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I know i should wait but....

...i am going crazy!

My logical head tells me i need my af to come so if i did fall pregnant straight away (Which im hoping i do as i did last time rather than have the disappointment month after month) i would maybe be a bit out with my dates but how far out could i really be?

I think if i dont wait i would be more likley to mc again but i have been told there is no reason why....have read lots of stories on here of people who get pregnant straight away and sadly lose their babies again which makes me think that might be something to do with their body not being ready but then you read stories of people gettin caught without even af appearing and hey go on to have a healthy baby and then theres the people who wait 3, 4, 5, 6 months and sadly it happens again but im driving myself crazy - i cry at pregnant woman on tv (Colleen Rooney for feck sake) as i want it to be,....maybe its because i would be 12+5 now and should be telling everyone this weekend thats makin me feel like this but its like an empty hole and all i can do to fill it is be preganat again or at least try to be and its not about replacing this baby as i will never forget them but its because we want it so much...

Im driving myslf crazy as i feel in limbo at the minute...i AM goin to wait for af (will also reassure me that my wombs clear as although the scan showed nothing retained she said if there was anything it would come away with my period?) i just wish it would appear like NOW argh!

It will be 3 weeks on Monday since baby came out and i had a 26-28 day regular cycle before the pregnancy but as it was a mmc i dont kno if i can count that as start of cycle or not - does any1??
so im hopin its here one week on monday or there abouts but as it can take longer (and i used to get my period about 12th of the month) im paranoid that it may not come til then again and so be another month although i know with mc your cycles can go all over the place and u may not ovulate or you may but at a different time of the month but i just wish it would show and im driving myself demented here...

I am so scared this wil lhappen again and its puttin us off tryin but we know we have to...a wee psychic guy who told me lots of things when i was 19 which have came true said my first born (not first baby or first pregnancy which this was) would be a boy so i know i am meant to be a mummy (as are all u other lovely ladies) and i just have to believe it but he also said it would be planned - our plan was to wait til June and then at new year we just ditched the condoms one night (has been off the pill for well over a year) but it was a week before my period so we knew we wouldnt get pregnant but it was like 'oh we are going to try for a baby now' so maybe that wasnt enough planning where as now its proper 'we want it now' planning but i am just driving myself crazy!!!

Please send some af dust my way (even tho its a long way off i am trying wishful thinking)

Soz not much point for this post reall! :roll:

Lx

Replies

  • Aw I know how you feel and to be honest I have been feeling pretty good lately and I can't say my partner and I are being paticularly careful and we may concieve before my six week check as from past experience with my other miscarriages I am either on time or early with my period after a miscarriage. I tried to wait I really did but I just miss being pregnant too much so I know how you feel.

    I know how hard it is I even find it hyard sometimes to read posts on here where people have got their BFP but then I am also so happy for them as its such a precious thing to be having a healthy baby.

    Try to hang in there and sending AF a map to your house right now lol.
  • Hi Lauz

    The weeks after a mc are so frustrating aren't they? You just want to know what's happening and where you stand and what your body is up to! And you want the reassurance that everything will go back to normal with your cycles. My GP said that if you had a regular cycle before getting pregnant/mc'ing then you should go back to a regular cycle but it may not be of the same length. Before my first pregnancy/mc I had 30 day cycles. After my first mc my cycles went to 29 days (although I only had one full, normal af - af cycle before falling pregnant again). After my last mc my first full cycle was 29 days and so I thought perhaps they'd settled there but I've just had my 2nd one and that was back to 30 days! So I guess it can mess you around for a little while. Also my cycle symptoms have completely changed (and got a lot worse unfortunately!) but my GP said that if I'm not pregnant in the next few months then they'd probably settle down again...but I'm hoping for a sticky BFP instead!

    There is no right answer as to when to try again as long as you have the all clear from EPU/Dr. It's a very personal decision and you just have to do what is right for you and your OH. I've felt very different after each of my mc's and waited different lengths of time after each. The only thing I would say from my personal experience is that grief has a horrible habit of sneaking back up on you if you don't deal with it right away. But everyone is different and as long as you feel happy with your decision that's all that matters.

    The consultant that I saw at the Recurrent MC Clinic said that getting pregnant soon again after a mc makes no difference and does NOT make you more likely to mc again. I was worried about the exact same thing as I got pregnant within a few months of mc'ing each time. So rest assured that it won't have a negative impact.

    I too feel really scared about trying again but I don't think I will feel any less scared if we wait another 2, 3 or 6 months. Sadly after what we've been through it's only natural to worry. But remember that statistics are on your side for everything to go well next time.

    I know it's really difficult seeing others who are pregnant and who seem to have it easy. I often have to remind myself that they may well have suffered from mc too and I just don't know....especially celebrities who are less likely to talk about it publicly. But it's not fair that anyone has to go through this heartache and pain...especially when there are those that drink and smoke or do drugs and have no problems at all - now that makes me mad!

    Anyway, sorry for waffling on - just wanted to say you're not alone :\)

    Sending lots of AF dust!!

    Love and hugs, NN xxx


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    Click Here To Read My Ramblings On Living With Loss
  • p.s - forgot to say that no, you can't count mc or erpc as day one of your cycle but you can expect first AF usually 4 - 6 weeks after mc.
  • Hey Lauz,

    It is so annoying that you can't start straight after a mc as it would help i think as it would give a purpose but your af will come and when it does at least you will know that everything is clear and you can start again safe in the knowledge that your womb is ready!!!
    Hope you are feeling a bit better and not in so much pain - try and rest and eat eggs ( chocolate ones are the best kind )
    Love Rena x x
  • Thanks....

    NattyNik: Yes its the uncertainty thats the worse part now as i feel in limbo and im worried that my af wont appear or that my cycles will be completely buggered up now. Im just praying it was a case of 'bad luck' and that things go ok next time..seen as my body didnt want to let the baby go it must have been nestled in snuggly and my cervix took ages to open as well to pass the baby so im trying to be positive and think that these are good signs but that something else just went wrong but its hard to be positive isnt it?

    We have decided to try again whenever my af appears and see what happens (hopefully a sticky bfp) as i expect it to take a while given whats happened and the fact we will be more stressed about it now but as you have said it shouldnt make us any more likely to mc if it happens straight away. I feel the same as u in that im scared but waiting up to 6 months isnt goin to make it any less scary or less upsetting or easier to deal with it happens again. You have been through so much and your lookin forward to Round 4 and thats an inspiration...you deserve your baby so much and i hope u have ur sticky bfp soon so lots of baby dust to you....

    Rena: Its VERY annoying...have u started ttc yet given ur af appearance last week? I hope my womb is ready and the linig becomes nice and strong again...I am still a little sore but my bloods came back clear so i have no idea what was wrong with me and i think they thought it was all in my head! I think it may have been constipation (tmi) when i think about it now..hopefully its getting better (havent really bothered with the last of the antibiotics as no point)

    The plan is to go back to work on Tuesday (i have had 4 weeks off so i will have sooo much to catch up on) my boss didnt seem too impressed last week and said would she just say to the other girls (i share with 3 other people as well as the 2 hvs i work with and they were only other 2 that knew) i said ok as i think they were obviously wondering what was goin on and i planned to tell them anyway when i went back and it might be easier when they know! Today i got a massive bouquet of flowers delivered from work which i thought was very nice of them! (I had said about the scan bein clear but the pain etc and that hopefully i will be back on Tuesday!) I text the nice hv (one im not so keen on lol) and she has been textin all week to see how i am she said they are all thinking of me and looking forward to having me back and that they were to 'cheer me up a little' which they actually did as they are gorgeous and smell lovely and i thought it was really thoughtful of them! She also told me that she too has been through miscarriage so i suppose she knows how i feel and its nice knowin i can talk to her if i need to. They are all a lot older than me in my work and i was a bit worried about that at first but they have been really nice to me given i was only there 6 months! (She know has 3 grown up childen and 5 grandchildre which is hopefully what i wil have at her age - and all of us too!)

    Anyway...im still not sleeping but today i have been very productive! I have cleaned my whole house as it looked like a bomb had gone off it in - my dining room had become a general dumping ground! Hubby has been doing the basics but its more my 'job' as he does the 'manly' things hehe and has been busy this week doecorating the guest room and building furniture and putting shelves up and lights etc...so i have had a proper spring clean today and i feel better for it! We have hubbys mum and dad coming for dinner tomorrow which im not really looking forward to but i make the effort every now and then for hubbys sake so we really had to clean and i suppsoe that was the push i needed (i can imagine her face if she had seen my house as it was lol) hubby even helped! The deal is tho that he hovers (we stay in a 3 level house so draggin the hoover down all the stairs is not something i like doing so i clean and he hoovers lol!

    Anyways enough rabling i should try and get some sleep!

    Happy Easter!

    Love Lxx

    P.s I didnt think i could count that as first day of my cycle but i hope af appears next week as i was regular beforehand!

    P.P.s Its horrible and sad the reason why we are all on here but its also nice to know that ur not alone (not that i want people to go through mc but u know what i mean) :\)

  • Hi Ladies,

    Firstly, am so sorry to hear about your losses.

    I am new to this forum and would be so grateful for any help/advice. I had a mc in Feb (got to 10 weeks but baby had died at 6 weeks). My af came just over 3 weeks after my mc, so OH and I are ttc again.

    Have been using the OV sticks but still haven't got my OV. I am now 23 days into my cycle (which was always 28-29 days prior to my mc). Is it possible that my OV would be so out of sync after a mc? Why haven't I OV'd yet considering that my af came so soon after my mc? Am so frustrated. Any advice?

    I was also really worried about ttc again. But my OH and I were so desperate to get back on it. When I had my final scan there was still a small piece of the placenta left in my uterus. Nothing seemed to come out after that, but luckily af came quite quickly, so I figured it was ok to ttc. My GP told me that I would not be at any greater risk of mc. So go for it! I have read in some books that you are more fertile in the three cycles after a mc. So I reckon go for it!

    Thanks for listening. :\)

    af dust coming your way.....

    Edie31 xx
  • Least i dont have to wait much longer now that my af is here *does an af dance*

    Im scared and worried and paranoid - i hope it doesnt take months to fall again as it didnt last time but i also hope i fall with a stick bfp!!

    Sorry for not replying - i forgot about this thred actually.

    Hope you have a BFP soon!

    Lx
  • Hi
    Had to reply to last comment as I too am finally doing the 'af dance'! after almost 3 months - so know how you feel! can;t believe its something I would ever feel so pleased about! (or would even mention!)
    Daisyx:lol:
  • lol Daisy - i was sooo excited when it started for the first and only time in my life i was glad it was here. Its a sad reminder of not being pregnant any more but given everything thats happened the oast few months its the best thing that could have happened as it puts an end to the not knowing and im now looking forward to starting to ttc again next month as its like a positive step anf at least i know have some hope again.

    Glad your afs here so heres to a sticky BFP for us all soon!

    Lx
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