laugh, the sadness is always there, i just cant seem to push it away. I was diagnosed with post natel depression after my daughter was born, and have been back on my meds for 3 weeks but still feel like crap. I know you have all been through what i have and i just wanted to know, how long does it take to feel better?
I want to try for another baby but oh doesnt, he didnt really want the baby that i lost.
Sorry to go on but i have no one else to talk to.
Take care all
Kirsty
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I want to try for another baby but oh doesnt, he didnt really want the baby that i lost.
Sorry to go on but i have no one else to talk to.
Take care all
Kirsty
xxxxxxxx
0
Replies
I had an op to remove my ectopic baby just over 8 weeks ago, and it still hurts just as much. I cry less now, but I am still crying and what I feel is no less than how it felt when it first happened.
I can imagine how much more difficult it is for you when your bdy is telling you it wants to be PG but your OH isn't keen. Was the baby you lost an accidental pregnancy? I know how it feels to have that unbelievable sadness but to still want another baby straight away. I feel incredible guilty as if I am trying to replace my first baby, but nothing will replace him- it is nature making me wat to be PG again this desperately
With regards to how quickly it takes to feel any better, I don't think there is an answer. Has anyone offered you councilling to help with your loss? I think you might benefit from that, even if you don't think it will help now
Big hugs and take care x
please dont apologise for writing on here, thats what were here for
Im sorry you are still feeling so sad, im sure everybody feels different, but i will say 3 weeks after my Ectopic i was still sat in my pj's crying on the sofa, 2 weeks later im now up and about, and feeling much brighter.
Im obviously still upset, but for me i needed to drag upself up, cos i could feel myself sprialing down. After my op i was given meds that mean i cant try again for at least 3 months, in some ways i think this has helped me cos now i dont have to think about that scary decison for a while, it given me a little break (which i prob need!) Maybe just give yourself ntil the new year and then sit down with your oh and have a good chat about what you both want.
I hope your feeling better soon, remember your hormones are still going crazy, hopefully it may help when they have settled a bit.
Good luck x
I know there is still plenty of time to have another baby, but i really want it now!
Hope u r all ok
Kirsty xxx
You may be feeling it worse because you think you wont get another chance and with this you need to sit your hubby down and talk to him one on one at legnth. If he doesn't listen to you or walks away then honestly I hate to say it he might not be worth it. If he will sit with you and talk with you about it though that will help both of you because he has to deal with this loss too and whether he will admit it or not he will be hurting. He may just not want another baby right now but if you could talk with him and set a date for trying in the future that might help. I think its a good idea for you to wait anyway don't use another baby to make it better, deal with you grief first or it will come to bite you in the butt later and also you need to get a handle on your depression. I am not saying this to be mean I am saying it because I have been there and it was 18 months before I had another child and I am glad I took the time to grieve because later I could see how valid my feelings of loss were and I had moved on enough to be able to deal with another child.
You have lost a child whether anyone around you realises that or not and just shut out those idiots that say it gets better or you can always have another one. What do they know? You need to understand that the way you feel is valid and we all grieve in different ways but loosing your child to miscarriage is no different to loosing a child that went full term or died 5 or 10 years into their life. There are missed opportunities for you, for that child and your baby was part of you. Once you are dealing with your feelings better you can sort out where you and your hubby are at but I do beg you for now just deal with each problem one at a time.